Spirit of the Season - Beckett
by lms2457
Summary: Castle sets out to help Kate rediscover the magic of the holiday season. But there are two sides to every story...
1. November 28: Evergreen

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies

_For CB, half this monster is yours. Thanks for putting up with me. The medal is already planned..._

* * *

Day 1 - Evergreen  
November 28, 2012

* * *

It had not been a particularly long day, but that didn't mean that's wasn't Kate glad it was over. They had broken the case early in the day, and she did manage to get a relatively easy confession from her suspect. The fact that it hadn't been a particularly "Beckett Flavored" case to begin with, had kept the inevitable paperwork to a minimum.

Castle had even stayed for a while, doing a measure of his own form of "paperwork" on his newest gadget, An iPad mini that had arrived less than a week before. At some point in the early afternoon, she had looked up from her forms and rolled her eyes as he typed furiously away at the

small keyboard, imagining him working his way through whatever was the hottest game craze of the moment. "Any good over there?" She had asked, surprised when he neither looked up nor particularly answered the question with much more than a noncommittal hum.

She raised an eyebrow. Actually, as she thought about it she realized that there was something different about the motion of his fingers across the smooth surface. It wasn't the frantic tapping of his thumbs or tilting of the device that usually accompanied his usual, rather gleeful gameplay.

Instead, he seemed to be concentrating unusually hard, on the screen in front of him, the fingers of one hand dancing across the smooth surface in a pattern that was orderly, if not predictable. Suddenly she realized, he was typing. No, he was writing.

She tried to tamp down the sudden thrill that the idea of him sitting next to her, nonchalantly working on his next novel gave her, and turned back to her paperwork. When they both came up for air about an hour later, he didn't say anything about whatever it was he had been working on, he merely went on to lunch with her, then said that he had some things to finish up at home and he would see her later that evening.

Now as she headed downstairs and out through the main doors of the precinct, she realized they had not made any specific plans as to whether to meet at his place or hers. She was just digging out her phone to give him a call as she reached the street, when she heard a voice behind her call out: "Miss Beckett?"

She turned at the sound, somewhat surprised even as she recognized the voice. It was one of the regular drivers from the car service that Castle often used. "Max?" She stepped over to the tall man, seeing his car by the curb. "I wasn't expecting you," she admitted with a slight smile.

"Mr. Castle mentioned that when he made the appointment, ma'am. He said I should give you this."

The driver handed Kate a small envelope, and she turned it over in her hand slowly. "I assume he gave you some kind of destination when he made this appointment?" she asked thoughtfully.

"Yes ma'am," Max says, but she noticed that he didn't

seem inclined to tell her where that destination was. She raised an eyebrow.

"Paperwork says the Hilton New York," the driver offered as he leaned over to open the door. An obvious invitation, with no further information supplied.

Now both of Kates eyebrows shut up. A hotel, certainly, but nothing that exactly screamed seduction. And if that was what Castle had in mind, he certainly wouldn't have pulled a surprise semi-abduction by car service. No fun teasing her about it in advance that way.

She chewed on her lower lip for a moment, and then shrugged her shoulders and got in. She knew Max well enough not to feel threatened by the unexpected turn in her day. She and Castle had gotten a bit bolder in their willingness to go out in public as summer gave way to fall, though still to quiet, out of the way places where Castle's modest level of notoriety was less likely to matter.

And when they were traveling at night, he had insisted on using the car service over cabs or public transportation, on the grounds that the service and its staff has always been far more discrete than your average cabbie, whose wife might be a fan. It wasn't usually her style, but she hadn't argued. He spent most of his days bending his life around her job. She could return the favor.

As the car moved into the city traffic, she suddenly remembered that she had the possibility of at least some level of explanation right in her own hands. She looked down at the small envelope she had nearly forgotten, and opened it curiously. It was no larger than the size of a card that would accompany flowers. As she pulled out the scrap of paper from within, she couldn't help but laugh a little.

So Castle. His own little cloak and dagger game. She kind of loves it. And him. Oh, wow. Yeah. She pushed that thought down where it belonged - wherever that was, and turned the paper over. In Castle's neat, familiar hand was one word: Evergreen.

"What are you up to?" She murmured aloud in the relative quiet of the vehicle. Max looked back at her and smiled. He said nothing though, and she suspected it was because he really didn't know anything. Though, if he did, she knows the man would be loathe to step on Castle's surprise. They all would.

Didn't stop her from texting her partner the question, though. Then she turned her attention to the traffic out her window. It was getting heavier as they traveled, and she frowned, trying to recall what could be causing the gridlock. Whatever it was, it seemed Max was prepared for it. He worked his way through like the professional he was, glancing back at her to tell her they would be there shortly.

She smiled her thanks just as her phone sounded with an incoming text message from Castle. She glanced down. "You have your clue Detective. In the meantime I'll be right here waiting for the lightbulb moment."

What in the -

She looked up as they approach the hotel, saw the mass of people ahead a few blocks to the west, toward Rockafeller Center - wait.

She sits up with a joke, as the car pulls to a stop. "He's crazy!" She exclaimed to Max, but the driver was already making his way out of the vehicle and coming around to the back of the car to let her out.

Then Castle appeared, a full grin plastered all over his face. "You made it," he said, as if he thought for a moment that she might not have.

"Pretty much all thanks to Max in this craziness," she aknowledges. "Castle, seriously? Do you have any idea how crazy it is down there? I mean, I admire the thought but it's an absolute zoo and people have been lining up there all day, some overnight if you want to talk about the particularly overzealous tourists."

Castle's grin just got wider, so she stopped talking. Clearly, he was up to something. She should be used to that by now, she supposed. He was always up to something.

"You figured it out," he said, and for a minute she thought he might actually bounce right out of his shoes.

"Lightbulb moment?" She asked, trying to give the question something of a derisive edge and mostly failing. Because really, he's cute like this.

His answering smile was something more like a smirk.

"I think we'll manage to find our way," he said as he reached in and pulled something out of his coat pocket. When he hands them over, she realizes that they are some sort of VIP passes. For the tree lighting in Rockefeller Center. She didn't even know they made these things.

"Castle, don't you think maybe that's a little much? I mean -" It must've cost fortune is what she meant, but she didn't know how to say it without sounding, well too late for that really.

"It was ridiculous actually," he admitted. She was a little relieved at the way he didn't try to just pass it off. "Even I'm not well enough connected to get a hold of these normally. They're mostly for TV network executives that work at NBC, that sort of thing."

Her eyes must've gone wider because his gaze shifted away from her. "It's not what you think, Kate I promise. It was a charity event, last April. There was an auction for one of the public schools for two passes. It was a decent cause and it looked like fun, so I bid high on it."

The thought that it was for a good cause settled her a little bit. Okay, there would likely be TV and press and things, but she could deal with that. He was trying to do something nice for her, and the truth was she hadn't done the "Christmas in the city," or even really the Christmas thing at all since she was a teenager. Looking up at him now, she could see that he knew that.

She nodded, and they started the short walk down the few blocks toward Rockefeller Center. "I figured the hotel would be a good place for Max to drop you off, because trying to park for these next few blocks is going to be more than a little insane all night long. Even just for a drop off," he said.

She nodded, and twined her fingers with his. It really was thoughtful of him to go to all trouble. She tried to push her reservations out of her mind and go with it. Something still didn't sit right with her, but she tried to force it down, realizing that he had to have this for a long time. Oh.

She stopped in her tracks on the sidewalk, halting his momentum with their joined hands. He turned back to her, and walked a step or two forward so that they stayed together amid the crowd. "What is it Kate?" he asked, concern in his eyes.

"April. Castle, you bought these passes in April?" That was what it was, what had been bothering her on their walk. She and Castle had barely been on speaking terms last spring, had been right on the edge of over.

She saw the register with him, which is getting out. So the clouds drift over his eyes and then clear. "Kate," he started, then looked away and swallowed. Because they haven't talked about all of it, not yet, and part of her wondered if they ever would. But this part she needs to know.

He sighs. "Okay, when I bought them Alexis hadn't decided where she was going to go to college yet. You and I were, well, we were a mess. I was looking for something to cheer myself up, and I bought them thinking that she and I could go while she was home for winter break."

The thought settled over her like ice. His daughter home for her first winter break from college. She pulled back from him without thinking, took a step backward. But his arm came down around her back to settle at her waist, creating an effective barrier between her and throng of people moving behind her so that she wouldn't step back into the crush of people.

"Castle," she said, her ears ringing with the weight of it. Because she and Alexis had been getting on well enough lately, and she wanted to keep it that way. Because he should spend time with his daughter. Because, it was her first winter break. Her throat closed up. "Castle, you should call Alexis," she said finally, adamantly. "She should be here. It's very sweet, but you should be with your daughter."

He was shaking his head, and she kind wanted to hit him. "Kate, I've been seeing Alexis all semester. She's only miles from home. And, she's got some major project for one of the labs that she's taking next semester, that they assigned over break. She wants to get a head start on it, so she's mostly busy. She told me last week when I asked her if she thought I should bring you."

He asked Alexis? He planned this entire thing with his daughter? That's… "Castle," she said quietly.

"I know," he said. "You don't really do this, but you should. We should, and I think this is the best way to kick things off."

Somehow, he got her moving within the thick of people again. It really was madness, even as he tried to work his way around the outer edge of it. He still had his arm around her, moving it up to her shoulders. It feels solid and strong, and even though it was not something she would usually do, not in public, anyway, she leaned into it. Let him guide her through.

She considered for a moment the idea of pulling out her badge to help them work their way through the people. But then she heard his voice in her ear. "Ah, here we go." And the next thing she knew, he was leading them up to a man in front of the security fence around the center staging area. He let go of her then, pulled the passes out from his coat pocket where he had returned them on their walk.

Within a matter of moments, they were being directed down through a gate into the first clear passage they had seen since their walk over from the hotel. Castle took her hand as they settled in to seats in the front of the VIP section. "Good way to start huh?" He gave her that little lopsided grin that she loved, that she couldn't even make a secret of loving anymore.

But, that was the second time he'd said something about a start, and she couldn't quite figure out what he meant by it. So she looked over at him and raised her eyebrow in question. "Start what?" she asked.

"First Christmas, Beckett," he said, a if it should have been so obvious, and maybe it should have been. It was true, after all. And for a moment Kate was speechless, not because she hadn't realized it, but because she expected the realization to come with panic. But it didn't. She smiled at him, and curled her fingers around his. He was right, this is going to be fun.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

She looked over at him, Smiling so you wouldn't be so nervous. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm good, actually. Really good. This was an amazing idea, Castle. Thank you."

He visibly relaxed and smiled. Then he leaned in to kiss her, and the "Always," she had known was coming was a breath against her lips.

For the next few hours, they watched the seemingly endless string of musical performers, the ice skaters - dazzling on the ice in a way that most who visit the rink could never hope to be - and of course, the Rockettes, whom Kate suddenly recalled she hadn't seen live since her parents took her to the Christmas show when she was 15. Mostly though, she watched Castle. He was every bit the kid in the candy store that she had expected. If she admitted to him that she loved to seeing this way, she knew she would never hear the end of it. But that didn't stop her from enjoying it in silence.

Still, when they stood at their seats amid the cheering crowd counting down to the moment when the tree was lit, she was amazed to find that she was the one buzzing with playful excitment. When Castle pulled her over to him in the last few seconds to wrap his arms around her from behind, she went willingly.

And when the lights came on, lighting the tree for the very first time, she was surprised to find that it was she who gasped with childish delight. "That was amazing," she breathed out, because she had no voice for more.

"Oh Kate," he said softly, his warm breath curling at her ear in the cold night. "Just wait and see. There is so much more."


	2. December 1: Snowflakes

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies

_For CB, who follows my lead, while still managing to point the way forward **and** clean up the messes in my wake. You amaze me. _

* * *

Day 2 - Snowflakes  
December 1, 2012

* * *

The Saturday that follows their evening at Rockefeller Center was supposed to be a day off, but she ended up picking up an afternoon shift, because they caught a new case that following morning, and had spent the last two days of November running everything down. Now it was just mostly sifting through what they had and waiting for more to come in.

But she wanted to stay out ahead of it if she possibly could. It's new to her, but she'd come her time out of the precinct ever since she and Castle have been together. She liked time with him. Which seemed crazy, because they spend so much of their time together as it was. But he was different alone with her. Hell, she was different alone with him. And she liked it. She liked who she was with him. Because she was herself in a way that she hadn't been in a very long time.

He went in with her, which surprised her a little. Castle generally wasn't one to go in the precinct if there wasn't something active to be done. Although, that wasn't always true anymore. She found that ever since the case with Tyson, he was more likely to want to stick close.

She would have thought it would bother her. She's fairly certain that in just about any other relationship that she had ever been in, that would be the case. But, with Castle – with Castle in a post 3XK world – it just felt different. She wanted him with her too.

He brought the new mini iPad again, turned his chair toward her and away from the murder board and started typing away. She let him.

A few hours later, she began to believe she could not stop him if she wanted to. It took her three or four times calling his name to get her partner's attention. When he looked up, she smiled. "You were really into it, huh?" She asked.

There was a long pause, as if he was genuinely trying to think over his answer. "I guess I was, it was all going pretty fast in my head. I think it might actually end up being something. But we'll see what happens when I look at it again in a couple of days, you know?"

Her immediate response was to say that she didn't quite get it, she didn't have his writer's mind. But then she gave it a moment of thought. In a way, she knew exactly what he meant. "I guess I do. It's like with the board. Sometimes you're just so close to it you can't see it. Truthfully, I think I'm about there now."

He leaned back in his chair for a moment and stretched. "You about ready to go?" He asked, but she could tell from the tone in his voice that he wasn't trying to rush her, nearly curious.

"Just about, I think. A few more notations to make in the paperwork. But I'm definitely getting there, and fast."

"I'll grab us some coffee before we go," he said and made his way to the break room.

When he returned, he was carrying both of their mugs carefully in one hand, something else wrapped in a napkin in his other hand. He set coffee down carefully along with the contents of the napkin.

"There was a lone cookie left in there, and it asked me to let you eat it."

She smirked at his choice of words, but shook her head. "You go ahead, I don't need it," she answered.

"You've had like three gummy bears since lunch."

She turned back to argue the point, but he wasn't giving in. She could see it in the set of his job and the expected look in his eyes. "Oh, all right, fine. But if you're really going to feed me, Castle, you're going to have to come up with something better than cookies."

"What's better than cookies?" He asked.

When she bit into the thing, she had to concede that it was actually a very good cookie. He definitely had a point. Damn. She looked over at him and figured she must've been telegraphing her pleasure in the treat, because he was grinning at her. She looked away, but she could still feel his eyes on her. She looked back. "What?"

"You have chocolate," he said, leaning forward to brush at the corner of her mouth with his thumb. "Right there."

She pulled back, Because yes had it been a relatively quiet Saturday, but they were still at work. Still in the middle of the precinct. "I can handle a napkin, Castle," she said. She tried to keep the bite out of her words, despite her desire to put some distance between them. Because the truth was all she wanted to do right now was kiss him.

From the look on his face, she thought he more than understood. She picked up the napkin he'd had the cookie wrapped in, and went to wipe any remaining chocolate face. But then she stopped. Because there was something written on the napkin.

She opened it curiously. It said snowflakes. She turned her attention back to her partner. She started to ask him what it meant, and then remembered the small single word note he had given her a few nights before on her way to Rockefeller Center. He was grinning from ear to ear now. Yeah, he wasn't going to tell her anything.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but it didn't quite have the effect it had on him in the past anymore. She worked her way through her cup of coffee, and made her last few notes. She noticed that he didn't go back to his writing. "You're just going to do the creepy staring until I give up and leave, aren't you?" she asked.

"Pretty much."

She rolled her eyes but didn't bother to hide the smile that went with it. She wanted out of here too, and she wondered what his newest note meant.

She grabbed her bag, and he helped her into her coat. She tried not to breathe when his fingers lingered as he pulled her hair gently out from the place where it had gotten stuck under her coat. "Behave," she murmured. They were nearly out of here anyway.

He did manage at least that much as they made their way out of the precinct, and even seemed to summon enough strength to make it a decent interval down the sidewalk before he reached out to tuck her fingers between his. She let him, because he had had to be unexpectedly distant on Saturday they had planned to spend together. If it wound him up half as much as it did her, she could more than understand what he was feeling. And knowing Castle, it had him even more wound up then it did her.

He suggested dinner at the little Italian place she loved a few blocks up, and she readily agreed. They were about halfway there when she noticed it. She stopped walking, and he made it a few steps ahead of her before he turned back to look.

"Kate?"

"It's snowing," she said quietly. She knew she must've sounded inane, but for just that one moment she had the impossible thought that he had ordered up this first light snow of winter in New York City with his note.

She watched as his eyes widened, and realized the thought must have just struck him as well. He looked about them a bit, a little stunned. Then he laughed. "Not what I had in mind," he said. "But I think I like this better, yeah, actually I think I like this a lot better." The way his eyes took her in made her blush.

So she looked around as well, tried to get her bearings a little bit. The snow was light, fairly fine. She knew already that it wouldn't stick. But still, she could tell that there were a few pieces clinging to her hair. The way they did to his. She grinned back at him.

He stepped closer to her. "You have snowflakes on your eyelashes," he said quietly.

An unexpected giggle worked its way up from her throat, "Great," she said, "Suddenly my life is a Rodgers and Hammerstein musical."

He smiled, but there was something stilted about it. And then she realized, that it was only half smile, and half a grimace. She wondered at that for only a moment before she realized with a startled laugh that he was in fact Richard Rodgers. She covered her mouth with her hand, when she saw him narrow his eyes in disapproval. It wasn't a terribly bad impression of herself, she realized.

"Not funny Beckett. Do you have any idea how much ribbing a kid takes for that? Especially when his mother makes a living in musicals?"

He didn't say it, but she heard it anyway. The kid who didn't even know who his father was. Yeah, some of that ribbing was probably ugly, actually.

She reached out to reclaim his hand, and leaned into his side a little bit with her body. Guilt washed over her for having cast a shadow on their unexpectedly snowy evening.

"Taste the snow," he said, his voice coming so suddenly that she startled.

"What?" She asked, incredulously.

"Taste the snow," he insisted again.

She blinked. "It's frozen water, Castle, it doesn't taste like anything."

"Not the point, Beckett. You know that." There was something in his voice that still wasn't quite right. But still.

"Castle, this is New York City, it's probably dirty."

He snorted. Actually snorted at her. "It's falling out of the sky, Kate. I'm not saying lick it off the sidewalk."

That did make her laugh, because really, the very vivid image of that particular alternative was both hilarious and repulsive at the same time. He glared at her, but it had no real bite. Then again, it wasn't his normal playful demeanor either. Not entirely. "You don't have to be such a little kid, you know," she said, challenge in her voice.

"Or you could start," he grumbled. There was more hurt there then she intended to engender. So, on a sudden whim, she stuck her tongue out at him. And a small snowflake landed on the tip of it. She startled back with a laugh, and covered her mouth with both hands in surprise.

Castle threw back his head and laughed. Oh. Well, that was better. That was her Castle. So, she did the only thing she could think of to help this along. Exactly what he had asked her to do.

She tipped her head back, mouth open, and spun around once. It occurred to her that too if you passersby on the sidewalk, she might very well have looked ridiculous. Or at least like a grown-up imitation of the young short haired girl in a puffy jacket she had once been. The one he had seen years ago in the photograph and called adorable. She stopped, her cheeks red with cold and laughter both, and canted forward, just a little unsteady on her heels.

He reached out and caught her, pulling her in close. She let herself fall against him, relieved to find him still laughing. All smiles and shining eyes and just Castle. She hugged him back.

"I love you," he said into her hair. The flavor of the words still all joy, if tinged with a little relief. She looked back at him and the words caught in her throat. She wanted to say them, mean them. Truly, truly meant them. And maybe that was part of the problem. Because she could feel the meaning so much, it mattered so much that it completely overwhelmed her most the time.

But she could tell, just looking at him, that it showed. She could feel it, leaking out of her. From her eyes, sometimes it felt like it came from just about everywhere once. She smiled, hoping he could see the words there, and he smiled back, brushing her hair back from her face.

"Come on," he said after a long moment. "Let's get food into you." He took her hand again, and resumed their walk toward the restaurant. For once, she simply followed him. Content to let him be the one to lead the way forward.


	3. December 2: Hide and Seek

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies

Also: Sneezy is real. Fun fact. Carry on.

_For CB...YOU'RE IT!_

* * *

Day 3: Hide and Seek  
December 2, 2012

* * *

She woke up on Sunday morning to the sun filtering through her blinds and Castle pressed against her back. His body felt warm against hers, even in the slight chill of her apartment. They had ended up at her place last night because it was closer, and she hadn't wanted to bother to call for a car.

She maneuvered a bit, trying to get closer, if only for warmth. "Early," he mumbled behind her, as if afraid she might suddenly reverse course and get out of bed. Instead she turned in his arms so that she could face him.

"It isn't really," she answered softly. "We kinda slept in." Not that she minded, even if she usually was an early riser. Having to go in yesterday had thrown off her rhythm.

His eyes blinked open, and she smiled. His eyes were still clouded with sleep, and she knew he wasn't really with her yet, but she loved that he was trying.

"You gonna control some more weather today?" She teased gently, just to see how he would react.

"Got lucky. Was going to see slideshow on the Saks building, snow looked better on you." then his eyes had slipped shut again, and she laughed a little.

"You're cute when you're half asleep."

"Mm...always," he mumbled.

She knew what he meant, but even so it made something in her stomach flip. Just that one word. It had for a long time, and she suspected that it probably always would. She hoped so.

"Yeah," she answered. "Go back to sleep, okay?"

"'K...stay," he said as his fingers curled loosely around her arm.

* * *

The next time she woke up, it was to the sound of a bang coming from her kitchen. There was an open space where he had been, what, an hour ago? "Castle?"

The delay in his answer was only a couple of seconds long, But it was enough to get her sitting upright in concern. But then she caught sight of him coming around the corner of her doorway, coffee in hand.

"Sorry, brought you this. Thought I could get back before you woke up. You kind of slept in there."

She stretched and excepted the mug from him. "Actually, we both did. But I think we pretty much established that already."

He set down beside her, but from look on his face she could tell he was confused. "We did?"

She nodded. "Uh-huh. When we woke up earlier, but you went back to sleep on me pretty quick. Guess I followed you, but I don't remember a lot after you told me that the snowflakes looked better on me than the side of the Saks Fifth Avenue building." She smirked and he shrugged.

"Well they do." He paused for a beat, "I really said that?" He asked. "Man, I was out of it."

"Just a little bit," she replied. "Was a little cute, actually." She sifted her coffee thoughtfully for a moment, and then asked "so what has you up and out so abruptly this morning? When I so much as moved, you wouldn't even think of letting me out of bed."

"Hey can you blame me?" He asked with a grin. "Actually, I didn't realize how late it was. And I have a few small plans for the day. That is, if you'll come along of course?" He raised an eyebrow and her general direction.

Actually, she hadn't given much thought at all to what she would be doing today, except that she had been hoping to spend the bulk of it with him doing something other than casework. So, if he had in mind some sort of plan, she was more than willing to go along with it.

"Sure, what did you have in mind?"

"It turns out, I still need a Christmas tree. And really, I think you find it that's unlike me. I usually have my tree up the day after Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, Alexis was rather tied up with school at the time and we were knee-deep in cases. So I've been waiting for an opportunity when everyone was free. I checked with Alexis, and she can meet us at the loft in about an hour and a half."

She tried to get her mind clear fast enough to do some quick thinking. It wasn't that she didn't want to go with him. She did. But once again, she was wondering if perhaps his time wouldn't be better spent with his daughter. "Castle, are you sure that Alexis wouldn't rather that I wasn't along?" She said, trying to be as tactful as she possibly could under the circumstances.

He shifted away from her on the bed and sit up. She could hear the frustration clearly in his voice. "Kate, we've been through this. I know I screwed up early on just before Alexis moved out. But I was wrong, it isn't that she hates you Kate. She doesn't even dislike you. Far from it really. In fact, when we went away for that weekend it was Alexis who was suggesting that I had better make the most romantic plans possible. She was in full matchmaker mode, she and Mother both. It was a little creepy to be honest."

She had to admit that was a surprise. She had known for a while that his daughter far from from hated her, but still, she had to admit that her relationship with Alexis was not what it had been in those first few years, even though Kate's connection to her family had been far more distant. It's still made her a little nervous, but honestly at the moment that wasn't her point.

"I know that. That's not my point. I just think, maybe something like this is more of a father-daughter event. More of private family time?"

He looked at her in silence for such a long moment that Kate found herself becoming a little bit nervous. "CastleÖ" She tried. He said nothing in response, simply put down his coffee cup on the bedside table and sat back down next to her, turning to face her fully.

"Kate," he said speaking her name even more softly and she had spoken his moment ago. She looked down at her hands, and said nothing.

Reaching out, he tipped her chin up with his fingers forcing her to look at him. She had the childish thought that she should close her eyes, but she didn't. "Look at me for a second, okay?"

"I am," she said stubbornly. He didn't laugh, and he didn't react. He wasn't going to make it easy for her to wash this away with a joke. Instead, he stared at her for another long moment until she had the irresistible urge to fidget again. She forced it down ruthlessly and waited.

"Kate, I know that I'm probably pushing things with this conversation. And I don't mean to, honestly. I know there are a lot of things we are not ready for yet, but that doesn't mean I don't want them. It doesn't mean that it's not in the back of my mind every day, something I'm working toward. Yes, we've only been in this relationship for a handful of months. I know that. But that doesn't mean that this is some casual thing. That doesn't mean I don't have a goal here. As far as I'm concerned, you are a part of our family. Maybe not in an official, concrete way. But you are. Yes, this is family time, and I want you there. We all do."

She tried desperately not look away, not to give in to the slightly panicked edge emotions. It wasn't that she wanted to run, honestly she was past that. But still there was something about the implication of all that he had said. It wasn't new information, not really. She isn't that kind of girl, and he knows that. Knows her well enough to realize it. She didn't get into this thinking it was a casual fling. If that was what she had wanted, hell if that's what either one of them wanted, they could've done that a long time ago. But still, the idea of being something like family with his daughter, that was big.

It was big, but she wanted it. So she brought herself under control and smiled. "I know that," she said. "I do, Castle. I understand, and I promise you that we are on the same page. It just, still overwhelms me sometimes, you know?"

He reached out across the small distance between them and pulled her into a hug. "It scares the hell out of me too, Kate. But that's only because I know it matters. And that doesn't mean that I don't want it."

He's right. He is. Because that was the very thing that terrified her so much. Wanting this with him so badly, that it meant she had to fear losing it. The trouble was that knowing that made her want it all the more. She wasn't used to that. "I know," she said finally. Then she took a deep breath, and pulled back.

"I know. So let's get a move on Castle, we have a Christmas tree to find. And I don't want to be the one to keep Alexis waiting."

* * *

An hour later, when they arrived at the loft, the young redhead was already waiting for them. Kate bit down hard on the inside of her lip, and hoped that her father hadn't gotten the time wrong.

"Alexis," she greeted the young girl after watching the two Castle's hug one another. "I hope we didn't keep you waiting too long?" She asked, trying to keep the real concern out of her voice.

"Oh no," The girl said brightly, "actually I just had some extra laundry, and figured I'd get here early and get it out of the way. Dad said you guys wouldn't be here for a little while yet. So I figured that gave me some time."

Kate swallowed down the relieved breath that wanted out, and hoped that her uneasiness didn't show too much. "Well, that's good," she said in a voice that sounded lame even to her own ears.

But Alexis smiled. "No worries, I knew enough to clear my day for this." She waved what looked to Kate like a dark gray credit card in the air. "Plus, I rented Sneezy for the whole day, so I have time."

Kate tried to swallow a laugh but failed. "Sneezy?" She asked.

Alexis grinned. "Yeah, he's a zipcar. They had pretty great rates for students, so I signed up on campus. I didn't think it was a good idea to take one of the cars for this - too small - so I figured what the heck? We'll just have to make sure we use blankets to protect the top.

"Anyway, Sneezy lives in a garage about a mile and a half from campus, and it wasn't all that much more to rent him for the whole day instead of by the hour so I figured that was better than having to take him back in the dark, right?" Alexis raised eyebrow at her father.

"Seems logical enough to me," Castle said with a grin. "Sneezy? Really?"

Kate realized that Alexis wore a grin that was nearly identical to her father's. She couldn't help smiling herself.

"I know right?" The girl asked in response. "I mean, Sylvester was a little closer, but I just couldn't resist the opportunity."

Kate chuckled to herself at the way the girl personified something as mundane as a car rental. Oh, she was definitely Richard Castle's daughter, despite her more common display of her mature side.

"Is all that necessary just pick up the Christmas tree?" she asked. "Or are we, in your father's typical fashion, planning on hitting every stand in Manhattan?"

Alexis's jaw dropped. "Dad! You kidnapped her for this operation, and you didn't even tell her?"

Kate turned her eyes to Castle, and he looked down sheepishly. "I... Well, I was going to. I didn't really think it was that big of a deal. It isn't that far."

"What?" Kate asked.

"Dad doesn't generally get our tree from the city stands. We usually go to a place on Long Island, about an hour away. The same place where he likes to go for the pumpkins for jack-o'-lanterns." Alexis supplied.

Castle jumped in before Kate could respond. "Oh come on, it's an actual Christmas tree farm. They have cut ones, or you can walk through and actually pick one and they cut it for you. It's about the experience, Beckett."

She shook her head a little at the tone in his voice, like a small child attempting to convince his mother that the latest toy he just had to have was really, truly, honestly worth it. "I know what a Christmas tree farm is, Castle, and it sounds like fun."

They were just gathering up a few last things when Martha arrived home, and Alexis talked the older women into joining them. Kate noticed that Castle was even more surprised at this particular turn of events than she herself was, because this didn't exactly seem like Martha's cup of tea.

"Anything for a bit of extra time with my granddaughter," the actress insisted with a dramatic sigh. Kate grinned, there was just something about Martha's antics that she always found infectious.

The four of them piled into "Sneezy" as Alexis explained the rental car's naming scheme to her grandmother, and Castle marveled over his daughter's ability to unlock the vehicle from her iPhone. She had a sneaking suspicion he'd be getting himself a membership on that basis alone.

Alexis settled herself into the driver seat without so much as a glance at her father, and Martha looked from Kate to Castle and back again. "Why don't you two kids make yourself comfortable in the backseat, and I'll chat upfront with Alexis." With that, the older woman climbed into the front, without waiting for a reply.

"Sure, Mother," Castle groused under his breath.

Kate give him a small tug by the hand toward the vehicles rear doors and smiled. "Oh come on, you're just mad because you're still not going to drive."

She made her way around the other side of the vehicle, enjoying them inside. Then she leaned over and whispered in his ear, "besides, Castle, It's all about the experience, after all."

* * *

The moment they stepped out of the vehicle at the farm, Kate had to admit she could see the appeal of Castle's idea. The place beat every Manhattan stall by miles when it came to charm.

He came up behind her as she retrieved her gloves from the inside of the car, and shut the door. "So, good idea, yeah?"

She turned to him with a smile, "Yeah, Castle. Good idea."

Caste greeted the farm's owner like an old friend, Telling him about his latest jack-o'-lantern creations from this past Halloween. He pulled out his phone, and she had no doubt he was showing off pictures of his creations.

Then they were directed back towards an area of the farm where the owner was certain Castle would find just the "monster" he was looking for. Kate didn't even bother to roll her eyes at that. Of course, he would be looking for the biggest tree he could get. She knew better than to expect anything else.

As they made their way quickly to the appropriate section, Kate took a moment to pull on her gloves. She frowned. There was something stuck inside her right glove. She reached in with her fingers and tried to pull out the offending article, but it was balled up, and kept trying to jam itself into one of the fingers.

With a sigh of frustration, she turned the glove inside out, only to have a tightly balled up piece of paper fall into to her hand. She stared at it a moment, then looked up searching for Castle. But he and Alexis and Martha kept walking, and were now several feet ahead of her. She transferred the ball of paper to her other hand and pulled on her glove.

She used quick strides to catch up with the rest of them, unwrapping the paper as she went. Just before she reached the group, she looked down at the paper in her hand. It read: Hide & Seek.

When she reached him, Castle glanced over her, then down to the paper in her hands and back up at her again. He smiled. Little boy, she thought, but the thought warmed her more than the gloves had.

They moved through the area, and Castle quickly settled on two possibilities. They were both exceedingly large, to Kate's way of thinking. But they would both fit in his loft at least. When Kate wondered aloud how they would ever get either tree up to his loft, Castle quickly informed her that he had made plans – as he apparently usually did – to have the doorman's nephew and a friend drop by to help carry the tree. The young men had been doing it for number of years for several families in the building, as a means of earning extra holiday money.

Kate surveyed the two potential trees again. "They're going to love you," she said dryly.

"Oh don't worry, they usually do."

That earned him an eye roll, but it was less satisfying than she would've hoped for because she suspected he had been trying for it. So instead, she grabbed him by the hand and led him several yards away, leaving Alexis and Martha to debate the relative merits of each potential tree among themselves.

When she felt she had put sufficient distance between them and his family, she turned in among the trees and spun around so that he was between her and the trunk of a tree. Then she kissed him.

When she broke away, slightly breathless, she leaned up and whispered in his ear, "You're it!" Then, taking advantage of both his momentary surprise and her relative advantage in speed, she darted off running.

"Kate! That's cheating!" His voice came from far enough behind her that she knew she'd gotten a decent lead.

"Deal with it!" She called, without turning around.

She darted in and out between the trees, looking for the perfect place to slip in and hide. As she had suspected the night before, there hadn't yet been enough snow for any to stick, so she didn't have a sound advantage on him unless he was more careless than she anticipated. He might not have her training, but she knew that he had played endless hours of laser tag battles in his loft with his daughter. So, that had to be worth something.

She moved slowly, carefully. Always cautious. Sure, this was only a game but that didn't mean she had to be sloppy about it. It was several minutes before she caught on to his location and got her bearings. Once she knew that he was making his way toward her from behind and to the left, she made a sharp sudden turn right in order to weave her way further into the trees. And she came suddenly face-to-face with Alexis.

Kate jumped slightly, and had to bite down on her lip to avoid letting out a startled cry. Crap. She'd not had a teenager get the drop on her since she was a rookie. She braced herself for the girl to call out to her father.

But instead, the redhead held up a finger to her lips and smiled. Then she gestured in a circle to the area behind her, indicating, Kate realized, that she should work her way around behind Castle, and get the drop on him instead, turning the game into a kind of Tag hybrid.

Kate grinned back and nodded once, then took off in the direction the girl and indicated. Faintly, she could hear Alexis behind her moving in the direction that Kate had come from, making a series of small, and the detective could only assume, deliberate, noises as she went. She was acting as a decoy, Kate realized.

By the time Kate could see her target in front of her in the form of Castle's familiar dark brown jacket, she was just making the turn around a nearby tree to make a grab for her.

Just as he let out a startled "Alexis?!" Kate tapped him on the shoulder. "Got you," she called out, triumphant and laughing.

Castle whipped around, looking from her to his daughter and back again. His mouth dropped open. "You set me up," he demanded, his voice incredulous. "My own daughterÖ"

Alexis shrugged, "Sorry dad," The girl offered, not sounding the least bit sorry to Kate's ears. "Girl power." Then she reached around her father to offer Kate a high-five which the older woman returned with a smile.

"Thanks Alexis, couldn't have done it without you."

"Corrupting my own daughter," Castle grumbled as Alexis turned and ran back toward where they had started. Looking for her grandmother, Kate assumed.

"All in the name of fun, you know. Besides, it was your game to start with. Don't get too bent out of shape."

She was surprised when he turned to her with a soft smile. "Oh, I'm not. I'm just not used to her teaming up on me." He reached out and grabbed her hand. "Then again, I don't think she's ever really had anyone to team up with, other than me."

Kate looked over at him in surprise. He shrugged in response. "It isn't exactly Mother's speed, you know? And Meredith was gone almost before she could walk."

He sighed, And there was an expression on his face that she couldn't quite read. "And even now that I'm almost certain that the major reason I married Gina was so that she would have a woman around, I wasn't exactly encouraging about a relationship between the two of them. And even if I had been, she would have been far more likely to tell me to grow up then to get involved in the game. Even for Alexis.

Kate felt a sudden rush of defensiveness over her partner and his daughter. She might be among the first to decry Castle's childish ways at times, but she also loved them. In the right place. And she couldn't think of any better place than playing with his kid. Even his grown-up kid.

"Anyway," Castle said quietly. "Thanks. I didn't mean for this to be about...just thanks. For coming along, for today. For always being good for my kid, even when she doesn't know it."

Kate's words wouldn't come. She didn't even know what to say. Yes, she'd been known to give him advice now and then. She liked Alexis, always had. She'd just never realized the impact that had apparently had on her partner.

She opened her mouth to say - something - and Alexis's voice broke in as she ran back to them. "Dad! I can't find Gram, and she's not answering her phone. It's weird."

Kate didn't discuss it, didn't do anything but make a turn around to take in the roughly rectangular area of the tree field. "Castle, take that end and come up the rows, I'll go down from this end. Alexis, cut across." She swung fully into cop mode out of sheer habit. Neither of them questioned it.

When they met up 20 minutes later and no one had seen Martha, Kate decided to check the car. She told Castle and Alexis to go claim their tree. She wasn't really worried just yet, but it would be better for them all to be ready to go if need be. Just in case.

She finds Martha sitting in the front passenger seat, her phone in reach. "Martha? What are you doing out here? We've been looking, and calling your phone?" She was a little stunned honestly.

Martha turned to her with a look that was somehow both smugly pleased and innocently confused. "Why Kate darling," the actress asked, "isn't this home base?"

Beckett stared at Castle's mother for a moment. Then she threw her head back and laughed.


	4. December 3: Letters

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies

WE ARE AU AS OF 5x09, as most of his story was written in November.

_For CB, I'd get you a present, no matter what._

* * *

Day 4: Letters  
December 3, 2012

* * *

Yesterday at the tree farm had been more fun than Kate had expected. More and more, she found herself enjoying her time not just with Castle, but with his family as well. And Castle's words about her influence on Alexis were still resonating in her mind for the rest of the day, and well into that next morning.

Which was which was all the more reason why it was so surprising when Castle called to say that he wasn't coming in on Monday morning unless they caught a case. Sure, that have been there standard operating procedure for very long time. But lately, he had been coming in even when they didn't have an active investigation. He said he wanted to write, and Kate understood that, in theory.

But she was just starting to become comfortable with and genuinely enjoy the fact that her partner had begun openly sharing his work time with her as well. She wondered, for more time then she probably should have on this particular morning, what it was that had brought about the sudden reversion back to old patterns.

It wasn't that she didn't trust him, far from it. She had learned her lesson in that regard back when Jerry Tyson had used that kind of potential distrust against them. It had not worked then, and she wasn't about to start letting that happen now.

She trusted Castle implicitly. No, what she was most worried about was the idea that he wasn't as comfortable sharing his life as she had thought he was becoming. It was ironic, really. Usually she was the one who closed up tight, and looked for time off to herself. Usually she was the one who was complaining about Castle seeming too clingy. Now that the opposing dynamic seems to be in play, she found that she was not at all happy about it. It made her more uneasy than she would've expected.

She spent most the morning trying to shake that off, trying to ignore the fact that for the first time in a long time, the precinct seemed too quiet, and too lonely, despite its busy, constant motion.

She was coming back from an irritating fight with the espresso machine in the break room, when she saw something propped up against her usual parade of elephants on her desk. A bright pink sticky note, it couldn't be missed.

Glancing around the bullpen, trying to see where the note could've come from she found her heart rate pick up just a little bit. Had Castle come in after all? But her quick survey turned up nothing, she didn't see him there anywhere, and her hope quickly faded.

She sat at her desk and picked up the brightly colored note. Letters? What did that mean. She said it down and looked around again confusion. This was clearly one of Castle's cryptic notes. But, he also wasn't here.

"Espo," she called, catching the detective as he walked by, "Have you seen Castle today at all?"

The other detective stopped at her desk, And shook his head. "No, but I figured you'd be up on that sort of thing by now, Beckett?"

"Shut up," she said dryly.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembered that day when she had come out of interrogation to find the Castle had come and gone. It'd touched off so much of the later difficulty in their relationship, had started everything going wrong and nearly falling apart.

She cringed, hoping that Esposito wouldn't notice. Even after all this time, and after all that they'd come through, thinking about that time their relationship still hurt. But there wasn't anything now that would create that sort of a problem. Hell, she'd been in the break room getting coffee. And they had no major secrets anymore.

Did they? She didn't think so, But then again, if you had asked her yesterday she would have presumed that they were beyond the point where Castle felt the need to distance himself from her in order to work. She thought they were using that to build on to their relationship. Now she didn't know what to think.

But if he hadn't been here, and how did the note get here? She turned the small scrap paper over in her hands again. She looked down at it, and then back to Esposito. "You didn't leave me this note, did you?" She asked finally, even though she knew that it probably would have been impossible, since he had just come back in the bullpen himself.

"Wasn't me, maybe one of the uniforms or –"

Ryan. Kate realized it suddenly, wondered if her partner had called the younger man and asked him to make the delivery. But when she turned to look at Ryan, all she saw was his retreating back as he went through the elevator door.

She was too late to expect any answers from that avenue, she decided, even as she wondered whether Ryan was deliberately avoiding her for just that reason. Whether it was or it wasn't, she was clearly going to have to find some other way to get some answers. Since she wasn't likely to get anywhere else with work tonight, she grabbed her things and headed out the way that Ryan had gone a few moments earlier.

As soon as she had signal outside of the elevator, she started to text Castle to let him know she was on her way to his place. At the last moment though, she hesitated. He had asked for space. What if he didn't want to see her tonight?

The thought made her throat close up a little, but she wasn't about to just let it go without even asking. A year ago she might've done that. But they were working toward something, or at least she thought they were. So she won't be the one to back down without a fight.

She grit her teeth and sent the text, but she couldn't stop herself from ending the statement with an uncertain question. Dammit. She hailed the cab and got in without waiting for an answer, because she'd already told him she was on her way. But as the cabbie pulled out into traffic, she couldn't help holding the phone in her lap and staring at it as she waited for his reply.

When it finally came, she could almost hear the confusion in his voice as she read it. She closed her eyes and swallowed. He'd made her dinner. He'd been expecting her. All right, well he'd given her the note, so of course he was going to expect her. So then, why did she feel like he had spent the entire day dismissing her?

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she could hear her inner voice telling her that she was being ridiculous. But she couldn't help it, for some reason it felt as if he had suddenly slammed on the brakes and was taking a giant step backwards and away from her. And she didn't know why. She only knew that if she were suddenly behaving the way he was, it wouldn't be a good thing. At all.

It felt far too much like last spring for her comfort. Or worse yet, it felt, she suddenly realized, like he must have felt the summer before. The thought made her stomach clenche and she felt sick. But there had been reasons then, reasons for both of their actions. And maybe it hadn't been the right thing to do in either case, but at least it had made some sort of sense. All this did was tie her in terrified knots.

She shot him off a quick message telling him that she was on her way, that she was fine. Because now he was worried about her. And that should make her feel better, but somehow it didn't.

When the phone beeped again she picked it up listlessly. She read it once and then again. "I love you." It undid her.

When she got to his building, the doorman didn't even bat an eyelash. She stepped right through to the elevator as if she were a resident herself. After these last several months, she very nearly was as far as he was concerned, she imagined.

It occurred to her that there was a time that even considering such a thing would have terrified her completely. For right now she was so preoccupied with the emotions of this past day, she couldn't even process how automatic and domestic her thoughts were toward his home. How easily she was finding it to think of it as home herself.

It was something of a paradox at the moment, because she wanted more than anything to be able to simply walk up to the door, turn the key in the lock and enter. Like home. But today, that simply felt wrong. So when the elevator stopped and she made her way outside his door, She didn't pull out her key. She knocked instead.

It was only when he came to the door that she realized what an awkward scene she had inadvertently created. After all, seeing him on the other side of the door looking grim reminded her of the night she had first sought him out in a storm.

He stood only a few feet from her, eyes wide in shock. "Kate? Why didn't you let yourself in? Did you forget your key?"

She swallowed a little, not sure exactly how to answer him. All of this it seemed like the right thing to do at the time when she was thinking about it in the cab, but now she didn't know what to think. Honestly, she hadn't known what to think for a while. Not when he was the subject.

Suddenly, Castle stepped aside in the doorway. "I'm sorry, please come in."

"Thank you," she said, mostly because she wasn't sure what else to say. She moved around quickly, hanging up her coat in the closet and then unclipping her badge and unholsering her gun and setting them on the side table.

Then, taking a deep breath she finally turned around to face him, nervously dragging her hands through her hair as if the motion would somehow help her to find the right words. "I didn't forget the key… I just… I don't know…"

The truth was, at least in a way, she did know. Somehow, his decision to stay away from the precinct today had left her with the feeling that there was this sudden distance between them. And then suddenly she hadn't felt comfortable just letting herself into his home. Which was strange and wrong unto itself, because she had felt no qualms about letting herself in ever since he had given her the key.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, and she wasn't sure whether to flinch away or lean in when he reached out and rubbed her shoulders. She wanted to do both at the moment, honestly. "I've had a feeling that something's not right today. Wanna talk about it?"

No. Not especially. Not at all, actually. But she knew that they would have to. They really should, since they're so good at not talking so much of the time. They had been doing better at that, they should get back to it. But she didn't know where to start. So instead of saying what she should and getting it over with, she played for time.

"Maybe in a minute... It's been a long day, and I'm really hungry." Lame. It was lame, and stupid. But she didn't know what else to say, so she swallowed and went with it.

He smiled at her, and took her hand. And this time, she didn't want to pull away. Because his hand felt warm and good in hers, and he was smiling and being sweet. This didn't feel like distance anymore. The whole thing is confusing her. She still didn't know what was going on with them, but she could at least find out now.

"Then follow me," he said. "Your pasta carbonara awaits." She smiled back at him for that, because it was sweet of him to go to the trouble of making her dinner, and she was in a mood, and he probably didn't even know why. Plus, he had made his pasta carbonara for her once before and it was awesome. She wasn't the only one in this relationship who could cook, apparently.

He asked her how her day went as he pulled out her chair, in total chivalry mode. And it was still sweet, it was still personal. But just the question reminded her that he wasn't there all day. So she shrugged it off and reached for the salad. "It was okay, just work you know?" And he does know, because for more than four years now, Castle has been a near daily part of her work life.

She asked him if he got any writing done, and hated the sound of her own voice even as she said it. Damn. She really needed to get it together today.

"I wrote three chapters," he said as he plated his food. "But it was lonely. I should've gone in with you today."

She wanted to try to hold it back, she honestly did. But she couldn't. "Then why didn't you?" She asked. And even she could hear it all there right in her own voice. The anger, frustration, the hurt.

When he looked up abruptly, she could see the same kind of hurt and confusion in his eyes that she had been feeling herself all day. It made her pause just a little, but she didn't know what to say so she just put her fork down and looked down at her hands as she twisted them in her lap.

She heard his fork clatter to his plate, and then his hand came to rest on her shoulder. "Kate," he started, but she didn't look up. His fingers squeezed into her shoulder just a little bit. "Kate."

This time she gave in and looked up. "I'm sorry," she said at the same time the words left his mouth as well. They both smiled. She heard him take a deep breath, and knew that it was the start of his effort to find the right words. So she let him go first.

"Kate, honestly it didn't occur to me that it would bother you that I stayed home to write. It isn't like it's the first time, it's not even the first time since we've been together. I just thought if I got at it and stayed at it, I could get ahead of my deadline, and have more time to spend with you. Honestly, I wasn't trying to avoid you if that's what you're thinking. Or, if this is about when Tyson –"

"No!" She cut him off immediately. Because, yes maybe it had been a little bit about the first thing, but she didn't want him to think for a moment that she doubted he'd been at home doing exactly what he said he would be doing. She didn't want him to think she doubted him. Not like that. Not after everything it had put them through. "I know that you were home because you had work to do, Castle. I just…"

She sighed, and looked away. She had to find some way to put this that didn't make her sound completely pathetic. Or like she was judging him, because she wasn't. Maybe she had been, just a little, in the beginning. But hearing his explanation, that he was trying to find more time to spend with her, made her stomach twist with guilt. No, she had to do this right.

So she pulled herself together and turned back to him. "I've gotten used to having you there with me Castle. I know you have work to do, but I also know that you have been doing a fair amount of writing at the precinct lately. And, I kind of liked it. Even though I can't really be involved with your work, the way you are with mine, when you're sitting there writing, and I'm doing paperwork it's just – feels like we're doing it together?" She ended the statement with a question, because she was not even sure if she had articulated this properly at all.

She looked up at him, hopeful that he would understand her meaning. When she saw the recognition in his eyes, she relaxed. "I know that probably sounds clingy, and hypocritical coming for me because I'm usually the one asking for space, but –"

"But I'm there at your job all the time, I just sort of pushed my way into it and now it's what we do together. And I'll admit, it never occurred to me that might seem a bit one sided. Or, that it would matter to you so much. I kind of figured I was more likely to be in your way."

She shrugged. "Honestly, I didn't know it was gonna bother me either, you not being there, until you weren't there. I mean we didn't talk about it, but I noticed a few days ago that you were doing some writing, or I assumed that was what it was, and it felt better than I expected. Like you were comfortable doing that around me."

God, the more she said this, the more she even thought about it, the stupider it sounds. And yet, this was what had been bothering her all day. Maybe it shouldn't have been, but it was. And he had a right to hear the truth from her, after all.

"Kate, first of all, you do more for my writing than you can ever imagine. Seriously. I know it sounds cliche, I know we joke around about it a lot, but it's true. You make me want it. And because I know you'll read it, you make me want to be better at it. But second of all, and this is important, I want you to know that I'm always comfortable sharing my life with you. And I would always rather be with you, than not.

I just, I have a little bit of a project for us tonight, and I wanted to make dinner so I thought it would be better if I stayed out of your hair, and just focused in and got it done. If I had known it would upset you, I wouldn't have, I promise."

She could feel the blush sleeping over her skin. "It's okay Castle, it was stupid really. I don't even know why I –"

"It's not stupid, it's how you felt. And you're allowed, but I'm going to need you to tell me from now on, okay? Because despite my awesome Jedi-like powers, sometimes my mind reading skills can be a little rusty, and I'd rather be sure to know how you feel than not."

She laughed, and picked up her fork again. Because his pasta carbonara really was amazing. Then she turned to him and smiled. "I can do that," she said.

It wasn't until he had begun to clear up the dishes from dinner that Kate remembered about the mysterious note in her pocket. And the little comments about a project. Once they finished, she turned to her partner and asked, "Mind if I ask you two questions?"

Castle turned to her with a grin. "Of course not," he said.

"Okay, first question: what did you say to Ryan to get him to give me your note? And second question: What in the world does it mean?"

For a moment, Castle seemed to struggle with his ability to speak. "Ryan told you?" He asked.

Okay, she hadn't realized he was trying to keep this some sort of a secret. "No, he didn't exactly tell me, directly. Or, at all, really. But it wasn't you, or Espo, and it for sure wasn't Gates, and then after that Ryan was pretty much going out of his way to avoid me, so…"

Castle chuckled, and that fact made her grin. "Sometimes I forget that you are in fact an excellent detective," he said with a smile that made him look like he was no more than ten years old.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well you're going to have to stop doing that." But they were in a much better place than she had been feeling like all day, so she let it go, finish the cleanup and let him lead her over to the couch. "But you still haven't answered the rest of my question. What does that mean? Letters?"

He nodded gleefully. Too gleefully, to her way of thinking. "Sure, letters. You know, to Santa Claus."

Her mouth opened but no sound came out. She turned, looked at him and stared. "Excuse me?" She finally asked. "Letters to Santa Claus? You want to write letters to Santa Claus?"

That big dopey little boy face was back, and he was nodding emphatically. Okay, she knew we could be childish sometimes but this was kind of ridiculous. Letters to Santa Claus?

After a few moments, he looked over at her and seemed to get it. She thought he was crazy, and he just noticed it. "Oh come Beckett, I know you are a skeptic's best friend, and I know you think I'm being silly. But I also know that you believe in fantasy, in reaching for the impossible, and not giving in to limits. Plus, it's for a fantastic cause, so that's like a giant double win, right?"

She opened her mouth and then closed it again. She couldn't believe she was even considering the possibility of this. But, as ridiculous as it was she couldn't refute the things that he'd said. And she was curious about the idea that this was for a good cause. But still, it was a letter to Santa Claus. "And how exactly is writing a wish list to Santa Claus representative of any of those things? I mean isn't the whole thing just basically materialistic? Little kids asking for a bicycle?"

Now he was the one shaking his head in disbelief. "Come on Kate, see the big picture here. Little kids ask for bicycles because it's the biggest potentially achievable dream they can think of. There must be things you wish for. It doesn't even have to be tangible things, just the sort of thing you want to put down and get out there in the universe."

She bit down on her lip and looked him over. The entire thing still seems mostly ridiculous. But it couldn't exactly hurt anything. And it occurred to her right then that he was asking her to sit down and write with him.

And it was that, more than anything, that was impacting her thinking. Because all day, she had wanted him there next to her weaving his fantasies on paper. And now, he was asking her to be a part of this with him. And he had planned this. He had planned this in advance, before all of her awkward, needy insecurity had put in the idea of such an activity in a new light for both of them. "Okay, talk to me about this. What does this have to do with a good cause?"

His entire face lit up, made it impossible for her not to smile back with an equal sense of excitement. "I'm so glad you asked that," he said happily. "Alexis used to write letters to Santa Claus with me for years. I started doing it with her, just to get her interested. But after a while she went through a phase where she didn't want to do it anymore. Then, about five years ago, they started doing this thing at Macy's. They put these big old-fashioned mailboxes outside the stores."

She nodded, listening. She'd seen a couple of those herself, while she was doing her holiday shopping. She hadn't really thought about it, or even looked into it. But, she knew what he was talking about when he mentioned the big bright red mailboxes.

"Anyway, for every letter that gets dropped off in their mailbox up to the first million, they donate a dollar to the Make-A-Wish foundation. So you get the personal satisfaction putting a bunch of positive energy out there in the world at one of the most magical times a year, plus you get to make wishes come true for sick little kids. It even got Alexis writing her letters again."

He held up an envelope and she could make out red and white striping around the edge. "She even dropped one off this morning, made me think of the whole project. Realized I wanted to write mine with you this year."

Before she could give it any further thought, she found herself nodding. "Okay Castle, you win. I will write a letter to Santa with you." Because, really even if it was crazy, what could it hurt? A little play, a little dreaming, a little fantasy if it made him so incredibly happy. If they gave her the chance to sit beside him and write. Together. Plus, it was for a good cause. So what could it hurt?

She had to admit, his excitement was even little bit infectious. He jumped up from the sofa, and made his way quickly into his office. When he returned, he had a small box in his hand and was gesturing wildly for her to join him at the table. She got up, suppressing a smile. A lot of things may have changed about her opinion of Richard Castle in the last four plus years, but he was still a nine-year-old on a sugar rush.

But it's when she looked into the box that he brought with him that she knew exactly how true this was. It was full of random bits paper, stationary and writing implements. Apparently, this was going to be crafty. Okay, she can do that. She reached into the box, and came up with a pretty but still sedate sheet of white paper with small pearlized snowflakes around the outer edges. As she rummaged around in the selection of writing implements, she located a purple gel pen that seemed to have some sort of glitter substance in the ink.

"Please tell me this is left over from Alexis?" She asked with a delighted grin.

Castle looked up for making his own selections, and nodded. "Definitely. She had a thing for gel pens growing up, and the moreglittery, sparkly, or shimmery the better."

Kate considered her other options the box for a moment then shrugged and uncapped the pen. The truth was, she rather liked gel pens herself. They were smooth and wrote well, and yes she had gone through her glittery phase too. And if she was going to be writing a letter to Santa Claus, she might as well get to be a little childish about it. Besides, purple ink was just cool.

She looked up to find Castle watching her. "What?" She asked with a defiant raised her eyebrow.

"Nothing."

"Yeah right," she said. She wouldn't buy that even as a Christmas. "Quit judging my style choices and write your own letter, Rick."

For several moments, she looks down at the blank piece of paper and contemplated where to start. There was a good deal of shuffling from where Castle was sitting, and then she heard him get up and walk across the room. A moment later the sounds of soft instrumental Christmas music fill quiet of the room.

She smiled a little. Okay, this might actually be really nice. She waited until he came back to sit next to her, and then started writing. And for the next hour, she allowed herself to be immersed in the possibility of the impossible; she wrote out her Christmas wishes, one by one. Writing about a world with a little less darkness, a little more justice...and _him_. Yeah, there was a lot of that.


	5. December 4: Wishlist

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.

AN2: for this chapter, Castle's POV follows after Beckett's mor than coincides. The story needed it. SO, after reading this, go to: www. fanfiction s /8747408 /5 / Spirit-of-the-Season-Castle by copy and pasting in your browser and removing all spaces.

_For CB, because she works magic. Seriously. _

* * *

Day 5: Wishlist  
December 4, 2012

* * *

It'd been a ridiculously long morning of tracking down witness statements by the time they made it to the lunch hour. But with that accomplished, they had to wait for the reports to come back. Without much that was immediately pressing to do, Kate suggested that they take a little time and grab some lunch.

Castle wasted no time in seizing on her suggestion, and to be honest she found that more than a bit unnerving. It didn't take her very long to realize that he clearly had a plan. He was directing her down the sidewalk through series of quick turns.

"We going somewhere specific, Castle?" She asked.

"Well," he said slowly, in a way that let her know exactly how right she was. "I figured as long as we were down this way anyway, we might as well drop these off."

It wasn't until he actually pulled the envelopes from his pocket that she realized he had brought their letters from the night before with him. To work. Seriously? She looked around, hoping she would find some sort of reasonable reply to get her out of this, and realized that he had lead them directly to the Macy's store in Herald Square. Well, crap. She had quite literally walked right into this, hadn't she?

"You know, this is still lunch break, and I was kind of hoping that we might actually get lunch." The problem with that explanation of course was that it sounded particularly lame, even to her own ears.

"I know, me too. But there's at least a couple of restaurants inside the store, and even with the tourist tax at least one of them has pretty reasonable food. On me anyway, come on. It'll be fun."

She wasn't overly pleased with the emphasis he put on the word fun, as if he still felt she had no idea to have a how to have a good time. She would've thought at least by now he would know better. But really, still with the letters to Santa Claus? But he did have a point, they did need to drop off the letters. And the one restaurant downstairs did have a fairly decent pasta, generally. She could do that. Oh, what the hell.

"Fine," she sighed.

She had to admit, she liked the way that he grinned back at her. As they made their way toward the store, he reached out and took her hand. While they were still technically on-duty, there was no one here that would see them and care. So she was content to let him, at least until she felt him slide something into her hand. A small scrap of paper. And then he let go.

He moved forward to open the door for her, and she stopped walking. Looked up at him, then down at the paper in her hand, and back to her partner. Even though she felt as if she should be used to this by now, especially after the last several days, she still found herself surprised at the presence of small note as she unfolded it. It read, Wishlist.

She looked back at him, confused. "Didn't we already do a WishList? Isn't that basically what the what letters are?"

He smiled. "Well yes, I know. We're delivering them so I figured it worked.

She shrugged it off. Sure, if this is how he wanted to play his particular game, she could let him. Mostly it has been fun, and sweet. And she had to admit, this is the most fun she had during the holiday season and a very long time. At least since the last Christmas she'd had with her family all together, she thought. But she pushed it back, because that didn't need to be a part of today. It just didn't. This is about them, and fun.

They made their way into the store and found themselves searching for the location of "Santa's Mailbox" As they wound their way through the store, She found herself looking at all of the decorations, and nearly jaw dropping they were, as they approached the area where children wait in line to meet Santa Claus. The place looks to her as though a child's imagination of Christmas wonderland had exploded within the space and adhered itself to every available surface. She liked it more than she would have thought, and that surprised her.

"Hey look!" Castle said egerly "there's hardly even a line."

Wait what? No. No way. He could not possibly be serious. She wasn't going to go stand in line to get pictures with Santa Claus on her lunch hour. "Castle, we're not five years old." She rolled her eyes and continued to walk on, but quickly felt his hand close around her elbow.

"Oh, come on. It's just a little bit of fun. Besides, it's 34th St. The actual, real, Macy's Santa Claus, Beckett! It's like you almost have to." At her skeptical look he added, "Plus it's kind of fun to see all the decorations up close on the walk-through. Since we are going to grab something to eat here anyway, it's not like it'll take more than a few minutes."

She didn't want to. She really didn't want to. Except that, yes it would be nice to see some of the decorations up close, and Castle was so much more the childlike version that she loves, rather than the childish version that annoys her. It was rather tempting just to let him have this and get it over with.

And so, she sighed and simply let him lead her where he wanted her to go. In the end it was just easier that way, like always. Let him get out of his system whatever his latest obsession might be, and then move on with her day. Even though she would never say it out loud, she knew that sometimes his crazy little ideas are even fun.

She had to admit the walking through the long decorated cue area was pretty cool. She knew full well that she would have liked it even more in her own childhood state. Even as skeptical as she may have been as a child, she couldn't resist the bright colors and the giant toybox of delights that seem to be almost everywhere. It's a riot of activity and the sort of thing that she would have sworn not all that long ago would have made her crazy. But it suits the place, where they are at the moment, and so she couldn't help but love it a little bit. Because even if it's not necessarily what she would normally choose day to day, it's perfect for this.

She was grateful however, that Castle was right about something else. There wasn't much of a line speak of, and that's a good thing because judging from the size of the line area, the normal wait could have stretched into hours. Then again, if there had been a longer wait they might not be standing here at all. She looked over at him, and he was bouncing up-and-down on his feet. He was genuinely excited. She shouldn't be surprised by that, it's him. But she is a little. At least as surprised as she is by her own willingness to go this far.

But as they approached the little room and were ushered in, the attendant dressed as a elf made a comment about the fact that they were here without children, Kate began to question her own willingness to go along with it. Was she honestly going to walk in there and see Santa Claus like a child? It was ridiculous, wasn't it? Before she could turn voice her concerns to her partner, they found themselves inside the small room facing a man in the obligatory Santa suit seated on something that looks like it might as easily belong to a king rather than someone posing as Santa Claus.

True, okay, this guy is more convincing than most. It reminds her immediately of the movie that supposedly takes place in this location. The second one, by the look of the man. She actually really liked the modern version, almost as much as the classic. Not that she would ever admit that to anyone. The man looked at her and smiled, and it set off all of the trepidation that she had been waiting for. This was a really stupid idea. She wanted out of here.

"You know what, I'm sorry. This just… It was a bad idea. Castle, you do what you want but I'm just going to wait outside or something…" She turned around and headed back towards the "elf" who ushered them in, but the young woman was looking past her, at their "Santa," and then she turned and exited. Kate turned back around to stare at the man in front of her.

"Look, I'm just humoring him, okay? So let's just do this and get it over with." She turned to Castle and gestured with her hand toward the other man, for him to just go ahead and do whatever was he was going to do and let them get the hell out of here.

"Kate, come on, it was just…" She knew Castle was trying, but she shook her head. Leave it, just leave it she wanted to say. But she was not necessarily in the mood to be caught having a meltdown in front of a department store Santa, no matter how ridiculous the concept might be.

"Not to worry, young Kate," the older man said. "You're not the first, nor will you be the last to have been brought rather unwillingly to see me. Particularly among the grownups, I am sad to say."

The man was smiling, Kate noticed. But, it didn't seem as if he were mocking. Not really. In fact, it seemed quite genuine. She didn't know what to make of it. "Look, it isn't only that, not really. It's just, the whole basic idea it is pretty ridiculous. For me anyway. I mean, I'm a cop and I've seen -"

Where the hell was she going with this anyway? Into more morbid details of her cynical life viewpoint? What was next, conversations about her mother? She had no idea. But there was something about this man that made her talk in a way that usually only happened with her therapist. Or Castle. The very thought was irritating.

"Yes, I know."

For a moment, Kate was startled by his simple easy words. But then she realized he must've seen the badge still clipped in the usual place.

"We have something in common, with our jobs, you know." "Santa" claimed.

"Really?" Kate's voice was dry, a little mocking in her own right, now.

"We both see a lot of things, the good and the bad," he returned, his smile gentle. "You have, I think seen worse than most, haven't you Kate?"

He must've seen her startled look, because he gave a slight chuckle even as Castle brought his hand up at her back. How did this guy know anything about her? He didn't, couldn't. Right?

"Even Santa reads newspapers now and then, Kate Beckett. Especially in my off season, you know. Have to keep an eye on the world."

There was nothing in his expression but a look of understanding, something she might've called compassion. He was talking about her shooting, she realized. Somehow, whoever this man was when he wasn't "Santa Claus", he had recognized her.

Her shoulders relaxed as she realized that whether or not this man was genuine, or whether he was just messing with her, this wasn't a threat. "You know," she tried, "we should probably get going, I'm sure there're plenty of people –"

"Oh, no no. I wouldn't worry about that, we aren't terribly busy and dear Mary will have everything under control,"

Directing anyone who does appear in the line into another room, she thought, but didnt say it. She recalled the unspoken exchange he'd had with the woman just before she has left. She hasn't seen his side of the exchange, but she realized now there must have been some signal. But why?

She looked to Castle but he seemed transfixed by the man in front of them. Didn't seem particularly inclined to leave or question what was going on.

"Have you heard the expression, Kate, that 'Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear'?"

"Ambrose Hollingworth Redmoon," Castle cut in, and Kate was relieved to see him finally animated about something. "I see Santa reads his magazines, along with his newspapers," he said with a slight smile.

"Indeed I do."

"You know, most people these days seem to think that it came from the Princess Diaries," Castle commented.

Kate wondered exactly what the hell her partner was getting at. He was playing around in the midst of this very awkward conversation with a supposed Santa Claus, and all she wanted to do was get out of here. But then, it was Santa's turn to turn back to her again. "Yes, little Ricky always did have his face in a book. Especially after that batch of Encyclopedia Brown he got when he was nine, hmm?"

Castle was standing as much behind her as next to her, but even Kate could see the look of genuine surprise on his face. So apparently this man knew little something about him as well. Odd though that might have been, it still didn't seem terribly threatening, so Kate did her best to let it go. All she wanted to do was get to the end of whatever this encounter was and on with her day.

"My point was," the man continued "that while none of us may be particularly good at the banishment of fear, at finding the courage to sort through the more difficult moments of life, the fact is that very few are capable of moving beyond that, of finding more than simply the suppression of fear without the help of something a little greater than ourselves."

Maybe it was the fact that she was quite used to listening for the holes in people's stories. For the moments and the tells that give away a person's dishonesty. But she found herself perceiving nothing from this man but sincerity. And that in and of itself drew her in, made her listen to his words even when she didn't want to. Unconsciously, she took a step closer.

"I have no doubt of your personal courage, my dear. Not at all. But for some of us, those of us that have seen the very worst of the world, those of us who have seen how dark life can become, need more. Something just a little bit brighter to bring in the light to fight against the darkness."

She was looking into his eyes now, staring, unable to interrupt. Because some part of her wanted to know exactly what it was he had seen. What it was that had suddenly made her so sure that he understood. That he got her, where she was coming from. She didn't know what it was, but it was something. Something very, very real. Because he knew. Knew what it was to want more. To want to be more than the darkness, the cynicism that sometimes felt as if it pervaded her, uninvited.

"And that, is where simple faith can become invaluable," he went on, undaunted by her sudden rapt attention. "Not necessarily faith in something particular, or profound. But merely the belief in the possibility of something more. In the chance for hope. That can be the thing that stands between us and the darkness."

Like, she thought, the belief that there could be someone in the world with the power to make children's wishes come true. She nodded slowly, acknowledging her unknown friend that had suddenly appeared in a form of Santa Claus. Because she understood. Whoever he is, whatever his story, his own battle with the darkness of life, this was where he has found more. Found something to believe in. Hope.

She reached out, behind her, sought Castle's hand with her own. Because, that's what he was. For her. Because he showed up in her life, and never backed down from trying to make her see magic, this man who saw her scars from the battles of her life almost from the day he met her. Because he dragged her places like this.

"Thank you," she said, her voice quiet. "I'm sorry, if I was a particular pain," she offered with a wry smile.

"Oh my dear, the most difficult cases, the hardest non-believers, are the most enjoyable, for they are the most worthwhile." He looked past her, to Castle, she realized. "Wouldn't you agree, young man?"

As her partner led her out the door, Kate didn't even have to look his way to know he was grinning.


	6. December 5: Angels

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.

**AN2**: So this might actually be something that I actually do. I don't necessarily have Kate's budget for it, but I will next year. Because it takes surprisingly little per week to end up with about $1500. That's what I assume she's working with here. $10 per week, plus the cost of a daily Starbucks.

_For CB, Because. That's all. ;)_

* * *

Day 6: Angels  
December 5, 2012

* * *

She was glad that he was there when she woke the next morning, even if it was still best for them to go in separately to the precinct. When he had left her there early yesterday evening, claiming a need for research time, she hadn't been sure if she would see him before work today.

But he had shown up last night, dinner in hand, and something in his eyes that she didn't quite understand. She'd groused a little about him not trusting her to feed herself properly before admitting that the grilled chicken Parmesan he had brought with him sounded much better than the yogurt and granola she'd planned on, simply because she knew that was the only reliably fresh food in her fridge.

Yeah, okay. So maybe he had a little bit of a point about her eating habits. Very little. But, he'd always been like that. It was just Castle. Taking care of her. Why had it taken her this long to see it for what it was?

Enough. She had a day to start, a case to solve. Things had gone well yesterday after their little impromptu visit with Santa. She felt the solve lingering at the edges of her mind, and she wanted to get there. She had plans for this day, after all. But she needed the case done, first.

She turned, trying to work out the best way to wake her partner. Just because she needed to be a bit efficient today didn't mean things couldn't be a little fun, too. She smiled slowly and reached for him.

She got lucky. The boys came through with intel the moment she walked in the door, and a few hours later, it was Castle who realized what they had all been having trouble seeing: it wasn't the boyfriend, it was the neighbor who wanted to be the boyfriend.

The kid, and he wasn't much more than that, cracked on sight when they went to pick him up. Couldn't shut him up, Miranda and all. Easy. Sad, as always, and a little unsettling, sure. But easy.

"Want to grab coffee before we head out?" Castle asked, standing beside her desk. It felt like a bit of déjà vu, and she grinned inspite of herself.

"You know what, I got it. You finish clearing the board for me, okay?" She reached into the bottom drawer of her desk for the reusable travel mugs they use for this, snagging a sticky note as she did so, careful to keep it hidden in the palm of her hand.

When she returned with the cups filled and the bright pink sticky note carefully affixed to the back of his mug, he had just placed the last photos in the box. She was glad. Secretly, of all the difficult parts of her job, this was the part that she hated most: relegating these bits of someone's story, their life and death to a box to be catalogued. The board wiped down, waiting for the next case, the next victim. Because there will always be a next case.

She shook her head to clear away the thought, because she might never have thought she would find herself taking advice from Santa Claus, but the man was right. She needed more light in her life. He gave her that. Had for a long time. Much longer than they had been a couple, certainly. She wanted to give him just some small measure of that. To give him this little "mission" tonight. So yeah, she was doing this.

"Hey," she said softly, so that he would look her way. She handed him the mug, smiled softly, then sipped her own.

"What – what's this?" Castle asked.

"Looks like a sticky note," she said, mock helpfulness dripping from her voice.

"Yes thank you," he said dryly. "I gather that much. What I meant was, what does it mean?"

She said nothing in reply, instead she stood and watched as he flipped the small sticky note over in his hand, watched his mouth form the word "Angels" as he read it on the paper, though he said nothing out loud. And she watched as the realization struck him. "Kate?" He asked softly.

A grin spread across her face and her eyebrows lifted. "Come on Castle, it's my turn." She was halfway to the elevator before she turned back from him, even though she knew – she knew - she would have to. "Castle," she said, mock frustration in her voice, "are you coming or not?"

She waited only a second before turning around and continuing her walk to the elevator. Because he'd be right behind her, she knew that much, too.

They were barely out of the building before starting in. "What does it mean, Beckett?"

She couldn't help it, she knew it was coming. Knew all of it was coming, but still the fact that he had the nerve to even try after he –

"You're kidding me right?" She asked.

"Oh so that's how were going to do this," he said. "To pay me back for everything I've done this week?"

He meant getting even for keeping her in the dark, she knew. Still, something in her would not what those words go unchallenged. So she stopped, reached back to take his hand and turned to him with smile. "No, Castle. Nothing I do could ever pay you back for everything you've done this week. But I think the lease that I can do is play along. Now, to you want to come with me, or not?"

"Oh, definitely going with you. I go where you go, remember?" The answer came so quickly that she found an answering laugh of affection coming without warning.

"Oh don't worry, I remember," she said.

#

"The Manhattan Mall? Really Beckett? Of all the places in the city to go shopping, you pick the mall? and what does that have to do with ang-"

"Have a little patience, can you?" She asked.

"Oh yes, certainly. Because as you know from your long experience with me, an overabundance of patience has always been my strong suit," came his dry reply.

"Uh huh," Instead of any further apply, she grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt and let him forcefully over to the large Christmas tree and the table beside it.

She was pleased to realize that Lisette recognized her immediately. "Katie, dear! I was wondering when we be seeing you."

She couldn't help flashing a little. Really, she is meant to get here before now. But work had been as crazy as ever, and Castle had keeping her busy. Still, this was a bit late in the season even for her.

"I know, Lisette. And really, I'm sorry. I had every intention of getting here right after Thanksgiving, but we had a nasty case and then life just sort of happened."

The older woman waved her concern away with a brush of her hand. "Think nothing of it dear, I knew you'd be here eventually. And right on time too. Still have plenty for you to claim, I'm afraid. And who have we here?"

Kate knew perfectly well that the older woman knew exactly who Castle was, but she didn't even bother trying to contain her smile. Because, yeah, maybe his name had come up a couple of times over the years. "Lisette, this is Rick," she offered without any real preamble. Let them just get down to it, shall they?.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Castle look to her in question. Oh, because with her he was usually just Castle, and if she was introducing him to someone then she usually used his full name. And she had just called him Rick. She shrugged it him, A clearly defined "what?" there in her eyes. She hoped to leave it at that.

"Oh yes of course, Mr. Castle. I've heard so much about you."

"Really?" Kate swallowed back a retort at the obvious question in her partner's voice. Yeah, he wasn't going to leave it. At all.

"Oh yes. Katie here is always one of my best. Adopts a full set and always comes through, don't you dear?"

"I do try," she said, smiling. She made her way over to the tall tree adorned with – Lisette is right – too many paper angels. She worked her way around slowly, reading the information on each one carefully, pulling one off here and there to hold onto it. She said nothing to Castle, let him catch up on phone, figure out what was going on.

When he did come up behind her, his voice was low at here, is telling possible. "I've seen these other places," he said. "Now that I think about it, not many here in Manhattan. You see the kettles all over the place, the bellringers. But –"

She nodded, because she knew. She always came here, got a few off the tree. In other years, She'd supplemented her little list of children from the Salvation Army Angel Tree program with a few others she located online. But they weren't doing the online program this year, and she wondered if others had stopped adopting for the lack of convenience. She hoped not.

"This is cool," Castle said, his voice still quiet. "How are you picking them?"

She bit her lip, tried to think of a way to explain her methodology. Tried to think of a way of explaining choosing a handful of needy children from the too-large selection that doesn't sound like she's a horrible person for cherry picking them.

"Just a mix. Different ages. Different WishList's. Both genders. I've always had a small shopping list for Christmas, came from a small family until it got smaller." She breathed through it, tried not to let the emotion of that particular thought overwhelm her. "So every year, I come and I choose several Angels from the tree. Shop for them like they're younger siblings, or nieces and nephews. Grandparents," she said, pulling down one of the Angels reserved to represent senior citizens from the tree.

"Kate," his voice sounded almost raw. "That's – it's amazing."

She shrugged. This is never been about the attention, hasn't been about her at all. Except, perhaps for the joy she took in having someone to buy presents for. Except maybe her little bit of loneliness for the lack of family in her life.

Certainly she had always had her small precinct family to shop for, and her father. In recent years there had been Castle, and she supposed now there was Martha and Alexis, both. Still, she hands her small stack to Lisette and effectively doubles her shopping list as the woman takes down the numbers on cards, and her information and then hands them back to her. Lissette told her she had about a week to get them back to her, and Kate was grateful. She wasn't sure she'd be able to get all the shopping done in one day.

"Come on, Castle. Let's go shopping," she said. She hooked her come around the edge of his side pocket and used it to keep him with her as she started moving. She handed him the stack of paper Angels so he could see the children's ages and clothing sizes. "We don't need to get things here at the mall, there is a good children's clothing store about 10 blocks up on west 43rd."

He agreed to the plan readily enough, and she heard him shuffling through the stack in his hands as they walked. He stopped to grab some coffee along the way, to keep them warm in the steadily cooling night air.

"So, I get help?" He asked.

The question startled her, because she had more or less assumed that much was a given. "Of course," She said, "that's why I brought you, I thought you might enjoy it. Besides," she continued, decided to give him just a little something she hadn't planned on before, "you sort of already do."

At his questioning look of surprise, she smiled. "Makes it much easier to save up for this every week considering I haven't had to buy myself coffee more than a handful of times the last several years."

He barked out a laugh at that, and she leaned in, good-naturedly bumping him in the side. He responded by reaching out and wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her into his side. She let him keep her there all the way to the first shop.

#

Castle was far more at home in the children's clothing store and she would've expected. Although that was silly really. She found herself having to remember yet again that his daughter was once just a little girl.

Actually what surprised her the most was how restrained and even downright practical her partner could be in his choices. She raised an eyebrow and question when he came back to her with a packet of cute but simple short-sleeved onesies for the infant girl on their list.

"Oh trust me, Beckett. These are perfect. It's one thing you want for sure. And you want it simple, well-made, uncomplicated, and in quantity."

"Sounds like the voice of experience."

He visibly shuddered. "Oh you have no idea. When Alexis was little, she went through more laundry in the day that I did in a week. And given the size of these clothes," he said holding up the packet that contained at least 5 to 7 of the little articles of clothing, "Believe me when I say, that's saying something. Between that diaper issues, spit-ups, and food accidents you go through these things in record time."

They worked their way through various possibilities for little boys and little girls from infants to toddlers and elementary school aged kids. Castle found a ladybug themed rain jacket in just about the tiniest size imaginable for the baby girl on their list, and Kate agreed it was a must purchase when she found the matching boots.

Both toddlers, as it turned out had to have these odd little contraptions shaped like monkeys that formed a snow hat, scarf, and mittens in a single piece. "It's like a giant hug from a monkey!" Castle said, his glee obvious, and infectious.

She was also intrigued by the fact that Castle had an interesting way of shopping for the little boys. He skipped right over the sports themed merchandise and came back with To baby onesies, both black, but one with blue trim that read "Hug Magnet", the U in hug having been formed from an old-fashioned magnet shape. The other, all-black, read "BOY GENIUS!" with the symbol for an atom on it.

She laughed out right when he came up with a longsleeved thermal shirt with a motorcycle on the front of it. He insisted, that of course, being as she had a motorcycle herself she absolutely had to buy this. She agreed, holding it up for his inspection with a pair of long camo pants.

She was working her way through possible accessories and additional items filling out the needs of the older girl on the list, and adding a practical set little boy onesies to the pile when she looked up and caught Castle staring at her.

He looked away the moment that he saw her looking back, and honestly after all these years of him observing her at work, you would think she would be used to it by now. She mostly was. But this seemed different. There was something in his eyes, akin to that strange look of tenderness it worn when he shown up at her door the night before. And something else decides. Something close to the look he got when he was figuring out the end of the story on a case.

"Castle?" She asked. "You okay over there?"

She saw him setback whatever was in his hand, the slight flash of purple as he laid it down. "I'm fine," he said, clearing his throat. "Just something I saw, won't work. That's all. Not a good idea to use anything with family designations on it. Since we don't know the children's backgrounds, right?"

She nodded. That definitely made sense to her. But his reaction to it to do not. When he went to look for one last thing he said he just had to have her look at, Kate waited until he was out of her line of sight, and then stepped over to where he had been. It was a pile of onesies, more decorated than the ones in packets, probably where he had found the two little boy ones he placed in the pile.

She shuffled through them until she came to the one in the right shade of purple, dark, exactly like she liked it. It was impossibly small. Still, she spread the tiny garment on her hands until she could read the writing on the front: Daddy and I agree, Mommy is the BEST!

Her throat closed up. She looked up, searching for him and found him kneeling over a bin towards the back of the store, rifling through it. She understood then, about the look on his face. Because he could see it. Could see – She swallowed, because for just a moment, so could she. She stepped away from it, shook her head. Had to clear the image, and it was slow in going.

She was going over racks of tiny little shoes when she suddenly felt something soft land on her right shoulder. "Quack!" She jumped.

"Castle!" She jerked away and spun around to face him.

He was holding up a medium-size stuffed duck. All yellow and fuzzy, perfectly appropriate for a baby or small child. And actually, bone meltingly adorable. He cocked the thing's head to one side "Quack?"

"Clothes shopping, Castle. Focus."

"Everybody needs somebody to love, Kate," he said with a shrug.

Her breath stalled. She looked at him for a long moment, then reached out and took the duck, which was incredibly soft, from his hands. She put it on the top of the pile and went to pay without another word.

#

Their next and final stop of the evening was Barnes & Noble. She bypassed all the places she usually stopped to browse and headed straight for the children's section, Castle as always, at her heels.

The first thing she finds is "The Mouse Cookie Treasury," which she held onto, relish in her eyes. The first of the series was the first book she ever truly loved as a child. The first one she ever memorized, and thus learned to read on her own.

"Someone is a fan," Castle noted with a gentle smile.

"Hey, don't knock it. This book is you, Castle. Come looking for one thing, and never leave. But there's a lot of crazy fun in between," she teased back.

"That's because the one thing I wanted was you," he murmured unapologetically. Then he dropped a book into her hands and took off for the shelves along the back wall.

She looked down at the book in her hands, "Santa Mouse" was one she had never seen, so she found herself sitting cross-legged with it open on her lap in a corner of the children's section while her partner ran around filling his arms with stacks of books from the various age groups.

He returned to her with just about every beloved classic she could think of. She found Paddington, Pooh, Corduroy, Dr. Seuss, Shell Silverstein, Beverly Cleary's The Mouse and the Motorcycle series, Choose Your Own Adventure, Polar Express, - yes, Encyclopedia Brown, too. A Cricket in Times Square, Stone Soup, A Very Hungry Catapillar, Curious George and Clifford. And -

"There's a Monster at the End of This Book!" That made her smile, unrestrained. "I loved this one!"

"There's a sequel," Castle handed it over, and she flipped through it. Grover had apparently joined forces with Elmo. It made her laugh, even at 33. She looked up at him, expecting to find a smirk on his face. He was reading over her shoulder. She finished it, added it to the pile.

Then she got up, grabbed just a few more middle reader, girly options: Madeline L'Engle, Judy Blume, L.M. Montgomery, and Ann M. Martin. Castle nodded his head in approval. "Alexis had most of those," he said as they sorted the books into piles by recipient. "And most of these too," he admitted, pulling a few he had chosen and holding them up.

"That's what happens when Daddy knows all the good stuff," she said easily. "Alexis was a lucky kid." They paused as they passed a book between them, and she knew that he could see it in her eyes. The thing she hasn't said. Can't yet.

Their kids are going to be so damn lucky.


	7. December 6: Hot Chocolate

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.

_For CB, all that is amazing in this one is you. Just so you know I know._

* * *

DAY 7: Hot Chocolate  
December 6, 2012

* * *

Kate kind of thought that by now she would be use to paperwork heavy days without Castle. After all, until recently he hardly ever came in unless there was an active case. Maybe it was the recent change in the status of their relationship, or maybe it was the fact that there seems to be more days without an active case since the weather turned cold.

That thought made her smile just a little, remembering what he'd said back in Nikki's first book about body counts going up with the temperature. There was a fair amount truth to that, although all of the holiday festivities usually stirred things up as well. So now, she found herself in a lull. And to make matters worse, she found herself without her partner.

Despite his more recent tendency to come in regardless of the case, Castle was quite simply unavailable today. He had a meeting out of his publishers office, and she knew when she left him this morning he was less than happy about it. Actually, he had seemed less than happy in general.

There was not really much time to talk about it before she left this morning, but now that she had more time to consider it, she was becoming more concerned. Usually, she would've had about three dozen text messages from Castle by now. She knew from these last couple of years of experience that there was very little he hated more than being bored, unless it was being bored in meetings.

With her paperwork more or less in order, and the boys distracted mostly with the process of making nuisances of themselves, Kate decided her best course of action would be to head down and have a chat with Lanie. Not that her friend would be a particularly good sounding board when it came to her boyfriend's state of mind, necessarily, but at least the distraction would be good for her own.

When she got to the medical examiners office, however, she was surprised to find that, at the moment, Lanie was nowhere in sight. Sometimes, it was difficult to remember that just because she was without a case, just because her particular team was having a quiet day, didn't necessarily mean that murder had taken a holiday in New York City.

She was about to give up and head back to her desk, wait for either a call or the end of the day, when she was distracted by the sudden appearance of a certain redheaded intern.

"Hey Alexis," she said, more brightly than she might have done a few weeks ago. The truth was, she had always liked Castle's daughter, but until recently, she'd had the increasing feeling that the girl was not necessarily thrilled with her. Their search for Christmas tree, however had changed a good number of things between them, Kate felt. Or perhaps, it had been the girl simply getting used to the idea of her father in a relationship with the detective. Whatever it was, Kate was more than glad for the change.

"Detective Beckett!" And that greeting made Kate smile in spite of herself.

"It's Kate, Alexis. Honestly," she said.

The younger girl smiled and ducked her head, but Kate caught the slightest bit of a blush before she could hide her face. "I know, and I'm working on it. I am," Alexis, said hurriedly. "It's just, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, I mean at work. You know what I mean?"

Kate closed the distance between them, and put her hand on the girl's shoulder, waiting until Alexis looked up at her again. "It's fine, Alexis, really. Whatever you're comfortable with, whenever and wherever you're comfortable with it, okay?" As long as the girl was becoming more comfortable with her, in general, Kate could live with the details.

She was however, quite happy when the girls bright smile returned. "Okay," Alexis agreed easily. Then, her eyes drifted around the room in the area behind Kate. "Hey, come to think of it, where's dad?"

"Oh, he had a meeting with his publishers this morning. I don't think he was particularly happy about going, either."

"Eww," Alexis said, scrunching up her nose. "Yeah, those days aren't exactly fun," she said, sympathy in her eyes. "I know my dad loves his job, but I think he would just as soon just do the writing and leave all the details to someone else."

On paperwork heavy days like today, Kate could certainly understand that. Even if Castle was usually more of a baby about such things than most people. Still, something about him had seemed more off than usual for this sort of thing. The fact nagged at her, wouldn't leave her alone.

She wasn't sure, though, how much of that she should share with her partner's daughter. After all, whatever her concerns, there were only reasonable expectations about how much a daughter she know about certain things in her father's life. Kate knew that much from experience.

Still, there might be some way in which the girl's knowledge of her father might be helpful. "Any idea on how to help?"

The girl shrugged usually. "Sure, there's always one no fail way to cheer up my dad." She opened her mouth to say the words, but then stopped. "Actually," she said, "I think my dad would want me to give it to you like this, at the moment."

Kate watch as she scribbled something down on the edge of the sheet of paper on a clipboard, then tore it off and handed it to her. For moment, she was confused. And then she remembered that Castle had spoken about whatever his little plan was with all these notes with his daughter in the beginning. Oh, so that was it. Well, She had wondered if she would get a note from Castle today. She just didn't know it would end up being Little Castle.

She took the note from Alexis, and smiled. Then she looked down with the girl had written. Hot chocolate. Almost as soon as she saw the words she remembered that afternoon not long after she had lost her apartment in the explosion in the second year of her partnership with Castle. Alexis had brought her hot chocolate, and told her that that was what she had always done for her father on a bad day. That her father always made her pancakes, when she had a bad day.

At the time, all that Kate had been able to think about was the fact that Castle had made her pancakes the morning before, before a body was dropped on her doorstep, and all hell broke loose. Now, she remembers clearly the girl's advice. And her friendly smile. It'd been easier between them then, before the shooting and before everything that had gotten complicated between her and Castle and obviously bled over to his family. It felt, at least for the moment as if they were on their way back to that easiness. She hoped so.

"Oh, wait. I remember this. Double chocolate right?"

Alexis grinned back at her. "Yep, and double marshmallow, too."

"That I can do. That, and wait for the inevitable bored text messages."

Alexis cocked her head to one side. "Those haven't started yet? That's odd." Then the girl shrugged. "Well, maybe you'll get lucky and the meeting will be less awful than usual."

Kate hoped that she was right, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to except that it could be that easy. Still, at least now she had a backup plan. She thanked Alexis, and told her to let Lanie know that she had stopped by. She was just to the door of the morgue, when the redhead called out to her again."Hey Kate?" She turned back around, inordinately pleased that the girl had managed to use her first name this time. Work or not. "Yeah?"

"Just in case it's really bad, remember that chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream never fails."

Kate grinned. "We'll, yeah that's true of everybody, isn't it?"

"Pretty much," Alexis agreed.

God, her partner could be such a girl sometimes. And, yeah okay, she kind of loved it. Just then, as she made her way back towards the elevator to head back to her desk, her phone beeped with an incoming text message. Ah, she thought, here we go.

She pulled the phone from her pocket and checked it. Yep, definitely from Castle. _Wish I was with you. Longest meeting EVER, and most of it really doesn't require any input from me._

Ah. There was the note of boredom she is been waiting for. She was still debating her possibilities for a reply, whether to just break down and admit how much she missed him, too, or whether to provide something more along lines of their customary banter and asking him exactly when his input was required, when her phone chirped again. Well, she thought, he really is bored now. Not even waiting for the reply.

She navigated back to her inbox with her thumb, even as she arrived back in the bullpen. _Tell me you need me. Better yet, call in and tell Paula._

She swallowed down her immediate reaction to the reminder of the day of the bank robbery. That wasn't the point, she reminded herself. Still, the enormity of the close call swam in the back of her thoughts. She pushed it aside though, in favor responding to his request. Yeah, she wasn't going to call his publicist. That never went well. Dealing with Gina was one thing, and considering all of their personal history, that was bad enough.

But the publicist? Well, Kate was fairly certain she was more than a little crazy. But apparently, she was also crazy good at her job, or at least that was what Castle indicated in trying to explain why she kept the woman on, even though he liked her only marginally better than Kate did herself. In spite of whatever history lay in that quarter too. She should shook of that thought, wanted to get around it. Considering how interested Castle had always claimed to be in her before they got together, she realized, he had talked entirely too much about his past.

Forcing herself to move beyond it, however, she typed out a quick response to her partner. _Wish you were here, too. And remember last time I called Paula, and she called you out on it? Not doing that again._

Then, remembering both the funk that she had left him in that morning and the words that had surged into her mind that morning of the bank robbery when she was still unable to say them, she send another message, hoping to soften the impact of the first. _I'll always need you. Just remember that, okay? This too shall pass soon enough, and we'll have the evening together._

His response came back quickly. _I can't wait_.

She smiled, wanted to say that she couldn't either, but worried about him being caught out at the meeting, didn't want to make it any worse for him than it already was.

So when his next text came so quickly, telling her he was leaving the meeting, it was a little alarming. Sure, she knew that he always got bored in meetings like this, but to just walk out was unlike him. Her level of concern ratcheted up a notch, and she was out of her seat before she even sent a reply.

"Hey, Ryan?" She called across the bullpen. "I'm all caught up, and we've got nothing, so I'm going to take off. Page me if something comes in?"

"You know it, boss," he said.

She was more than a little relieved when he didn't ask questions. Although, Ryan had been really great ever since the boys found out about her relationship with Castle. She suspected that he had known longer than his partner, but he hadn't said anything.

She sent him a quick reply letting him know that she was on her way, then signed out her car so she wouldn't have to wait for a cab. She wanted to get home ahead of him, execute Alexis's idea. Not that he wasn't making the whole thing fairly easy by walking home. The weather was plenty cold for early December, and she wondered a bit at what possessed him not to grab a cab himself.

It was still early enough that she made fairly good time getting to his loft, grateful for the fact that the precinct wasn't much farther from his place than it was hers.

But, as she pulled in to a parking space on the street, a sense of dread washed over her. Not unlike those she'd felt during the sniper case, only this time she wasn't afraid. Not for herself anyway. But she was worried about Castle. Still, she made her way up to the loft, and immediatly set the makings of a batch of cocoa on the stove.

While it heated, she fired off another quick note, just to be sure her was ok, even though it made her feel silly. She tried to make it light. Not trying to be creepy, but are you all right?

She finished up the cocoa quickly, and turned the burner down to warm. That would keep it safely enough until Castle arrived.

When his response came back saying that he was almost there, Kate looked down at her watch. That was much faster than she expected, he must've changed his mind about walking. She fired off a response telling him she was on her way, then checked the stove and headed out.

Not wanting to wait for the elevator, she decided to take the stairs. She made quick work of it too, using the quick pace to work off some of her worry. When she got to the bottom landing, she gave herself a minute to pull together, wanting to be steady when she saw him.

She gave quick nod of greeting to the doorman as she crossed the lobby and a moment later saw the cab pull up outside the building. When she saw him, there was just enough of that frightened little boy look to him to make her stomach clench.

She took two steps forward to meet him at the door, and did exactly what she couldn't do the last time. She pulled him immediately into her arms and held on. When he seemed a bit calmer, she pulled back, ran her fingers through his hair. "What happened? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I want to go inside first," he said.

She understood that well enough, remembered exactly what it was like. The need to be away from doors and windows, from people, the outside world in general. She had been alone through most of it, by her own poor choice. But he didn't have to be. "Just remember to breathe. You know, take a few deep breaths, and try to focus away from the outside. Focus on this," she took his hand in hers, intertwined their fingers, "and follow me. Okay?"

"Yeah," he said, drawing a deep breath, "I can do that."

"Good," she said.

She drew her thumb over the back of his hand in what she hoped were soothing circles as they made their way to the elevator. It reminded her of his trick with the dog, Royal, and the memory warmed her a little. She could do this for him. She could.

Once the doors were closed, Kate stood in front on him, where he could see her clearly, and placed her hand on his cheek. "Wanna talk about what happened now, or do you need a few?" she asked.

Castle reached over and pulled her into a hug. "I need a little time, but thank you, for this," he squeezed their still-joined hands. "It helps so much."

"I know," she said, and meant it. For as often and she may have pushed him away, he had helped her more often than he realized. Just by being him, and being there. She smiled at the thought.

The elevator doors opened and she guided him into his loft, to the kichen island. "Take a seat," she said, "I need to grab a few things from the kitchen, but I won't be far."

"I know," he answered, but she could tell he still seemed a bit disoriented.

"And I will stay where you can see me for the rest of the evening," she said, as she gave the cocoa a stir, and tested it for warmth. "Because, well, I've been there, and I get it. Alone isn't a good thing at a time like this."

When Kate finished, she took a seat beside Castle and handed him a mug.

"What is it?" he asked, sniffing the contents carefully. She watched the moment of realization fill his eyes, almost enough there to overwhelm her. _Oh, Castle._ "You've talked to Alexis, haven't you?"

"I might have," she smiled again, and rested her hand on his knee as she took a sip. "I knew when I left this morning, that something wasn't quite right. I ran into her while I was looking for Lanie this afternoon, so I asked her for a little advice on how to deal with a Castle who was having a bad day, and she reminded me of this." She tapped her mug against his, "Double chocolate, double marshmallow hot chocolate."

"It's wonderful."

His words and the accompanying smile made Kate feel better than she ever could've imagined. And she hated it just a little, because she had no pleasure in what she knew had to come next.

"You ready to talk about it? Because, you're not sleeping until you do, even if you are smiling like the Cheshire Cat." When he hesitated, she took a deep breath and tried to think the way she could help. Maybe draw a little bit on her own experience, or on therapy, a little. "Start with this morning. When you got up, you were very distracted," she said, thinking, inanely, that Dr. Burke would approve.

"Yeah," he agreed, "I wasn't completely aware of it at the time, but I had a nightmare last night. I don't remember anything other than a few images, but the feel of it stayed with me all day.

"It wasn't until just a short time ago, as I was walking back, I saw a man..." Castle shuddered, then continued, "and then the nightmare images started flashing in my head, and I felt as if I was being watched. I panicked and decided to take a cab for the rest of the way home because I couldn't stand to be surrounded by so many people I didn't know, and so many others I couldn't see."

She was listening to every word he said. "What was it about the man that caught your attention?"

"He had that same look in his eyes, carried himself the same way as 3XK, as Tyson. In my dream, Tyson was everywhere, threatening me and everyone I love.. I couldn't get away from him, and then, to see that guy... I guess I lost it."

"No, I think you did really well. You came straight home, and didn't try to stay where you weren't comfortable." She gave his knee a squeeze, "I'll be right back, just going to the freezer for something, okay?"

"Yeah," he said, and she could feel his eyes boring into her back, "I'll be right here."

She turned back to him with a smile, hoping that it was reassuring, and then grabbed the two pints of ice cream in the freezer and two spoons. No bowls necessary, not today.

"Ice cream?" He asked, and oh, yes. there was that Castle grin that she loved.

"Alexis told me everything I should get to console you, Castle." She couldn't help the wry smile that formed then, "And besides, ice cream is a no-brainer when it comes to comfort foods."

"I can't thank you enough for this," he said.

Honestly, it stunned her a little. Because she didn't need thanks. Not for this. But what she did need, she felt like a hypocrite for even asking for.

"You need to tell me when you start to feel panicky," she said slowly. She had begun nervously, but then, pulled it together and locked her eyes with his. He needed to see her sincerity right now.

"I didn't have anyone... didn't let anyone in, to help when I needed it, and it wasn't the smartest decision I've ever made. I know now, that it would've been so much easier if I'd had someone to talk to, and you, of all people, need to know that. I understand what it is, to feel like they're all after you, that you're surrounded by enemies, and there's no place to hide."

"I know," he said simply.

"And it's not going to go away overnight," she admitted, "I still have moments here and there, but I've learned the tells and can stop them, most of the time, before they have a chance to take over."

She watched he finished his hot chocolate, and then he reached out and pulled her up into a hug. She could feel in it everything he wasn't saying, and it made her even more glad that she had run into Alexis that afternoon.

"Do you want more?" she asked, noticing that his mug was empty. "I made sure there would be plenty to last us through the night, if we needed it."

At his affirmative response, she refilled their mugs and then began to lead him over to the sofa. "Come on, let's watch Star Trek IV."

"Really? I love that one!"

"Yeah, I know," she said, and covered both of them with a blanket before she snuggled down next to him. "And, it's something light with no phaser fire. Just George and Gracie."

Castle set his mug on the side table and put his arm over Kate's shoulder, bringing her closer to his side. "And just a few, shall we say, colorful metaphors?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, that too. Somehow, I knew that line was stuck in your head."

"Most of them are, really."

"Okay, you need to shut up so I can watch. It's been a while for me."

The moment that last sentence left her mouth, she regretted it. She could hear his "I beg to differ," coming from a mile away. So, when she saw his mouth open from the corner of her eye, she leaned her shoulder into his side. "Shut it, Castle," she warned playfully. "Watch your movie."

She heard his mouth snap shut with an audible pop just before the opening theme music began to play.


	8. December 7: Sugar and Spice

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.

**AN2**: So, there are actual recipes that Kate used. If anyone wants the links, I am not above trading them for reviews. Just saying. ;)

_Hey CB, We did it!_

* * *

Day 8: Sugar and Spice  
December 7, 2012

* * *

The next note came early compared to the others. Very early actually. She found the words written along with top ridge of her coffee collar when he handed her the cup in the midst of a 6:30 AM body call.

At first, she thought that he'd been messing with the flavorings in her coffee. Then she realized, it had only been written to appear that way. In case anyone else should spot the writing on the cob. She turned the cup slowly in her hand again and read, "Sugar and spice" and smirked.

She worked her way over to him as she surveyed the scene. "You just figure out I was a girl, Castle?" She asked dryly.

He blinked, startled, and his reaction made a laugh bubble up that she didn't even try to contain. "What? No. I - what?"

She took pity on him, turned her cup so that he could see the writing along along the edges. He looked at it for a minute, not quite understanding, she knew. But she waited him out until his eyes cleared.

"Little girls..." he murmured, chuckling. "I didn't even - that's, no. It's cookies, Beckett."

"Cookies?" She raised an eyebrow his way at the unexpected response.

"Christmas cookies, Kate. Alexis and I, even Mother, every year we do one massive baking night, do all kinds of cookies, like an exchange, only with just us. Really it's like a giant mess of flour and sugar, after which there are treats."

He had that gleeful look, happy in the way that was infectious. And after yesterday, she was so relieved to see it that words were hard to come by. Because this is how she wanted him, bright and excited. Not tied up in the madness of a killer's mind games.

"Your mother is making cookies?" She asked skeptically, even as she waved to the boys as they approached.

"Uh well, we give her points for effort, mostly. And Alexis is there to make sure nothing catches fire or explodes."

She nearly choked at his matter of fact statement. It couldn't be that bad. She's had dinner it his place before when Martha was in the kitchen. Sure, some of her - style - was interesting, as it always was with Martha. Still it didn't hold a candle to some of her son's more elaborate experiments. But, explosions?

"All right, that was me, and it was a Thanksgiving turkey. But it was only the one time, I swear."

She wanted to ask him how he managed to blow up his Thanksgiving turkey, sure that there was a story there to lighten what was sure to be at least a few hours of slogging through on a fresh case, but the boys reached them then, and her mind turned to work.

"Looking like this one's gonna be more my speed than yours, Boss," Esposito offered. "We got at least three people say they saw It go down."

Then again, she thought, maybe not.

* * *

"In general, I'm not one to complain about good luck," Castle said as they made there way out of the 12th that evening. "But, it's been pretty quiet and straightforward around here lately." Esposito had been right. It was more his style this time. Quick and clean close.

"In general, would you really consider that good luck?" She asked. She may have been known to have a bit of a preference for the more involved cases, but that wasn't unique to her. Not with Castle around, anyway.

Straightforward and simple tended to bore him rather quickly, and in years past would have resulted in him cutting out midafternoon in favor of some other activity. Ever since they had been together however, he seemed to prefer to stay unless something explicitly required his attention. That was even more true the last few days since their misunderstanding - well, her's really - about his working at home.

"That's a fair point," he admitted. "Although, I must say I do like having a bit more spare time with you."

"Me too," she said, returning his smile.

Before they could really discuss whether or not take her car back to the loft, Castle was out and hailing a cab. Well, it was just as well. Better than trying to work out a way to explain why the car would be logged at his place overnight.

"So what exactly is the game plan for this massive cookie overload of yours?"

Tofel side. "What actually, that's kind of part of the problem. Generally, other years we have done this, we've had all day. But Mother had a class tonight till 6:30, and Alexis is studying for finals and absolutely couldn't be available until seven. So, I'm thinking I'll need to at least get some of the demo started, so that we can get straight to the shaping and decorating when they get there. But I was going to pick up dinner, too. At this point, I'm wondering how it's all going to get done. Might make for a long evening."

"Relax," Kate said, as she shrugged out of her coat a little north of the cab. "You have to be doing something right, your daughter is going to spend her Friday night making cookies with her dad the week before finals."

"Yeah, true. I got lucky with her, you know?"

"I do," Kate said. She couldn't help but smile softly at that. One of her favorite things about him was how he loved his daughter. "You know," she offered, "I could help with the cookie dough if you want to pick up dinner?"

When he turned to look at her in surprise, she sighed. "I do cook, Castle. You know that by now."

"I know, but I mean, I invited you to this so it would be fun. Not to put you through being the one to do the boring prep work."

She shrugged. "It's no big deal, Castle. I can handle it." They were almost there, only a few blocks from the loft. She pulled out her phone, started pulling up the 2-3 websites she needed.

* * *

When they got inside, Castle pulled out the iPad, and she let him, knew he was ordering dinner. "You have AirPrint set up in here, right?" She asked, tabbing through the sites pulled up on the phone.

"Of course," he said, waving the iPad in the air, as if that explained it.

"Writer," she mumbled, because that actually did. He laughed, but it was distracted, so she grabbed the sheets off the printer in his office.

When she returned with it, making our way to the kitchen island, she stopped and stared. In the kitchen he'd pulled out several large containers of main ingredients: flour, sugar, butter. Only it looked like he's gone to a restaurant supply store, or one of those warehouse clubs. Because there was a massive amount here.

Then she spotted the dining table. Her jaw dropped. A good half the surface was covered with bags. Some containers, too. Just about everything she could think of that might possibly go in or on the cookie. Candy, colored sugars and sprinkles. Everything. She shouldn't have that shocked. It is Castle after all. But wow.

"We planning on making cookies for all of New York City?" She asked, amusement bleeding into her voice. Because, yeah, this is Castle all right.

"Just keeping the options open," he said cheerfully.

"Mmmm..."

She walked over to the table, surveying the ridiculous number of options. When she spotted Oreos and Nilla wafers on the tabe, a plan started forming it her mind, and she picked them up, separated them from the rest. Then she pulled out her phone, ran a quick search.

"What are you doing?" He asked, and she could hear the curiosity in his voice.

"Making sure nothing explodes. You order food?"

"Actually, I started to. But for what I have in mind I think I'm going to have to go down there. You sure you can hold down the fort?"

She glanced over the kitchen, and down at the papers in her hands. She walked over, pulled out a couple more staples that he hadn't put out. Dragged his mixer forward, grabbed couple of extra bowls. Some plastic wrap. It didn't hurt the man had everything. Like he does this all the time. Well, but, he did. At least every year right?

"Yeah, I got it. So you want me to just cover the basics, right? Keep the options open," she parrots back.

"Yeah, don't worry if you don't get very far. I mean I know this is the part that's a pain. But I figure if we at least get started. You know? I should be back in like an hour, at the most. There anything else we need?"

She stopped, thought for moment. "Actually, cream cheese? Plain stuff."

He snapped his fingers. "Got it. I don't know why I didn't think about that, it really is the best frosting. Other than that, you good?"

"Yeah, I got it." Really, he had no idea. She suppressed a grin. No idea.

* * *

When he came through the door about an hour later, food in hand, she was just sticking masking tape labels on to the two half sized rolls that were left when she split the flavors on the last batch.

"Hey," she called.

"Hi. Got comfort food. how are you do -" he stopped, peering over the island.

She looked up, saw the look in his eyes. Oh yeah, she did good. "Chocolate base," she pointed out the two darkest rolls, and held up the smaller in her hand. She gestured to the other, lighter, matching set. "Spice." She started moving, putting those in the fridge. "The one with the 5 rolls is the sugar, and those will take anything. Color, flavoring, mix-ins. The others are the chocolate chip and peanut butter."  
He still hadn't said anything, so she kept putting the rolls in the fridge.

"There must be, like 300 cookies worth of stuff here," he said finally. He sounded like he just discovered life on mars. It was cute. At least he wasn't mad. She'd wondered a bit somewhere around the fourth batch.

"336 if the sizing is consistent. But it probably won't be. With cut outs and all." She looked up, grinning. "Too much? I figure it'll all freeze well, anyway."

"No such thing," he said immediately. "But how did you? How -"

She shrugged. "Cookie dough is easy, Castle. And you had the mixer, so that helped. Double batches are painless."

His mouth moved, but no sound came out.

"What?"

"But...there are different kinds, Beckett. How does that not take forever?"

"Variations on the base recipe, Castle. I stared with two bases, and just modified." Honestly, he cooked. Had no one ever taught him to - oh. Maybe, probably not. He cooked because, yeah, Martha really didn't. Or at least maybe shouldn't?

"I've changed recipes before. Yeah, some of them are cool, but -"

"Modifications Castle, not lab experiments."

"Hey, now."

She grinned, coming up to offer him a mollifying kiss. "Come on, Frankenstein, lets move Candy Mountain and get the food out. Your mom and Alexis are going to be -

"Right on time, dear." Martha's voice came first as the door swung open. She ushered her granddaughter through ahead of her, then came to offer Kate a hug.

Kate wasn't used to it yet, even after all this time. But she wasn't complaining. Motherly hugs were so often in short supply for her. "Hey Martha, Alexis."  
The girl was wrapped in her father's hug, but she offered her own bright, "Hey, Kate," and the older woman smiled to herself, pleased to not have to remind her they were on a first name basis now.

"You need to see the fridge, Alexis," Castle said, making Kate's stomach clench. Maybe Alexis would have wanted to help make the cookie dough with her dad. Was it too much? Castle didn't seem to think so, but - she busied herself with clearing. Tried hard not to think do much.

Martha stepped up to help, and Kate took the opportunity to show her the little pile of suppiles she'd set aside, the two recipes.

Martha laughed. "Marvelous, darling, even if Richard will say it's cheating, silly man."

"No way! Besides have you ever had Oreo bonbons? They're amazing. And he's going to love the marshmallow -"

"Wow Dad! What did you -" Alexis voice cut into their conspiring.

"Not, me. Kate, all Kate. And I was gone for like an hour."

She could hear it in his voice, like he was proud of her. She only hoped that Alexis wasn't upset.

The redhead turned to her, eyes wide as saucers. "Oh, my god. Kate, that's...show me? Please? We're supposed to do this thing in my dorm, after finals. Kind of half party, half competition with the other building that's in my program. And nobody wants to do the cookies, and I just knew I'd get stuck with them, and so I volunteered - but this is - you're brilliant."

Kate couldn't help herself, she was grinning at the girl's overwhelmed rush of excitement. She heard her partner's words again, from the a few days before. _Thank you for being good for my kid_. It swamped her then, just for a second.

"Yeah, sure. I mean, you can take the extras back, too, there will be extras. But, yeah, I can do that."

"Thank you!" Alexis's wide grin, her relieved gratitude still had Kate stunned, captive. Martha must have sensed it from where she stood, bless her, because her voice cut through the sudden silence. "Okay, people. Let's eat, we have work to do, you know." She winked at Kate, who smiled back.

"Oh, Dad. Tea & Sympathy. Nice."

"So glad you approve, daughter. Grab stuff."

Kate got a good look at the food as she headed into the kitchen for glasses. Roasted chicken, Mac and Cheese, a massive container of, was that chicken noodle soup? Something he was dishing out with meat and mashed potatoes that looks like cottage pie, and several things with pastry tops that smelled like heaven.

"Take a bit of whatever," he said. "I got a bunch of everything."

"So I can see," she responded, returning to the table hands full of glasses and a pitcher of iced tea. "You do nothing small, do you, Castle?"

He came in close to snag his glass from her. "So says the woman who put like half a ton of cookie dough in my fridge just now."  
She bit her lip, looking down to hide the slight blush she couldn't repress. Yeah, touché.

* * *

"Oh, man Dad. I think Kate's going to whip your tail this year."

Alexis appeared at her shoulder, peering over. "Nice. Three dementional Christmas trees. And oh, cute! There are snowmen melting on the chocolate ones! Dad look at this."

Kate smiled, stuck an orange sprinkle nose on one of her less than fortunate snowmen. Alexis went back to tucking the Reeses minis that Kate had leftover from making their hats in between layers of peanut butter dough and dusting them with cocoa. Kate wanted one, and they weren't even baked yet.

"I didn't know it was a competition." Kate commented.

"Not anymore," Alexis said impishly.

"She's right." Castle's voice was soft as he came up behind her. "I've been bested by the master."

She grinned without looking up. If she moved an inch, she'd be kissing him senseless, and his family...

"Best. Year. Ever," he said.

Yeah, okay. So her snowmen weren't all that were melting.


	9. December 8: Toyland

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.

**AN2**: Did you miss us? Sorry guys, the delay is all my fault. A real life Angels run stole my energy and delayed both pieces. But some very cute children appreciate your patience. Alas, we're coming up on the delivery deadline here in the real world, and the trees are still heartbreakingly full. If you have one near you, and you can, please consider adopting. Trust me when I say, it doesn't have to be nearly this big.

_For CB, because her telepathy is better than an alarm clock._

* * *

Day 9: Toyland

December 8, 2012

* * *

She slipped out of bed at 5:30 the next morning. When he grumbled at her, she hushed him, said she'd see him later. She didn't have to go in on this Saturday, seniority usually gave her the perk of normal weekends. But she wanted to make sure the papers from yesterday's case were in order.

She'd briefly considered handling it by email or phone, knowing that Castle had said something about plans for the day before he drifted off last night. But it would be better just to get her hands on it in person, faster that way.

Besides, she wanted to drop of a box of their varied cookie creations. She'd sent plenty of cookie dough back to Columbia with Alexis, but between the several dozen they had baked and Martha's two kinds, yeah, they were overwhelmed besides, she knew Ryan had traded out a shift so he'd have time to go see family with Jenny later in the month. He'd appreciate it.

* * *

She'd wrapped everything up neatly by 7:15. Even made up a separate little stash of cookies for Ryan, unsure when he started. No sense in him missing out if the early shift made breakfast of them.

Now on to whatever Castle might have planned. That man and his plans were going to undo her. They have already. Making her lighter, and different and more. Why did she ever think she needed that before she could be with him. What she needed was him, it turned out. How had she missed it for do long?

Her phone beeped. She pulled it out and took in the message on the lock screen. Castle, of course. Earlier than she would've expected, though. Just one word this time. Toyland. Well, that was...oh, toys. The last round of the shopping they'd done a few days back. He'd mentioned both the giant Toys R Us in Times Square and FAO Swartz, and she had a feeling her budget might just get blown at the latter. But then, who didn't blow their Christmas budget on an outrageous Christmas toy now and then? Wouldn't be her first time.

You're up early. Excited? She sent, smiling. Man child, yes. But hers, anyway.

His reply came right back, so she knew that he was right there with his phone, texting chat style. Excited to spend the day with you.

Oh, sappy Castle, then. This day was gonna be fun. You just want to ride the Ferris Wheel. She sent it off, and waited. Let him try denying it. She knew better, even if she knew both things were true.

That's just icing on the cake. Coming back for breakfast?

She was already out, though. Half the battle. Excited or not, if she went back to the loft on a Saturday morning, she risked being dragged back to bed. She knew from experience. And god, it's tempting, but...she opened the phone's dial pad, called him rather than texting.

"I take that as a yes?" He asked by way of greeting as soon as he picked up the call.

"Not quite," she answered, "How about we meet at the Starbucks at 47th and Broadway? That way, we can start out a little sooner."

"That sounds wonderful. See you there in about twenty minutes?"

"I'll be waiting," she answered, then she hung up, slid the phone in her pocket, and headed for Starbucks.

* * *

She had both their coffees in hand when he stepped out of the cab, but he didn't see that, or from his movements, her.

"Slow down, Writerboy," she said, as she took a step back. "You're lucky we're both not wearing the coffee."

She watched as he righted himself, amused at the surprise on his face when he looked at her. "You got me coffee?"

"And I got a smile," she said happily, because yeah, he was smiling, and he was right, it felt awesome. She leaned in and kissed him, just because she could do that now.

"Thank you," he said, smiling wider.

She didn't know why he was so surprised. Just because he always – oh, yes, because that was his way of showing her, when he couldn't kiss her good morning, and she just gave him both. Well, damn. She was on a decent roll today.

"So, you ready to hit the toy stores?" she asked.

"Only if you are. They're not as much fun if I'm the only one who's excited about going."

"I've got the kid's lists with me, and I think I know someone who wants a ride on the Ferris Wheel. I'd say I'm pretty excited for the day."

He nodded, and offered his arm to her. "All right. Then we should start making our way to Toys 'R' Us, don't you think?"

Kate had signed out her car after all when she stopped at the precinct this morning, deciding it would be the best way to haul whatever toys they purchased around the city and back home. But they were close enough to the store that they walked from the coffee shop.

Even at the early hour, the Toys "R" Us in Times Square was mobbed with pre-Christmas shoppers. In the end, they decided to take a couple spins on the Ferris wheel – which was more fun than Kate realized it would be – and head straight for FAO Swartz.

It made logical sense to Kate, since the specialty store would have more unique items, and if they needed something more generic there were any number of places to acquire them besides that giant zoo.

"I love this place," he said as they entered, "I can't tell you how many hours Alexis and I have spent in here, just playing around."

She could just imagine. She always could, actually. From the time that he'd talked about taking his daughter to the Museum of Natural History, for games of Indiana Jones exploration among the dinosaurs.

Now? Now that she is seeing more that side of him? The father who would take his tiny little girl to sci-fi convention dressed as Princess Leia to his Darth Vader, or host massive family cookie making marathons, who is more or less fluent in his knowledge of just about every classic children's book? That version of Castle spending the day with his child in a giant toy store? Yeah that's nothing.

And she thinks again: so lucky. Alexis was such a lucky little girl. Any child of his would – will...Stop. Just stop, Kate. Push it back, not the time.

She pulled out the list that she had made of toy related wishes from her collection of angel tags. The infants they had pretty well covered the other day, that left the toddler/preschool aged kids, the younger age kids around second-grade, and the older kids.

Castle and decided that he wanted to start with the younger kids and work his way to the older kids. Since she found that as good a place to start as any, they headed for the preschool age toy section.

They had barely been in the section for more than a handful of minutes, when Castle started pushing buttons. At first it was funny, and some of the things were even kind of cute. But within a matter of minutes, he had activated just about every toy with a button and a sign that said "TRY ME!" and he showed no signs of stopping. God, it was a loud mess. She wondered if they would be kicked out for making people crazy.

Kate grabbed his wrist and pulled it down sharply.

"What do you think you're doing?"

He looked confused. "I.. um... playing?"

He seemed so genuine. And suddenly she realized that it was fueled by desire to play, rather than there to annoy. "Do you have to make them all go off?"

Castle's only word of anything that could even probably be considered an apology was to point out that they had not yet reached the electronics section, where inevitably, there would be more buttons to push. Lovely.

She was only just recovering from that experience when he discovered the little table with some sort of dancing monkey on it. It's silly and ridiculous, but according Castle you can't deny a child dancing monkey.

She wondered what it was with him and monkeys, anyway. Then she remembered the kidnapping case back in the first year. Alexis's favorite stuffed monkey. She wondered if the memory inspired the fascination or something. Maybe it just fit him. She shrugged it off, grabbed the silly thing. It is cute, and fairly practical as a grow-with-me toy, so why not? Table with a dancing monkey? Check.

They still needed something for the toddler age girl, and she spotted a pretty cool looking art table. Picked it up for his approval. The thing has chalkboard surface on one side, whiteboard on the other. Plus a paper roller for permanent art. She figures the girl's feminine sensibilities will appreciate the quieter toy. Or maybe it's just all the button activated noise they've left in the back.

Her brain does check at the idea of giving a kid a whiteboard, and she realized how much her job has warped her brain a little. Jeez, Kate, get a grip. She sets it in the cart while Castle gets the acompaning supply bundle. She's not mentioning the whiteboard. Won't start him up on it.

They move on to the younger primary school kids. "We should get the biggest box of Legos we can find," Castle suggested.

She was all for it, because the store's Lego room is really impressive. When she started to orient herself in that direction now, she spied the area with train sets.

"What about trains?" she asked, "boys that age are into trains, aren't they?"

"Yeah, that would be great!" he said, taking the lead. "I know right where they are! Come on!"

She let him lead her to the section of the store she had spotted, because really she didn't let him do that enough. And he was so clearly excited. He had straight from a larger remote control units, of course. "I love these. I had one when I was growing up, and quite literally, wore it out. It was my fav-"

He spotted a particular set on the back wall, and headed for it immediately. She followed. "The Polar Express! How awesome is that? I used to read the book to Alexis every year, then they came out with the movie, and then we changed our tradition to watch it every year instead."

Castle is inspecting the box, but she didn't even need to look to know that it was the full Lionel O gage set, and honestly well over her per-kid budget for this particular child. But it was amazing, and Castle's enthusiasm was infectious. She could make up the difference. This one had been a genric tag anyway, "age appropriate toy" her only instruction.

Decision more or less made, she turned her attention to her partner. He was still lost in thought. And it occurred to her, he was still thinking about Christmas with his daughter.

"You really miss all that, don't you?" She asked, "Having a little one around the house at Christmas?"

"Yeah," he answered, and she watched him closely, considering his answer. "I do. Christmas is so different when you have kids, and see all the magic and wonder through them. And the Polar Express... well, it's an important part of the holiday, for me, anyway."

Yeah she had a few childhood memories connected to that story too. Mostly the book. She shared the story, mostly to banish the thoughts of little ones that have begun to swirl in her head again.

"I remember my Mom and Dad reading the book to me at Christmas once. They fluffed my pillow behind my head, and made sure I was comfortable before they started. Then, Mom sat on one side of my bed, and Dad was on the other. They both held the book in front of me, and took turns reading the pages. I'm not sure if I even really knew how it ended until the movie came out."

It was a warm happy memory, being sandwiched in the middle of her parents like that. So safe. Unfortunately, it fails miserably at its mission of distraction because the image in her mid shifted just a little and now - damn it, Kate focus.

She reached out and took the box from him. "Anyway, I think it's a great idea. We should make sure the book ends up in his pile too."

It was cute really, the way he hugged her for it. Like she'd given him a present. She should. An idea started to form in her mind.

"We make a pretty good team," he said as they separated. And yeah, they do. It just, it tended to overwhelm her sometimes. Made her crave things. More.

"Girl, about the same age," she said, and it wasn't a continuation of her inner dialogue. It wasn't. "Let's try the Lego room.

While Castle was transfixed by the giant and impressive Lego statues in the room, she went searching for appropriate gift. Though, "Lego city" kind of distracted her, too. God, the detail was amazing. She spotted something and oh, yeah. Perfect.

"Hey, Castle. Check this out." She inspected the box while she waited for him to wander over. This was really cool. Sort of like a building yourself dollhouse.

"Hey, that's awesome. Set right in her age range, too. And the pieces look just a little bigger, so you don't have to worry about her sticking them up her nose."

She sometimes forgot she shared these things. Castle on the other hand never forgot a thing. "She's a couple years older, I'm sure she'll be plenty smarter."

"What actually possesses an incredibly intelligent girl to stick a Lego up her nose anyway?" He asked.

"Defiance, most likely," she said with a rueful laugh. He looked at her as if he could believe that, and she laughed harder.

"Okay, okay. Our middle school boy wants a casterboard." Okay, now that was her kind of cool.

"All right...Roller blades and stuff like that is over here," he said, starting to lead the way. And then, he surprised her.

"I'm not real sure about getting someone else's kid a skateboard. They're not really the safest thing in the world."

She rolled her eyes because, really Castle? "This from the guy who wants to buy the apartment across the street and install a zipline."

Castle stopped in his tracks. "How did you..." He paused, seemed to recall she might keep track of the fan sites. "Still. I'm not so sure."

"If we get all the proper safety equipment to go with it, it will be fine," she said. Seriously, Over Potective Daddy Castle was kinda cute, so she let him focus on the safety stuff, headed to find the boards.

She had heard of these before, but never really had a chance to mess with them. As luck would have it, she found section fairly easily considering there were a number of kids rolling around on the things under the supervision of an employee.

Well, this was cooler than she thought. There was a space for each foot with a kind of pivot connecting them in the middle so it looked kind of like wave shape.

Suddenly, the guy monitoring all the activity was behind her. "Would you like to try it out?"

"Oh, I -" She shouldn't. Right?

"We have an adult one, right over here. Seriously, give it a shot. Playing on these things is the best part of my day."

It...okay, yeah, it looked like fun, do she stepped on. Oh, man. It was cool...smooth, with the design giving it an easy flow of movement that gave her a natural balance. It had been a long time since she'd done anything like this, but it felt amazing.

She did a few small lines and turns, eyes mostly down watching her footwork and for signs of other boards. Then she glanced up and came to a stop.

"Castle?" Crap. He was watching her. She was pushing the board to the side with her foot, trying to look non-chalant about it. "How long have you been there?"

"No need to be embarrassed, Detective, you looked like you were having a good time, so I let you have the moment. So, how was it?"

"I..." she pulled her fingers through her hair and smiled, collecting herself. "It was fun. I think he'll will enjoy it."

"Awesome." Castle found a box with the same model she'd been riding, because the others were for smaller kids. and put it in the cart, then pulled her close, and she melted against him. "You know, I love it when you come out to play like that. You don't have to hide from me, okay?"

"I know. It's just been a long time since I've boarded. I wanted to know if I could still do it."

"You were great. Or at least, I thought so."

"Thanks."

Castle suggested that they check out the stuffed animals for the smaller girls next, and she readily agreed. But then, of course he got distracted by shiny objects. Of course.

She let him for a while, because really she was getting used to it now. But yeah, she drew the line at the dirty joke from that Joss Whedon web movie. In a toy store full of kids? Besides, that man kills off almost all his most relatable characters. Seriously, enough good guys died in real life. This she knew. Too well.

"Wow, Castle, you had to go there, huh?" She rolled her eyes and started to walk away. Let him cool down some. But, oh good lord, the man has found buttons again.

She was one aisle over, the riot still audible, when she spotted another floor model. Oh yes, this was exactly what she needed. She picked it up and made her way back from where she had come.

The Nerf gun was huge, and a little unwieldy, but she was a decent shot even with this thing. She nailed him in the temple before he even looked up. It made her grin.

When he turned make a run for it she nailed him hard in the shoulder, and then, just because she can, square in the butt.

That tripped him up, and sent him down hard. But he was laughing, so she went with it and stayed in character. She hovered over him, gun up, all business. "Go ahead, I need the practice."

That put him over the edge of laughter again, and she goes with him. Because quoting Nikki quoting her? Yeah, very meta, but funny.

"You okay?" she asked, "It looked like you hit the floor pretty hard."

Castle shook his head. "I'll be fine. But really, did you have to shoot my butt?"

Kate shrugged and smiled, "What can I say, it was an easy target. And funny."

"Easy target, huh?" He pulled her next to him, staying just a few inches from her lips, teasing her. "When we get back to the loft, we're going to suit up for a game of lazer tag, and I'll show you how easy a target I can be."

"First thing's first, Writerboy," she pointed in the direction they'd just run from, "We've got toys to buy."

"Oh yeah, there is that." Castle smiled as he took her hand, "We should finish the important stuff, then we can play."

Oh, yeah. She could do that, she could play with him. Because, this had been an amazing day. And it wasn't even over yet...

"Race you to the giant piano?" she asked, grinning. She could play here, too. They had all day.


	10. December 9: Reindeer Games

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.

**AN2**: Double header!

_To CB, The sun will come out tomorrow. May we both sleep long enough to miss it!_

* * *

Day 10: Reindeer Games

December 9, 2012

* * *

She jolted awake almost immediately at the sudden obnoxious buzzing that filled her ears. Kate jumped out of bed, even as she heard Castle slowly come to in response to the racket. She didn't have her gun handy, but long years of training and experience had left her immediately action ready.  
"'you think that's really necessary?" Castle asked. from the bed. "I'm sure it's one of my gadgets I left on. It's not like this hasn't happened before."

"Just let me handle this," she whispered and slipped through the door, cautious not to make any noise that might alert an intruder.

What she found on the other side of the door was more shocking than even that would have been. Sitting on the counter of his kitchen island was breakfast. And it was waiting for them, two empty plates at the ready.

"Hey, Castle, you know anything about this?"

"Breakfast?" he asked, from behind her, then walked into the kitchen. The island was set up with two plate settings, and several platters piled with bacon, eggs, and pancakes.

"I didn't do this, Kate. I don't have a clue... But I don't think I can complain."

She wasn't about to disagree with that statement, but still. This was weird. As he sat down and started making his plate, She wondered how he could so casually focus on breakfast while the awful buzzing continued. Seriously, it was even louder out here.

"I'm sure it was Mother or Alexis, making some sort of deal about leaving us alone for the day," he went on, undaunted.

She found the damned thing, switched it off. He didn't take notice, so she switched her focus to the suspicious little envelope under his plate. "Yeah, look here," she said, picking it up and turning it over in her hand. It was too familiar to be a coincidence, and she gave him a questioning look. "It's like the first one, from the tree lighting. Are you sure you don't know what's going on?"

"I swear, I'm just as surprised as you, and I'm also hungry. Aren't you?" His plate was full, and he took hers and started fill it. She snatched it away.

"I can take care of myself, thanks," Kate grumbled reflexively. But then she felt badly for snapping, so she held the plate as he spooned the eggs on and she put a few slices of bacon on it as well. "Oh, and this," she held up the bright green alien looking timer, "is what woke us up."

"Yeah, okay, I do recognize that. It's something Alexis picked up at the convention..." he got up quickly, almost tipping his stool back. She caught it as he made his way to the counter next to his refrigerator and checked the coffee pot. "I thought I smelled coffee! She really thought of everything, didn't she?"

She smiled at his quick little change of subject. He was still really uptight about running into his daughter at that convention. "What does the note say?"

Kate opened the envelope, getting more confused as she read it.

Today is a day of tea for two,  
Just find the Dormouse and the Mad Hatter's view.

Come on, play the game. It's what the reindeer would do.

And then, she felt around in the envelope, looking for another clue. Sure enough, there was a second note in the envelope. She pulled it out. "I think this one was supposed to come out first, it says 'reindeer games.'"

"I think my daughter has put in her two cents on our little holiday note-passing."

Kate nibbled at her food, and considered the riddle.

"What do you think it means?" Castle asked. "The note, that is."

She swallowed and took the cup of coffee he offered. "It's obviously a clue. She wants us to go to the Alice in Wonderland statue."

"But what this about the reindeer?"

Kate gave that smile where her tongue peeked out from behind her teeth, "I guess we'll find that out when we get to the park. But I don't think it has anything to do with the first part since it's separated." She pointed to his plate, "You need to finish eating so we can leave."

Castle went back to the stool almost immediately, began eating doubletime..

"I didn't mean for you to scarf it down," she said, "I don't want you to get sick on me, especially if we're going to the park."

Not that he took her advice, which wasn't really a surprise. But still. She watched him try to swallow the obviously too hot food, and restrain herself rolling her eyes at him again.

"What about the reindeer games? I can think of a few ideas of how to go about that part..." he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and earned a punch on the shoulder. "You hit hard," he said, rubbing the spot. "Was that really necessary?"

"In your case, yes." He was a ridiculous man, but she was glad.

* * *

Kate let him hold her hand was in his as they walked through Central Park, making their way toward the Alice in Wonderland statue.

She was happy, because it was always nice to get a chance to be out with him without having to think about the protocols of work. But she was also happy because it seems like whatever progress she was making with his daughter was moving forward. After all, why else would the girl have so openly participated in Castle's little experiment in Christmas?

Of course, Alexis had done that before. Given her the suggestion of the hot chocolate in the form of one of these notes. But that was as much an afterthought of an ongoing thing as anything else. This, this was deliberate participation That only be a good sign.

They stopped in front of the statue, both studying it carefully. Kate took out the poem again, and they read it together.

"It says that about the Dormouse and Mad Hatter's view..." Castle looked at the statue. "He's looking at the mushroom."

"And the Dormouse is also on the mushroom," she added, then went to the statue and knelt beside it, looking closely at the pieces.

"Try underneath," he offered, and she slid her hand along the edge of the mushroom.

About halfway around, she stopped and smiled. "I think I found it." After a moment, she pulled the next clue out. Sure enough, it had been taped to the underside of the statue.

Kate opened the envelope and read,  
His story is not about the prize, but the journey.

"That's different," said Castle, "I expected something a little longer, but it still works." He took Kate's hand and started to walk off.

"Where are we going?" she asked, once again letting him lead. After all, he seems to know the way. She was at loss, for once.

"To Balto. Where did you think I was going?"

"I wasn't sure." But as she thought about it, that made perfect sense. There you was with that masterful mileage of children's literature again. She didn't quite know why she found that so endearing, but she did. "But you're right," she concluded in affirmation.

"Of course I'm right," he said smugly. She raised an eyebrow at his tone. "I mean, you know, his story is about the journey... He brought the medicine to the sick kids when the train couldn't make it through," He amended by way of explanation and then squeezed her hand in apology. "Sorry I came off wrong there..."

"It's okay," she said with a small smile, "It's just one of those annoying egotistical quirks of yours I've learned to live with."

"Really?" He chuckled and shook his head, "If you want to go there, I've got a list a mile long for you..."

"Keep dreaming, Castle, you can make up lists all day, but you love every bit about me." She kissed his cheek and ran ahead of him, already thinking of the next clue. "You coming?"

She hadn't felt like this in a very long time. Not been well over a decade. Because by the time they made it to the statue, both of them were a giggling mess.

And while she peered at Balto, trying to find evidence of where the next clue might be, Castle grabbed her by the waist and swung her around, lifting her of her feet and spinning around before setting her down again.

That hadn't happened since she was a little girl. She grinned at him. "What was that for?" she asked. Not that she was complaining. That might have surprised her if she stopped to think about it, but the thing was, she had stopped stopping to think about it.

"Does there have to be a reason for everything?" he asked as he held her close resting his forehead against hers "I like surprising you, and you seemed thoroughly distracted. I just took advantage of the situation."

Kate smiled and rubbed her nose against his before she kissed him. She still had his hand as she stepped closer to the statue of Balto.

"What do you think?" he asked, "I'm not sure where to start," then, off her look, "Other than, obviously, the next clue."

Kate shrugged, "I would try looking around the statue. It has to be somewhere around it, or Alexis wouldn't have sent us here."

After a few moments, Castle started to climb up the base toward the statue. When he was nearly there, a spark of inspiration struck Kate and she called out, "Castle, look behind his front right paw."

He started to, then looked at her, "My right or his?" When she rolled her eyes in response, he waved at her off. But really, Castle? "Nevermind. I'll check both paws," he said in reply to her unspoken question.

He examined the area carefully and then called back, "How did you see that from down there?" he asked, "I could barely tell it was there, and I'm right beside the statue."

She grinned at him. Ten points for her to deductive reasoning skills. "Who's the detective?" She asked impishly.

"Always you," he replied as he gently pulled the envelope off of the statue.

"Yep, it's ours," he said, then climbed down the rock. He walked back to her, "Let's see where we're headed next," Rick said, and tore the edge of the envelope open, pulled the paper out, then read:

The dog on Gargoyles is named for this part of the city.  
We haven't been there in so long, it's quite a pity.  
You'll find it's best to go by car,  
To find the place where the animals are. (5 PM)

At the same time, Kate and Castle said, "Bronx!"

"You watched Gargoyles?!" His voice nearly squeaked with surprise. Really, he was cute.

"Yeah," she answered. All the kids did in her class back then. Sure they were teenagers, but it was just funky and unreal enough to not bug them that it was a cartoon. "Everyday after school."

"That's so awesome!" He picked her up again, but instead of swinging her around he brought her down slowly, leaving a trail of kisses up her neck and across her jaw, stopping at her lips. It was nice. She never quite understood why displaying her geeky side affected him this way, but she liked it.

When they stepped apart, he asked, "What about the next part? Do you-"

"It's the zoo," she answered, "The Bronx Zoo. It all makes sense now. Come over here."

Castle followed her to a nearby bench, and sat beside her. Kate pulled out the papers. "The first note has the line about reindeer-"

"And this one refers to the Bronx," he continued, "It has to be the Bronx Zoo."

She smiled, "Because they always have Santa's Reindeer there after Thanksgiving."

Really, Kate was impressed. Alexis has put together a little scavenger hunt quite well. And considering that the girl was in the midst of finals, that was saying something. He touched her to think that she would go to the trouble.

She startled when his stomach growled loudly. It surprised her, because it felt as if they just eaten breakfast. But then again, they had meandered through the park and rather leisurely way. Just enjoying alone time together between clues.  
"Maybe we should grab a bite for lunch, before we go on to the zoo? I don't know about you, but I'm starved," Castle suggested.

"That sounds great," she agreed and looked at her watch. "I didn't realize we've been out here so long, Castle. It's nearly one o'clock. But we have more than enough time." Yes, she wants to go to lunch with him. To sit and linger, and then walk it off on familiar city steers while they wait.

Castle smiled as he stood and offered her his arm "M'lady?"

Oh he was pouring on the charm today. She smiled brightly and she excepted farm, leaning in and she stood next to him.

"You okay, Castle?" she asked, after a moment. He was too quiet.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just getting caught up in the moment," he smiled, "I don't think I could be happier."

She agreed. It was a beautiful day, and they were enjoying themselves. She bit her lip, thinking hard. Because for the life of her, she couldn't think of away she could possibly thank Alexis enough for this.

* * *

The cab pulled up to the zoo, and they made their way to the entrance. She waited as Castle dealt with admissions. He was a member and had said he could sign her in as a guest. It's after regular zoo hours now, but the crowds are still gathering for the evening's holiday display.

As soon as they were through at the admissions counter, Castle opened the zoo map and found where the reindeer were located.

"We're not far," he said, "Why don't-"

"Dad! Kate!"

Kate barely had time to register the surprise of finding Alexis waiting for them before his daughter had wrapped the two of them in a group hug.

"I'm so glad you guys made it!" she said, then stepped back, still holding onto their hands. "Come on, the best part is this way!"

"How long have you been here?" Castle asked, and Kate felt a rush of regret. If they had known she was waiting here for them, they might have hurried along a bit more. But, Alexis doesn't seem to mind.

"A while, but I've been inside, so you don't need to be concerned about me being outside in the cold, Dad."

Kate suppressed a grin. She might personally find his overprotective fatherly side charming, at times even adorable. But she knew well enough but the same was probably not true for his daughter.

"I didn't-" he tried.

"You 'didn't say it' very loudly," Kate cut in, squeezing his hand, "Your concern is all over your face. It's a wonder you win as often at Poker as you do."

"Looks like you've found a way to keep Dad quiet," Alexis joked, smiling so innocently at him. "Just hit him with the truth."

"Yeah, just wait until you have kids. You'll see..." Castle quipped and then his face seemed to contort in horror. Kate couldn't blame him for the reaction, what was he thinking? "No, let's not have this conversation. Where are the reindeer exactly?"

Kate and Alexis both burst out laughing. That was not smoothest of transitions, Kate thought. But it was funny… And kind of cute.

"You know," Castle said slowly as he reached out and put an arm around each of them, drawing them in close. "I am so happy to see the two of you working together to torment me, but you have to know that I'm going to remember all this. It will come back to haunt you."

They just laughed harder, and connected as they all were, it made balance a difficult thing to maintain. Kate snuck a glance at Alexis and by mutual agreement they each hooked an arm through his.

They walked along in companionable slice that made Kate feel lighter. These last several days had been incredible. Little by little she'd found uncertainty and insecurity fading away.

Before long, Castle saw the sign that pointed them in the direction of the reindeer. "We're almost there!" he exclaimed, and Kate grinned wider. She loved his excited side, too. Just not always on duty.

As they walked, the bushes and holiday fixture suddenly erupted with lights.

Both women gasped in surprise.

"Oh Castle, this is beautiful," Kate said softly, and she reached over to touch his daughter's arm, "And thank you, Alexis, for bringing us out here."

"You're more than welcome, Kate," she answered as she hugged her dad, "I had a feeling this would be something you'd both enjoy." She then took a step ahead of them, pulling Castle along by his arm, "Come on, they're just around the corner!"

Castle nearly fell, but found his feet before she got too far ahead. They fast-walked behind Alexis, and followed the crowd of other people all going to see the reindeer.

And just like his daughter said, just around the corner, the trees and plants parted to an enclosed meadow holding the twelve reindeer. Several of them were almost close enough to touch.

"This is great," he said, "I'd forgotten how big they can get."

Suddenly Castle let go of her and began brushing at himself. What on earth was that about?

"What's going on, Castle?" Kate asked, "You all right?"

"He's fine," Alexis answered, "It's snowing!"

"Wow Castle, creepy weather control part two," Kate bumped her hip into his, and when he looked over at her, she had her head tilted back and her tongue sticking out. She stopped when his eyes met hers and said, "You gonna taste the snow this time?"

Alexis laughed and stepped away from him to twirl in the snowfall. "Come on, Dad. Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine," he said, lifted his head toward the sky, and smiled.

Suddenly, he stretched his arms out to his sides and gathered them into a group hug. "I've never felt better than I do right now, in this moment," he said.

Kate hadn't either. At this point neither of them would make it to Christmas.


	11. December 10: Lights

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.!

_ CB: this one was your baby, hope I did it justice._

* * *

Day 10: Lights

December 9, 2012

* * *

"Castle, you coming?" She spared a glance over her shoulder to find him still in his chair, eyes closed. She kept walking though. She trusted him to follow.

"Yeah, I'll be right there." His voice was a bit more weary than was normal for her usually exuberant partner. He'd had another bad night, and she had originally suggested that he stay home today, try to recover some sleep. He insisted he'd be fine though, so she'd let him come in, suspecting he didn't want to be alone today.

She looked over at him, sympathy tempering her irritation. He really shouldn't have come in, but at least there hadn't been field work. She'd have had to send him home for that. But they were mostly running support for one of the other teams, so it was mostly a wash, even if she did have to fend off the captain's questioning looks.

"You really didn't sleep all that great last night, did you? You still look like you just woke up." she said as she ruffled her fingers through his hair. "I hope you're up for tonight's activity."

"What did you have in mind?" he asked, and she questioned her own words as he struggled to suppress another yawn. Maybe tonight wasn't a good night for this. On the other hand, if anything could rouse him...

She decided to go for it, taking his hand and tucking the slip of paper inside. Then she leaned up, kissed his cheek. Come on, Castle, she thought. Dig in for me, this is gonna be fun.

Kate watched the jolt go through him as he realized at least a bit of what she was up to.

"Lights?" he asked, and the lightly pained tone in his voice brought a smile to her lips.

"Yes, lights," She said and handed him the large bag she had in her hand.

"What's in it?" he asked, hefting the bag as if testing it's weight.

The smile turned into a smirk when she answered, "Open it and see." That said, she turned and walked out of the elevator.

Kate watches as Castle tries to open the bag right there in the evening darkness, gapeing at what he does see. She hailed a cab, tried to corral him a little. "Castle, there's a cab stopping here, so wait until we get inside."

"Oh, okay," he answered, and grabbed the bag.

When he got beside her, she opened the door and let him slide into the backseat. He held up the bag, "What does a taxi ride have to do with this?"

"Scoot over, and I'll think about telling you," she said as she slid in beside him.

He opened the bag again and sifted through the objects in inside while she gave the cab driver directions to her place.

"A black leather jacket, and...leather pants?" From the catch in his voice, Kate could tell that he was excited, even if he doesn't get it yet. And he's obviously more awake.

"Yeah, something like that."

"We're going out on your bike? But, I'm still confused. What does this have to do with lights?"

She rolled her eyes. "Look out the window, Castle. What do you see?"

"It's dark."

"Anything stand out?" she asked, amazed that he would choose now of all times to be maddeningly literal.

"The buildings are decorated, but it's the holidays. Other than that, I got nothing."

Kate put her hand on his thigh and gave it a firm squeeze. "We're going to change when we get to my place, then I'm taking you out for a night on the town, and all around it." He looked at her, and she grinned up at him, excitement fizzing though her. Poor thing, he was running a little slow today, wasn't he? "To look at Christmas lights, Castle. You really are tired, aren't you?"

"A little, but I bet after I get a some caffeine in me, I'll be fine."

They reached her building, so she slid her card though the back seat mounted reader and slid out after him.

"The cold air might help me snap out of it, too," he added as they entered her building.

Kate shook her head, and pointed at the bag, "That's why I got those for you. So you don't freeze before the night's out."

"Um... exactly how long is this ride going to last?" he asked.

She gave him a brief once-over and arched here eyebrow. She never asked this many questions about his crazy plans. "Until it's over," she said, and opened the door. "Come on in. I'll get the coffee going while you change."

"Okay," he said as he walked into her bedroom.

She started the coffe while he changed, pulling down a pair of silly mugs he had given her a few years back that had never gotten so much use as they did now that they are together. They made him happy, and that's the theme of the evening.

Going out on the bike always quieted the noise in her mind, stripped away everything beyond the immediate moment. That was what he needed tonight.

She filled the mugs and headed black to the bedroom. She spotted Castle, chaps in hand, and a look on his face that left her in little doubt where his mind was.

"Quit thinking about it, and put them on," Kate said as she entered the room, even as something like an answering grin crossed her face.

She walked over and reached for one of the legs, "Here, let me help. You look a little overwhelmed." She unzipped the sides of the legs and handed the chaps back to him.

Quickly, Castle stepped into the chaps, then buckled them on and zipped the sides. He put on his jacket at the same time Kate donned her chaps. When he turned around, she went into her closet and dug around for a moment, then pulled out a helmet that she handed to him.

"Hope it fits," she smirked as she left the room. she was surprised when he didn't turn it into a bantering match about his ego. He really wasn't on his game tonight, was he? She hoped whatever kept him up wasn't more Tyson induced nightmares.

"Thanks," he said, when finally she handed him his coffee. She watched as his face brightened just a bit at the mug she'd chosen, then took a long drink. He looked like he'd gotten a reprieve from a firing squad. She knew that feeling well.

It was quiet as they finished the coffee. Kate took his empty cup and put it with hers in the sink. "Don't forget to grab your gloves and scarf as we go," she said.

"I won't, Mother," he answered, and she smirked at the slight bite he'd put on his words. He complied readily enough though, going over to the closet and pulling on his gloves and wrapped the scarf around his neck. "Better?" he asked.

"Yes, but now I need you to put the helmet on. I want to make sure it's big enough for your head," she dead-panned. She went for the blunt approach this time, just to see if he really was more alert.

"Very funny. The detective's become the comic." Castle pulled on the helmet. It fit just fine, and all joking aside, Kate was glad. If they were going to do this, she needed him to be safe. The thought sent her nerves fluttering in a way that they hadn't since their first few cases together.

"Hey," Castle said, breaking into her thoughts, "thanks for all of this. It didn't cost-"

Kate shook her head, "Don't even finish that question. It was my pleasure to get all of this for you, and I had fun doing it. I mean, it's not like this is the only time we're ever going to take a ride." She stepped up to him and lifted his visor to kiss him. "Besides, you look hot in leather."

"Same goes for you," he replied, "we must make one hot couple."

Kate took her helmet off of the counter and started through the door.

"You coming, Castle?"

"Yeah, right there behind you," he answered. She needed to stop the train he was putting her thoughts on - fast. They had a ride to take first.

She let him have his moment to gawk, even as his application flooded her blood with warmth. She had teased him about this once, but she'd failed to factor in what he could do to her with just that look in his eyes.

"Get on, Castle," she said just as she kick-started the Softail and the engine rumbled into life.

He came back to his senses and straddled the bike behind Kate, then put his hands on her hips. She moved them up to her waist. "You're going to have to keep them here," she said, "You don't want to be too much of a distraction, do you?"

"Where are we going?"

"We'll see the big stuff first, Macy's, Bloomingdale's, and Sak's, since we missed that a few days ago," she said over her shoulder. "After that, I thought we'd check out Dyker Heights and see what's going on there this year."

She wanted to give him enough time to really get a feel for it - and see the lights - without totally wearing him out. Yet.

"Wow... that's just... thank you?" he said, sounding like she'd handed him far more than a night out on her bike.

Kate leaned back against him slightly, trying to make contact without throwing off their positions on the bike. "No problem. Just hold on, and don't do anything stupid." She knew he had it in him to be serious when he needed to be. She just hoped he realized that this was one of those times.

"I'll try," he promised and she felt him tighten his hold on as she put the bike into gear and rolled through the garage and down onto the street.

Kate wove through traffic, making it a fairly quick trip to Fifth Avenue, and the brightly decorated buildings lining the busy area. Sure, it was a touristy choice, but it was still dazzling, especially from the bike.

As they passed Sak's, Castle held her a little tighter. The message, and the memory weren't lost on her. It was one of her reasons for choosing this route.

She continued on down the avenue, past the other decorated stores and buildings. And as usual for this part of the city, traffic was thick.

At one point, the were at a stand-still, and she turned toward him. "I'm gonna get out of here. You okay with that?"

When he nodded in agreement, Kate began weaving between the cars and other vehicles to escape out of the area. she was pleased that he took the rapid changes in stride, and soon she had worked them clear of the worst of the traffic and they made their wayout of Manhattan.

Castle was clinging to her tightly, but she could tell it wasn't out of nerves or fear, just distraction. That was okay. That was what she wanted, after all.

As they got into the more residential parts of the city, houses and apartments held decorated charms all their own. And it was always a strange experience to see the lights whip by from the vantage point of the bike.

Between the swirling lights and the windswept cold, she was greatful for the solid presence of her partner at her back. It kept her grounded and focused in a way she wasn't always when she rode, though she should be. He was good at grounding her, really and she was greatful. She hoped he knew that.

They reached Dyker Heights and it's myriad of amazing displays. They were quiet as they took it in, stopping briefly to get the best effect.

They crept down the street, keeping a good distance between them and the car ahead.

One house had outlined each of their trees in pale blue lights, almost to the tiniest of branches. Kate must have been looking at the same. "Must be nice, having the time or money to wrap so many lights around a tree."

"I'm not sure if I'd want to do it, even if I do," he answered.

"I know, right?" she said, then moved along to the next house.

Off in the distance, she could hear music playing, and it got louder as they approached. it turned out to originate at a house surrounded by angels and a sleigh, complete with reindeer, set in midair as if flying.

Castle tapped her on the shoulder, then pointed at the sleigh. "Isn't it great?" he asked, and she nodded in reply.

Kate went back to her building a different way from which they came, and found a handful of decorated spaces. It had been a great night, and judging from how relaxed Castle seemed, her goal for the evening was accomplished.

When she stopped at a red light, Kate called over her shoulder, "Gotta stop by my place for a few, then we can go to the loft. That okay?"

"It's fine," he said, then hugged her before she took off again. "I've had a great time, Kate."

"Night's not over yet, Castle," she said, but most of the sound was swallowed up by her helmet, and the engine, and the night. But that didn't matter. He'd find out soon enough.


	12. December 11: Gingerbread

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.!

_CB: thanks for helping me wear out the hug button on Yahoo everyday._

* * *

Day 11: Gingerbread

December 10, 2012

* * *

Kate was surprised to be pulled awake by the smell of coffee. She pulled an afternoon to evening shift today, had switched off for it, so she could make the Angel Tree Dropoff this morning. The items she had ordered for her Senior Angels had finally come in, and she'd brought them with her to the loft after their ride the night before.

But there isn't enough light in the bedroom for it to be past 6 AM, and really, Castle? Had he forgotten to set the timer for later today? She grunted a little and reached out for him, just to nudge him awake with her. But his side of the bed, maddeningly, is empty.

He was up. What the hell? Yesterday she could barely keep him awake, and now he's up before the sun? The ride last night must have been more effective than she thought.

She sighed, because as badly as she wanted to just roll over and go back to sleep, she knew she was awake now. Castle probably did too, damn it. He knew that she couldn't sleep through the smell of coffee. Of course he did. That was probably why there was coffee.

She let her feet hit the floor reluctantly, and the cold jolted her, clearing the last of the fuzz from her mind. Oh, but he had left he slippers right by her side of the bed. Softening her up for something, then. She hit the bathroom, then followed the scent of the coffee.

"Castle, what are you doing?" she asked, and yes, all right, she might have been whining a little. But come on. "We aren't even supposed to go in until one."

"I know, and that makes the timing of my plans fortuitous. Or maybe that's the timing of your shift. Don't know. But either way, it's good." He was far too chipper as he handed her the cup of coffee he'd just finished making up for her.

"Because?"

"Reservation is for 7:30."

He didn't even elaborate. Just grabbed his own coffee and stepped around her. If he saw her gaping at him, he didn't give ant sign. "You should probably get ready," he called over his shoulder as he moved through his office to the bedroom.

"What for?" She asked with a resigned sigh. It was then that she noticed that he was almost completely dressed. Whatever this was, he wanted it pretty badly.

"Best breakfast in the city."

Well, she could do that. But - "I have to drop the stuff off at the mall before shift."

"I know," he called, "the stuff is down in the car already. You know Max will keep an eye out while we eat. Get dressed Beckett."

He'd called the car service for this? And loaded the gifts in already? She hustled then. Castle may have been paying him, but she hated the idea of poor Max having to wait on her. Silly, but -

"Kate!"

Yeah, she was on it. "Ready in ten, Castle. Cool it."

* * *

Norma's at Le Parker Meridien was a place Kate had heard of, but never been. Pricey, yes, but Castle hadn't been kidding. It had a very widespread reputation as the best breakfast in the city.

Having been to the considerably less pricy "Burger Joint" in the same hotel, she didn't have any trouble believing it. But it all seemed a bit much for a Tuesday morning before work.

Castle ordered them orange juice and coffee before she has even opened her menu. She read the item descriptions with interest, because there were just so many creative options. She steadfastly avoided looking at prices. For whatever reason, Castle was excited, and if he wanted to spend a small fortune to take her to breakfast early on a Tuesday morning, there was probably a reason.

"So, what prompted this?" She asked, because even if she wasn't about to start a fight over it, she wanted to know why.

Castle looked up from his own menu. "Oh! Yeah, the important part." He pulled something from his pocket, and even as he handed it to her across the table, she knew what it was. An envelope. Ahh...so this was part of his holiday master plan. Well, that explained plenty.

She opened it, and removed the note. "Gingerbread?" she asked curiously. It was one of the rare things she hadn't spotted on the menu.

"For later, Beckett. What are you going to have?"

She sipped at her orange juice - though choosing between that and the French press he'd ordered was a tough choice, both were amazing - and considered her options. There was some sort of chocolate based French toast that kept trying to tempt her, but she'd already given Castle an eye roll over some chocolate peanut butter waffle concoction he kept mentioning.

"Potato Pancakes," she decided, because they won some kind of foodie award, and the sides sounded amazing. Castle looked at her for a long moment, until the waiter arrived.

She ordered her meal, and was surprised when Castle order the chestnut pancakes instead of his much talked of chocolate waffle. Then, he leaned over and said something starting with "Also..."

She hoped he wasn't ordering the one thing she had noted the price on, some seafood frittata with caviar that was $1000, and she had assumed to be more of a joke than a serious offering. Because, seriously if he orders that, she just might kill him. She hoped she was successful at conveying that with her eyes.

"So, you made reservations at the earliest of hours because we have to be somewhere after this involving gingerbread?" She asked, not so much because she was fishing for clues as the need to fill some time before the food arrived.

"Yes, although, I didn't plan on having quite this much time when I planned it. As I said earlier, fortuitous."

So, he'd been planning this for a while, had even planned to fit it in around a regular schedule. That was interesting. And endearing. Because whatever this was, he'd really laid on the effort to make it work for her.

The filled the remainder of the wait with chatter about what Alexis was up to with finals, and the fun they'd had on the impromptu scavenger hunt she'd set up for them a few days back.

When the waiter did arrive at their table, he carried three plates. Kate felt her stomach twist a little. But when the third plate was laid in the center of the table, it's the chocolate French toast she'd been eyeing. She stared at him even as he assured the waiter that they had everything they needed.

"It's what you wanted, right?" He'd phrased it as a question, but his tone is light, certain.

"How did you even -" then she realized that if he didn't know, she'd just confirmed it. Her mouth snapped shut. He grinned. Damn.

"Seemed like you might enjoy it, of all the things in that section of the menu your eyes were drifting to. But then I figured you wouldn't get it yourself. Not after the scorn you showed the chocolate wafflewhich.

A thought occurred to her. "You changed your order after you realized I wanted it, didn't you?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

He shrugged. "It was a toss up, and I didn't want to overload on the chocolate, so this seemed like a good balance. Can always try it next time."

They dug into their food then, and the portions were so massive Kate was fairly certain she wouldn't be able to finish her meal, let alone anything extra. But in the end, they ended up working all three plates between them. Everything was good. Amazing, really. Normally, she would scoff at Castle's notion of a next time, but she certainly wouldn't turn it down.

When the waiter brought the bill, he handed it to Castle, and then, after a quiet word from him, he handed Kate a second slip of paper. A slow smile appeared on her face and she read it. It was some sort of ballot, for voting on the best gingerbread sculpture in the hotel's display. She wondered briefly, if she is missed the display on her way in.

When she looked up at Castle, he was grinning too. "So, there's that. I thought it would be fun, and dining in the restaurant earns you a vote. Plus, it really was the best breakfast in the city."

After the meal they had just had she wasn't about to disagree. "Still, if I end up chasing suspects after this, I doubt I'll be able to thank you quite as much."

He laughed, and then led her toward the gingerbread display. She was almost certain she hadn't missed this on the way in. This would be nearly impossible to miss.

There were an enormous replicas of the Great Sphinx, the Lincoln Memorial, a Mexican temple and others. In the end, however they gave their vote to something just a little more personal.

Someone had created a replica of a portion of a crane hanging precariously from a city skyscraper. It had been headline news during the recent storms. It was an interesting way to remember the event that was still traumatic for most who lived in the city. Even those like she and Castle, who were fortunate enough to have escaped the experience with their lives more or less unscathed.

* * *

When they reached the mall, Max pulled into a standing zone and helped them unload. The mall had no real parking to speak of, beyond a few metered spaces nearby.

"Oh Max, you don't have to," she insisted as he picked up several of the larger packages and made to follow them in.

"Not a problem, Detective. Especially for a good cause," Max replied.

She nodded then. "You let me know if anyone gives you trouble about the car."

The driver tipped his hat in her direction and followed them in.

When the approached the table it was Lisette who met them with, "Oh, Katie. Goodness!"

Kate smiled in greeting, and Max promised to meet them out front in 10-15 minutes and departed.

They sift through the bags a little, Lisette making a note of the contents of everything that she had brought in her binder, checking all necessary places next to each set information she'd carefully recorded almost a week before.

After she had separated the bottom portion with each child's information on it from Angel at the top of the tag, and put the information cards with the right items, she handed Kate the remaining portions of the tag. The angels, and the bit of ribbon that turned them into a tree ornament.

"You did good Kate," she said. "I'm on delivery runs this week, and I hope I get to deliver some of these. The looks on the children's faces will be more priceless than usual."

They chatted together for a few more minutes, and then Kate quickly excused herself to the ladies room. When she returned, she found Lisette smiling slightly at something Castle had said. Whatever it was played just a moment on grandmotherly woman's face. But she wasn't certain entirely something was up until Castle turned to her, his face all too carefully blank.

"What are you two up to," Kate asked.

"Nothing," they both said unison.

If it had been possible to convince Kate before that they weren't up to something, it must certainly wasn't now. Still, she let it go.

They made their goodbyes to Listte and headed out, not wanting to keep Max waiting. When they got to the car, Kate checked her watch. It was only a little before eleven. Early reservations apparently had their advantages.

From the seat next to hers, Castle leaned over. "If you're looking for a way to kill the remaining time before work, we can always go back to the loft and work off breakfast."

She only had to give it a moment's thought before taking him up on it.


	13. December 12: Snowman

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.!

**AN 2**: I'm aware my numbering has been off lately, but the chapters were right. Hopefully I've got my stuff straight now.

_CB: And now, I own a coat! (Johnny Vong style, baby! Whew!)_

* * *

Day 13: Snowman

December 12, 2012

* * *

It still felt like one of those calm before the storm days that made Kate jumpy. Too many days without a major case, and in just in general too many good days. The feeling something had to give.

She was not exactly proud of herself for the feeling, so she tried to stuff it down. Hope that it will resolve itself. It's another day that felt more like busywork than anything else. But at least this time while she was meandering through the paperwork, Castle was there with her.

When she came back to her desk from picking up some files, she found Castle rummaging through her drawer again. This time she didn't even bother admonishing him. Chances were after all these years, it wouldn't do any good. And besides, he had a point: by now, He had seen what would qualify as most of her private stuff. He backed off though as soon as she approached her desk.

Kate was reading an email, when Castle stepped forward and stuck a sticky note to the middle of her computer screen. "It's almost time for lunch. You want to go out to the park for a little while, enjoy the weather while we eat?" he asked from behind her.

"You know it's freezing out there, right?" She asked, leveling a look his way, before turning her attention to the note. "Snowman?" What on earth was he up to now.

"Well, yeah," he answered, "but there's no wind, so it doesn't feel like it's freezing. Don't you like walking in the park right after a good snowfall? The snow covers the statues and sometimes, if it's the right time of the day, there aren't many people out there... it could be fun!"

It still surprised her how much she loved his optimism, his sense of fun, even after all these years. Even though she had known that much sense long before she knew that she loved him. At times when she had felt so strung out like this, she would swear it was the last thing she needed. But she knows better now. He was exactly what she needed. She shrugged and reached for her coat, "Sure, why not."

"Awesome!" he said, helping her into her coat. It used to be the thing she let him do, the rare intimacy where there was none. Now she just relished the contact. The way his finger lingered just a second longer against her neck than was strictly neccessary or polite as he freed her har from the collar.

When he headed for the break room, she raised an eyebrow in question. "I'll be right back. My coat's in here," he explained. Well, that was odd.

It required more effort than she ever would have thought that she possessed not to laugh. He looked like the Staypuff Marhmellow Man.

"Mother brought it home last night, and I couldn't not walk out of the loft without it on this morning," he explained, "She was up early, for her. I tried to sneak..."

she nodded, understanding, at least a bit. A gift from his mother, what could he do, really? It was sweet. But it was also ridiculous.

"Go ahead, laugh. At least, if I wear this at night, instead of one of my darker-hued coats, I have a smaller chance of being hit by a car."

she tried for deadpan, hoping it would stave off the impending laughter. "That, and if you're walking on the sidewalk, like a normal person, you have an even smaller chance of being hit. What kind of logic is that?"

"You know what, I think I'm going on this walk alone..." As he started to walk off, she felt that same edge of panic she felt every time she watched him walk away. Ever since that first time she'd kicked him out, before she would have ever have admitted to it. He was kidding. She knew that. Still -

"Oh Castle, you know I'm only teasing. It's a nice coat." But then, she couldn't help it, she just had to. "For an abominable snowman."

"Thanks," he dead-panned, "Are we going, or not?"

"We're going." instinctively she reached out to take his arm, but she caught herself at the last moment. She was a few steps ahead of him and turned, "Okay, maybe I'm the only one going. You comin', Castle?"

"Yeah, I'm there." He caught up to her in a few strides.

Just as they got to the elevator, the doors opened and Esposito walked out. He did a double-take at the sight of Castle.

"Dude, you need me to paint a target on the back of that for you?"

"Are you saying I'm an easy mark?" She shot a look at Espo.

"You said it, not me, bro." He smiled and continued on to his desk.

But when Castle joined Kate in the elevator, she was biting her lip once more. "Go ahead and laugh, Kate," he said, "It's okay, I'm playing along, really. You're not going to hurt my feelings. I'm kind of glad you want to laugh, to be honest. Today's been..."

"A day," she finished as she stepped forward and hugged him. "But it's much better since you're with me." It was true. He'd taken her earlier words to heart, been right here working with her, even when he didn't have to be.

"Thanks," he said, and they stepped apart with the sound of the bell.

* * *

Vendor hotdogs where the sort of things most New Yorkers she knew joked about, then found themselves grabbing anyway in a pinch. Castle of corse loved them. Typical. So, she joined in, even as she craved a pretzel, dispute the snack's perennial ability to emit a scent from the cart that suggested it had been set on fire.

They had finished their hot dogs and tossed their trash into a trash can just as the trees opened into one of the meadows.

They were almost completely alone out here. It should have set off all of her earlier trepidation, but it didn't. Instead, being alone in this while winter world with him was having an unexpected calming effect.

"There are a few tracks, but wow... I haven't seen it so untouched, ever," said Castle, then he walked off the path. "Come on, it's the perfect spot. Let's make a snowman."

Kate didn't argue, just followed him out and started packing the snow when he did. Why not? It had been years since she'd done this. "I haven't done this in a long time," she said after a few minutes.

"It's been a year, or two, since I have," he admitted,

Kate stopped what she was doing. "You and Alexis didn't come out and play in the snow?"

"We did, but I know I've started a lot of conversations with 'Alexis and I' recently. I figure, by now, I've almost worn that phrase out."

Did her really just? She cathered a handful of snow, packed it lightly and lobbed it at him. If that man didnt know better by now, he deserved it.

"You will never wear that phrase out with me," she said, just as another snowball hit him on the arm. "What's up with you, Castle?"

"I don't know?" he asked, and it was a hell of a time for such uncertainty if you asked her. He launched a snowball of his own, but it missed her completely.

"I really enjoy your family. They're very special," hit on the leg, "I hope that, maybe, they like me too," near miss to the head and shoulder.

She kept lobbing, pelting. As if, maybe the snow could knock sense Ito him.. Because really, she an Alexis have come so far lately, and now he's clamping up about his kid on her? He's always been able to talk about Alexis with her

"They like you a lot," he said, "I just know they can be overwhelming at times. They're overwhelming to me, and I've lived with them most of my life. In Mother's case, ninety nine percent of my life." He was going for humor, she knew. Trying to change course. No dice, Castle.

She stood over him, trying to convey it all, not really knowing what to say as she cradled her arsenal of snowballs protectively. He was still flat on his back, and she loomed over him.

He moved his arms above his head in surrender and said, "Apples?"

Slowly, she smiled, and dropped the snowballs to the side as she knelt beside him. "Listen, Cas- _Rick_. I know Alexis is your daughter. Nothing's going to change that, _I_ don't _want_ to change that. I know there are things the two of you do and it's fine. I get it, really. I've got things I do with my dad."

Then, with it all out there and said and nothing really to be done, she turned her attention to one of the more soothing of wintertime memories from her childhood.

"Are you okay?" he asked, even as she landed on her back in the snow, carefully making a snow angel on the ground.

"I'm making a snow angel, since our snowman fell to pieces."

He dropped down next to her, joining in. "See? Now tell me, when was the last time you made a snow angel with your daughter?"

"It's been a long time," he said and then he smiled. Castle smiled and tried to sit up, but between the huge, puffy coat, and how deep he was in the snow, it wasn't going to happen easily. But, he was able to move easier than before. "Little help?" he asked, and reached toward her.

And it must have dawned on her then. Her hands were over her mouth and she tried not to smile. "You're really stuck, aren't you?"

"Yeah, just a bit," he admitted, "So you know, any help you can give will be, you know, helpful."

"I think I like you there," she said as she moved closer, "You're a lot quieter when you're stuck in the snow. And," she brushed her lips across his, "I'd like to see if I can make this abominable snowman growl."

Before Kate could get away, he had his arms around her and pulled her down with him, kissing her like it was the first time all over again.

When he let her pull away for a breath, he said, "You know I can growl, but do you really want to try that out here, in the snow?"

She smiled just before she kissed him again. "I will say that it's tempting," Kate said when she finally broke away from him, "but with the kind of luck we have, it would cause more trouble than it's worth. And besides, we need to get back to the precinct."

"That's exactly what I was thinking." He immediately missed her warmth when Kate got off of him and dusted off.

He shuffled around in the snow, and finally managed to get into a sitting position. When she offered her hand, she said, "You know, you're really pitiful sometimes. Come on, Partner." Pitiful, but cute.

Castle took her hand and got to his feet with her help, then pulled her in for another kiss. "Thank you," he said, then kissed the back of her hand. "That was the most fun snowman I've ever not made."

Kate laughed at him again and started to dust the snow off of his back. "Yeah? Well, if all goes well, it can be the first of many not-made snowmen."

"That sounds like a deal," he said, and took her hand in his as they walked back to the trail.

They were a few feet from the path when she added, "Besides, you do a pretty good snow angel... for an abominable snowman."

"Hey!" He leaned into her, but the gesture was more a hard shove than a bump. Oh, he was going to regret that. Using their joined hands and her body weight to her advantage, she had him on the ground in seconds.

She let the weight of his body and gravity pull her down on top of him, pinning him.

"But you're _my_ abominable snowman," she said possessively. And then she leaned in and claimed him with a kiss.


	14. December 13: Stars

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.!

**AN 2**: a little short today, because Kate spent part of the time asleep. If you want to know what Castle was up to during that time, see cuffedBunnies version! Actually, do that anyway.

_For CB, who reminds me that the challenge is half the fun. _

* * *

Day 14: Stars

December 13, 2012

* * *

Okay, so this one was getting to her. In a way, the ones in the alleys always did. Always brought back memories of that January night. But now, it bothered her for a whole host of other reasons. A kid that age. She remembered clearly thinking that she was fully grown by that age. Certainly after her mother's death. But she wasn't, just a girl.

Castle had been here with her the whole time. Plying her with coffee, making sure she was functional. Although, she suspects he switched to decaf sometime ago. And yeah, that was probably a good idea.

And honestly, she didn't know how he was holding it together through this one. How he didn't want to rush over to Columbia and bang on his daughter's door just to make sure she was still there. She already wanted to, and Alexis wasn't even her kid.

She was not, and every time Kate looked at the crime scene photos. It doesn't matter, because the possibility is all she could see. But this girl is someone else's kid. Someone else is waiting to know why. And if Castle hadn't made the connection yet, shewasn't going to be the one to make it for him.

The evidence is stacking against the boyfriend, had been ever since his alibi didn't clear the night before. This case would be the one to break the monotonous string they'd had lately. She'd felt the almost taunting sting of it since they'd picked up the case yesterday after lunch. And now, their man had run.

"Hey, Boss," Esposito called from his desk, "Looks like our APB worked this time. Just got a call from the Horseheads Police Department. They've got our suspect, and said they'd keep him until we can arrange a pick up."

"Come on, Castle. If we leave now, we can be there by midnight."

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?" Castle looked at her for a long moment, and she almost wanted to look away, she didn't. She wanted to say that if it were his kid, she wouldn't wait for warrants, nevermind sleep. But she can't, won't do that to him.

She shook her head, "No, actually, it can't. We know this guy committed the murder, and the longer he sits in that cell, the bigger chance there is that he'll find some way out of this." She took a breath, and it almost turned into a yawn, "It's late already, and this has to be taken care of as soon as possible. I can't let this one slip through my fingers."

"All right. You go, I go."

Part of her wanted to argue, really. Wanted to tell him to go, hug his daughter. Let her be the one to deal with the fact that there was a father out there who couldn't. But she was tired. And strung out. And she just needed him. So she didn't argue.

"Whatever. You can help keep me awake, at least." Kate grabbed her purse out of her desk and got to her feet. "If you're coming, then let's go." She made her way to the elevator, Castle on her heels. "Espo, let them know we're on our way."

"Already on it," he answered.

They were almost to her car when she felt Castle snag her hand in his. "Are you sure you're all right? You really seem tired. Why don't you let me drive?"

She she started to argue, but he held up his hand to stop her, "I will stop before we get to Horseheads so you're the one in the driver's seat when we get there. I'm just saying, you need rest, so let me do this. Okay?"

Kate let out a heavy sigh and nodded. Better to just give him this and get it over with. "You're probably right. I could nap on the way there."

"That's fine, great even," he answered and opened the door for her, "I know you need it. By the way, are you hungry? I know you had a light dinner, but given the hour, we can find a drive through or something..."

"I'm good for now, Castle. Let's just get on the road and if it hits me later, we can stop." She yawned and laid the seat back a few notches while he walked around to the driver's seat.

"What about you?" She asked as he buckled in. "Do you need to grab a bite?"

Castle smiled and shook his head. "I'm fine."

She should have been arguing the driving more. She should, but she was too tired to care. She'll make it up to him tomorrow. Big time. She let herself drift.

"I'm glad you're here," she said, half awake and wanting to fill Castle's unusual silence. "I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes. I definitely wouldn't be making this run."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Go to sleep. I've got this, and if any bells or whistles go off, I'll wake you, okay?"

Kate's hand slipped into his and she squeezed his fingers gently. "Thank you so much, Castle."

"Always," he answered. It was the last thing she knew for a while. The next was Castle asking her awaken.

"Wake up, Kate, you really need to see this."

She mumbled a little and pushed his hand away. Too tired for games, Castle, she thought.

"Come on, Kate." He shook her a little harder, and her eyes popped open.

"What's this about?" Then, she looked at the clock and back at him, suddenly wide awake and in cop mode. "Castle, we're on the side of the road. What's wrong?"

"We're okay," he said, "I made good time, and it was a perfect spot, so I pulled off on the side of the road..."

"For what, exactly?" Her had to be kidding. Now? They had a killer to get to, after all. Then she felt the slip of paper in her hand. Oh.

"No, not for that," he said, as she read the note, "This is your cop car, Beckett, why would I do that?" He laughed, and she glared back.

"I just...well, there's nothing wrong with the car, but maybe with me, if you wish to consider this romantic streak you bring out." He smiled as he shifted to face her a little better, "The show's already begun, and I don't want either of us to miss the best part."

"What are you talking about? And 'Stars?' What's this about?"

"The Geminid meteor shower. The peak isn't until after midnight, but I have a feeling the show's gonna be awesome even now."

Kate moaned and rubbed her eyes, "You know, I don't like being woke up in the middle of the night, much less if we're on the side of the road. And they're not really stars, you know that, right?"

"Technicalities, for one, and two; we don't have to be here," he replied, "If you'd rather, we can go ahead and trade seats and continue on to the police station to make the pick up."

She watched him for a moment, processing it all through her sleep hazed brain. "This is just so different. I didn't expect it." Kate opened her door and started to get out. "We can take a few, Castle. If only to humor you," she quipped.

He got out as well, and joined her as she sat on the hood of the car. "The stars are beautiful tonight," she commented.

Castle came up next to her and put his arm over her shoulder. "Are you warm enough?"

"I think there's a blanket in the trunk," she offered.

"What about now?" he asked, as he moved in behind her and wrapped them both in the blanket.

"Always, with you," she answered, and he could see the corner of her mouth quirk upwards.

"Did you plan this?" she asked.

"Not really," Castle answered quietly, brushing the shell of her ear as he spoke, "However, I have known about the Geminids for a while, that the Earth passes through them each December. I honesty had planned to take you some place to watch, but then with the case, I had to abandon it." He kissed her cheek, "But I can't complain. I think this is perfect."

She let him pull her closer tring to stave off the pull of the case just a while longer. "This is so awesome, being here, sharing the beautiful night with you. I don't think anything could possibly be better," he said.

Several more meteors streaked through the sky, each one a little different. It seemed like there was at least one or two every few seconds. It was amazing.

As they watched, Kate pointed out a several of the constellations and told him how they'd gotten their names, or how they were placed into the sky.

It had been a while since she'd done this, and the familiar feeling eased her tension. At least until she realized he was eerily silent. Not at all like him.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Kate asked.

He chuckled lightly and kissed her jaw. "Just thinking about our Christmas holiday so far. It's been so awesome, and there are still several days to go. I may end up exploding from all the happiness I feel."

She turned in his arms, still wrapped by him and the blanket. Her arms were now around his waist, and she rested her head against his chest. "I know what you mean. I never knew I would feel like this again, especially at this time of the year. I guess dreams really do come true."

"Of course dreams come true," He nodded, then kissed the top of her head, "We're living proof of that."

"I know." She pulled his head down and kissed him, hard, on the lips. "And I also know that, unfortunately, we should be on our way."

Castle nodded, "Yeah. They'll be looking for us soon."

Kate rubbed her nose against his before she backed away from him. "Thank you for this," she breathed, "It may sound cliche, or silly, or whatever, but I think I needed it."

"It was my pleasure," he answered as he walked her to the driver's side of the car and opened the door for her.

"And once we get this guy back to the precinct, we've got the weekend," Kate said, smiling. "And I promise you, it will be the best weekend ever."

"If it's a weekend with you, I know it'll be awesome."

She just smiled as she started the car and got them under way.

On the way back to the city, she made him sleep his turn under protest. She wanted him rested for tomorrow, and the three days after that.

It was after 6 when Kate found him crashed out in the break room. She'd gotten their suspect processed. Before she woke him, she swiped his phone, sent Alexis a text. She'll take any heat for that, but she invited his daughter for breakfast. Posing as him, of only to better her odds that the girl accepted.

She could make do on the four hours sleep he gave her. Has before, will again. But he needed to see his kid, and so did she. The rest would take care of itself tomorrow.


	15. December 14: Trains

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.!

_CB: I don't know if he made it, or she made it, or you made it, or I made it. But we did it._

* * *

Day 14: Stars

December 13, 2012

* * *

O

When they got back to the loft that morning, she sent him straight in to shower and dress, flipped on the coffee, started breakfast. Alexis would be there in a little over an hour and a half, had answered her text almost immediately. Kate suspected that she had been up all night studying, needed a break.

She hadn't said anything to Castle, didn't want to. He'd only fuss, and Alexis would hate it. He was going to do enough of that anyway, he didn't need any help from her. So, she did what she always had done: tried to be the wall of reason where it came to his daughter. Because he said it was good for her. And she made breakfast.

She went to the freezer, selected the bags she wanted. Then she thought for a moment, pulled out another container, grinning to herself. He'd never asked about any of it, she doubted that he'd even noticed. This would be fun. She took out what she needed from each bag, set the rest back in the freezer and kicked the heat up on the oven.

She could see Castle's excess and raise it - at Beckett speed. Plus, it was the perfect way to kick of her surprise weekend.

She suspected he'd be the one doing the driving today, after he'd had a couple more hours of good sleep. She could live with that, though, and he'd love it. She suspected he might have had a little too much fun driving last night, too, but he wouldn't admit it, which just confirmed it for her.

He came out into the kitchen though his office half dressed, most likely in search of coffee. "You're casual still," he said. She'd kicked off her shoes and stripped down to her longsleeve tee almost immediately after he started for the shower, didn't want to delay her start on breakfast.

"I am," she confirmed.

Gates had sent the whole team home for the all nighter they'd pulled on this last case. Even gave Kate back the vacation day she'd planned to take anyway, let her move it to Tuesday. Gates was always unusually generous after a strong close. And at the early hour, she hadn't even questioned Kate. All nighter's and a commitment to the Christmas shift had their perks, it turned out.

He'd been distracted by his coffee quest, apparently, because it was only as she'd started to prep the first try for the oven that his voice cut in with the expected, "Where did this come from?"

She grinned again. Got him. "Which, the scones," she gestured to where she was brushing milk on the pastries, "or the French toast casserole?"

"Any of it," he replied incredulously. "What are these magic skills you have in my kitchen?"

"It's called advance planning, Castle." She gestured to the bowl she'd set out. "Make me waffles."

"Doing the full breakfast overkill you told me about, then? Like your Mom?" She could hear the approval in his voice.

"Mmmhmm," She returned, surprised to find that she liked the fact that he could mention her mother in casual conversation now. It didn't even bother her the way it used to.

"To answer your question, it came from the freezer. You had all those basic ingredients left from the cookies, so some of those nights when you'd get up at oh-dark-thirty to write, and I couldn't sleep, I'd come out here and put it to use; stash it in the freezer."

She turned to put the pan in the oven, found him gawking at her. "How did I not know this?" He asked.

"Easy, when you're writing, your mother could mount a full production in your living room, and you'd never even notice. And just about the only thing you notice in your freezer is the ice cream." She set the timer on the oven. "The casserole's fast, so it should have some time to back just fine. But I'll put it over here near the heat, let it get started thawing out. Waffles, Castle."

"Yeah," he muttered still sounding distracted. "Where did you learn to do all this anyway?"

She shrugged. "Both my parents were Manhattan lawyers, Castle. How do you think my mom pulled it off on her schedule? She planned everything in life, always thought ahead, that's how she did her work the way she did and had time for us too. Sometimes she even managed to keep my Dad on track to relax a little."

They worked in silence for a while, Castle getting the waffle batter going while she made bacon, eggs, and some brown and serve sausages he had apparently also missed in the back of his freezer. She made him squeeze orange juice when she found the bag of oranges in his produce drawer. Because they could. They could make breakfast for his daughter today. And she was greatful.

* * *

When Alexis arrived, she had produced the same stunned look as her father. It filled something up in her that Kate hadn't even known was empty. It must have been a long time.

"Cooking Ninja," she heard Castle stage whisper to his daughter. She watched as he made a show of trying to hide the fact that he was pointing in her direction.

"Okay, Drama Queen," she said, affection lacing her voice. "Cut the theatrics so we can eat, will you?"

After they had finished stuffing themselves breakfast, Castle surprised Kate by excusing himself in the table, begging for a good half hour to write. Something about wrapping the case that got him started up, he said. Actually, it gave her an unexpected opportunity.

When they were alone, she turned to Alexis. "Hey, since we have a few, I was wondering if you could help me out with something." She had been planning to do this on her own, if she could manage it at all, but Alexis knew her father well enough to be very helpful.

She watched as Alexis's brow furrowed in confusion. "Sure, if I can."

"It's about a surprise I've been planning for your dad, actually."

She watched the smile spread slowly across Alexis's face. "Tell me more," she said leaning in conspiratorially.

* * *

As it turned out, involving Alexis in the packing was a fairly decent plan. The girl was efficient, and she seemed to know exactly what was Kate should bring for her partner. She even made the run downstairs from their staging area in the guest room to retrieve the necessary items from Castle's closet. Kate figured Castle was probably used Alexis rummaging around, and it would be less likely to draw attention.

With about 10 minutes to spare in Castle's self-imposed writing deadline, they had just about everything they needed. Although, the last part might be a little bit tricky. Kate was just gathering her courage to ask the question, when Alexis cut in.

"That should be the basics," Alexis said. "What else do you think he's going to need?"

Kate bit her lower lip, hoped the girl didn't take this the wrong way. "Socially acceptable PJs?"

Alexis's eyebrows rose, but at least she was laughing about it. "Okay, I'm pretty sure I can scrounge that up, but if you don't mind my asking?"

Thankful that the young woman hadn't gone immediately to some less than appropriate interpretation, Kate reached back and pulled the ticket confirmation out of the bag she had been hiding in the back of the guestroom closet. She straightened the paper with her fingers a little, and then handed it to Alexis. "It's mostly for kids and families, I know, but –"

"Oh my gosh, Kate. Dad's going to flip out. He's going to love this. It's one of his favorite Christmas stories."

Kate nodded. "Yeah, he mentioned that. I just, I wanted to do something for him, and then I saw this on the internet one night by accident. When I looked at it, I knew I had to get tickets. Then with the drive up there and everything, I found this really nice little B&B up that way, decided to make a weekend of it. I put in for a couple of days off to stretch the weekend out a little, too."

She didn't exactly know why she was telling his daughter all this, but maybe seeking approval? Something. She really didn't know why, but she knew she needed too.

"That's amazing, I told Dad things like this needed a plan," she quipped. Then her cheeks flushed, suddenly having a bit too much in common with her hair. "I mean, I – we were just talking. You know, when you guys were going to go away for the weekend. Up to the house –" She broke off, clearly frustrated with herself.

Kate took pity on her. "Yeah, he said something about that. Offhand, when I asked him if you'd really want me crashing your Christmas tree hunt."

"Ah," was all she said. "Well, thanks for thinking of this Kate. I was worried, you know? That with me away at school, he might not have someone who got him. Someone to play with. But, he's gonna love this." Then she left the room, apparently to go in search of the perfect pair of socially acceptable pajamas.

Kate sat down on the bed, tried to pull herself together a little. Maybe it was the leftover turmoil from yesterday's case. Or maybe it's because the headway she is making with Alexis is starting to feel real.

"Kate!" The breathless exclamation takes her by surprise and she jumps a little. That girl is silent and her bare feet. Which is exactly what they wanted, but still. "Kate, look what I found! I know they are a little ridiculous, but they have trains on them, and they're sort of perfect."

Kate looked up at the pair of fleece pajamas that Alexis was holding. And burst out laughing. "Do they – are those - feet?" Actual, Castle sized, footed pajamas. God, she can't catch her breath.

"I think it was part of a matching set. Back when I was like, two or three. I can't even believe he still has them. When I saw them though, I thought -" Alexis trailed off as blue eyes met hazel, and they both burst into laughter again.

Somehow, they both managed to fall onto the guestroom bed, their sides still shaking with laughter. And when Kate up looked up into Alexis's face, the image overtook her: This new supposed hot, young playboy of the publishing world, in train printed footed pajamas that matched his tiny little girl's.

Yeah, they were perfect.

* * *

"I still can't believe you planned something like this and didn't tell me anything," He said as they drove the final few miles to their destination. He was in serious danger of whining.

"I still haven't told you," she pointed out easily. And it was true. He and Alexis had coerced him into the car when they come downstairs with the two packed bags. Then Alexis had made her way back to Columbia, while Kate loaded directions to their destination into the GPS on his iPad.

When he had looked at her skeptically in return, she had given him the note. "Exactly!" He said. "And I still don't know what any of this has to do with 'trains' Beckett."

"You will," she said with a soft smile. And then she grinned. Okay, she was still waking up a little. He had let her sleep most of the way, waking her as she instructed him to when they got to the last few steps along the route.

"I still don't know how you did it, I mean you didn't even know we'd be off today."

"Actually, we're off till Wednesday. Was supposed to be until Tuesday, but when Gates gave everybody today off she let me move my vacation day Tuesday. But we're just going for the weekend, be back in the city on Monday."

"Because?"

"Because there are reservations involved, Castle. Just relax and enjoy it." Now they're driving through the historic area of Saratoga Springs, oh it's beautiful. The idyllic scene was broken just a little as the GPS announced that they were nearing their destination. She looked up, spotted the inn coming up. "There, there it is."

"Wow," Castle said as he turned in.

She agreed. Had since she'd seen the pictures online. It was a little place, fewer than three dozen rooms in total. She has chosen one with a king bed, a fireplace, and a clawfoot tub in the historic restored section of them. All the modern amenities, but all the charm too.

They got checked in, and settled in, Castle oohing and ahhing time over their surroundings and her choices. Marveling. She's glad, that's what she wanted. And after this last case, she wanted it all the more.

With all the horror of her job, all the lost innocence, the unspeakable darkness, what she needed most of all is the kind of light he had given her. He made her smile and laugh and play in the middle of it all. He made her want to give that to him, too. Because seeing it on him helped even more. Who knew.

"Reservations, Castle. Got to change, come on."

"I don't even know what I'm changing into," he complained.

She reached into his bag, pulled out the pajamas. "Try these," she said matter-of-factly, pulling her own outfit out of her bag.

"Beckett!" He screeched "Where in the name of God did you find these?"

She sat down on their bed, her chin in her hand and smiling. "Didn't, actually. Alexis did. She help me pack for you, thought this would be perfect for the occasion."

"That's not funny, Beckett. Really not funny."

"It isn't meant to be funny," she said, pulling on her own blue jean colored pajama top with the white piping. The one he decided he especially liked after he showed up at her apartment early in their relationship and found her wearing it. She traded out her pants for a pair of denim jean style leggings that matched.

"You're serious," he said as if he were just now catching on.

"Yep, think of it is a pajama party. You can wear a long coat if you want, until we get there, but trust me you'll stick out more without it." She looked away, finished getting ready. Because, mostly that's true. She knew that not all the adults participated, but from what she had been told, it was the best way to make sure that they got the same treatment the kids did. And really, that was point.

He stared at her like she had lost her mind, but he put the pajamas on anyway.

* * *

This time she drove. She wanted to delay knowledge of where they were going for as long as possible. It hadn't done much to improve his mood, but at least it would improve the surprise.

He kept shooting her looks, like he was waiting for her to tell him where they were going. She ignored him, all the way up to the point where they pulled into the Saratoga station. When she started to St. Simons for the event, she knew that he would be seeing it too. She could practically hear wheels turning in his brain from her seat.

"Kate," He said, drawing her name out slowly. "This is - it's, The Polar Express, right?"

She waited until she'd pulled into a parking space, then turned and looked at him. Oh, the expression on his face. Like she had justÖ Well, like she had just delivered Christmas.

"They do a thing," she said, cursing her own inarticulate choice of words. "With hot chocolate, a reading of the story, songs from the movie, Santa Claus. They do the whole thing. And kids, and quite a few of the adults wear pajamas because –"

He started to get out of the car, and she knew that he was eager to get going. She got out with him.

"Because the kids in the story were taken at night, and they were all wearing their pajamas," he finished for her, grinning now.

"Exactly," she said, smiling as the enthusiasm in his eyes. "And when Alexis found those, they were perfect. Even if we couldn't stop laughing."

"So that's what that was," he said quietly.

"What?"

"Nothing," he replied, too quickly. "Kate, this is..."

She waited after he lost his words, because she understood. It filled her up too. Overwhelmed her the same way. But when he said nothing for a long moment, she laced her fingers slowly through his. "Come on, Castle. Let's go get our tickets punched. There's a schedule to keep, you know."


	16. December 15: Fireplace

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies.!

_For CB, who makes opening a new chapter feel like a Christmas gift. _

* * *

Day 16: Fireplace

December 15, 2012

* * *

"You okay over there?" Kate asked, still not quite pulled from sleep. She let her hand fall to his back, fingers tracing out her plan for the day on his skin as he relaxed against her touch.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Better than, actually."

"You're still jazzed about last night, aren't you?" she asked, humor bubbling over in her voice.

"Maybe I'm happy about waking up with a hot homicide detective in bed with me," he said, then asked, "What are you writing on my back?"

"I'm not even sure I want to grace that with a response," Kate answered as she shifted closer to him, trying to get as close as possible, her fingers still spelling out the word, over and over again. "And, I'm writing a word. Concentrate on the movement, and feel."

"To late... you just did respond." He smiled, though, and she knew he'd comply. "F... I..." His eyes squinted closed as he concentrated, then after she finished tracing the word a second and a third time, he asked, "Fireplace?"

"You got it," she said. "Fireplace."

"I'm so awesome at this game," he teased, "let's try again."

Then, before she could do anything about it, Castle flipped over and was on top of her, his fingers dancing up and down her ribs, and she laughed. He'd gotten her.

But that didn't mean he was getting away with it. She found leverage and quickly flipped their positions. Pinned hm beneath her.

"How-?"

"I'm a cop," she said. She took him in then, wishing she could absorb the light in his eyes. Unable to articulate it in words, she settled for kissing him.

Then a knock at the door broke the moment.  
Castle groaned when she pulled away. "Who could that be so early in the morning?" he asked.

"Breakfast," she answered, then rubbed her nose against his. She then got up and put on a robe before she began to walk toward the door. "We're not going far from the inn today. I thought you might enjoy that idea."

"Oh...I didn't know this place had room service," he replied.

Kate answered over her shoulder, "They don't, but I... made a few arrangements."

They'd outdone themselves. The pancakes had enough different possible toppings to put even Castle to shame. And good coffee, from the scent. She looked up to see the surprised delight. In Castle's eyes, and smiled.

"You really came up with everything, didn't you?" He smiled as he moved to sit beside her on the edge of the bed.

Kate was still smiling, A bit selfconscious. "I tried to. You know, it's kind of hard to figure out something special to do with a guy who has the capability to do or buy almost anything he wants."

"You know, I would have been happy, just spending time with you, Kate. You don't have to worry about finding things to make me happy. I've got you, and that makes me the happiest man in the world.

"This thing I started over the past few weeks... I did that for you. To show you that magic does exist. I want you to see that again. I know you believed at some point in your life, and it's something every person needs to have."

"I know, Castle, and I get it. That's why I did this. See, when we were at the toy store, I noticed how you went on and on about the Polar Express train. There was something in that moment that stuck with me, and when I found out about this place, and the train ride, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to bring you here."

"I'm beginning to see the magic of the season again, and it's all because of you. I've missed out a lot over the past thirteen years, and you've helped me get on the path to find my way back." She smiled as she leaned in to kiss him, then when she pulled away, she added, amused, "So, yeah, pancakes for breakfast."

"Thank you for last night?" he asked.

Kate shook her head and said, "Thank you for all the nights since the first."

While Castle recovered himself, Kate made up both of their plates and poured him a cup of coffee.

"You finally land, Houston?" she asked, as he seems to come to again.

"Yeah, I think I finally returned from orbit," he answered and took a drink of his coffee. "I just don't know how to absorb all of this," he admitted, "I've never had anyone do anything even remotely like this for me. In the past, it was always about what I could do for the other person."

She hadn't really considered that before. What a horrible way to go though life. She felt a wave of sympathetic affection for him, tried to grind the words for it.

Kate finished the bite she was chewing on before she spoke. "You can take it and run," she said, "We were friends for a long time before things changed between us, Castle. It won't ever be like that for me, you know that. I set up this weekend with you because I know you, how you work, what excites you. You're like a little kid sometimes, and this holiday magic you've been trying to spread... well, I think it's working. All I could think about, once this thing really got rolling, was what I could do to show you how much I appreciate it."

She took a drink of her coffee and thought for a moment before she continued. "You know, how much I see now, that I couldn't see before. I know there is still a road ahead of me to travel before I'm totally there beside you, but I can see the magic, and it's wonderful."

Castle slowly moved the tray to the side, and took Kate's fork from her, setting it onto her plate. "I'm so glad," he said, and leaned forward to kiss her.

Kate took his shoulders and pulled him toward her as she laid back onto the bed. She teased him just a bit with the way she moved, staying just a few inches ahead of him, and she could only move so far. Eventually, their lips met, and she was flooded with him n

* * *

She stayed there, wrapped up in him, even as the fire died down. He was warm enough for the both of them. So she just drifted in and out, content.

She was pulled awake by the sound of his voice. "Kate, Kate, you gotta wake up."

"Sorry," she mumbled, and kissed his chest.

"It's all right." Castle stroked her hair and trailed his fingers down her back. "I'll just keep that killer elbow of yours in mind for future reference."

She lifted her head and rested her chin in her hand. She smiled and played with that lock of hair that hung down in his eyes. "Just be sure it doesn't come up like this in your next book."

"Don't worry," he said easily, "it'll only make its appearance in Nikki's badass ninja skills when she's taking down a bad guy. Not Rook."

She slapped him lightly on the cheek and rolled her eyes. "At least there's that."

"So..." Castle's eyes cut to the clock. "We're just here all day, huh?"

"Yeah," she answered, "you okay with that?"

He nodded, "Sure, but if that's the case, I need for you to roll off me so I can get the fire re-kindled."

"What fire are you speaking of?" she asked, her blood singing again already.

Rick shrugged and kissed her fingertips. "I don't know. Which fire do you want me to work on?"

"It is cool in here..." she said, drawing it out. He was making this too easy. "You think you can multi-task today?"

"I can try..." he offered. "Give me just a moment."

"All right," she said, and she watched him under hooded eyes. It still surprised her to think they had held themselves apart for so long. Or, really, she had. Crazy. How could she not have wanted this all along?

She slowly rolled off of him, actually, slid was probably a better word for it. He got up and put a few logs in the fireplace.  
"Slow down, Hotshot," said Kate, as he rushed through the task of stoking the fire in the fireplace. Silly man. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," he answered, but the tone in his voice didn't sound at all convincing. "I just want to get back into bed with you."

Castle was still working a bit with the logs when Kate's voice purred in his ear, "Would you like a little help?"

He swallowed hard as her lips reached his ear. "Yeah," he choked.

Kate laughed and finished getting the fire set up while he watched. Then, she faced him. "Better?"

"Yeah, a little."

"Flustered?" she prodded, smiling and pleased.

"Yeah," he said, repeating himself. Yeah, that was flustered, all right. "I mean, yes, maybe a little flustered," he agreed.

"Then get back in here with me." Kate got back onto the bed and sat against the headboard. "We've still got the entire day to do nothing."

"I like doing nothing with you." He slipped under the covers and sat next to her. He caressed her cheek and kissed her softly on the lips. "So... doing nothing, huh? And in front of a fireplace, no less. Isn't that a stretch for you?"

She rolled her eyes, "Maybe a little, but I've found it's easy to do with you." Everything was, it seemed.

"Really? Then, we should get started," he kissed her again just under her ear, "right away."

She approved.


	17. December 16: Jingle Bells and Mistletoe

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies!

_For CB, who makes opening a new chapter feel like a Christmas gift._

* * *

DAY SEVENTEEN - Jingle Bells & Mistletoe  
December 16, 2012

* * *

"That was really great, I'm glad we went." She hadn't been sure at first. When Castle had slipped her the note that read "Jingle Bells" on the way back to the city, she hadn't known what to think. When he'd told her about his plans to go to Holiday Bass at Lincoln Center that afternoon, she'd nearly panicked.

She hadn't packed for something like that. On the other hand, he had planned this, bought tickets, before he had been kidnapped to Saratoga for her surprise trip, so she didn't want to spoil his plans. They'd made a quick stop at her place for her to change, and she'd even pulled together a spare shirt and tie he'd stashed there.

It had been hurried, trying to make the afternoon concert, but they had. It was worth it too. Fun and relaxed, with beautiful music.

"Yeah, it was." Castle put his arm over her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. "I think it made for a great ending to a wonderful weekend."

"Weekend's not over yet," said Kate, "We've still got tomorrow and Tuesday."

"So, what's going on tomorrow?"

Kate kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, "I guess you'll have to hang around to find out, won't you?"

She heard several beeps for incoming messages as Castle turned his phone back on on the way back to his car. "Oh, hey, I've got a message from Mother. I guess the texting lessons from Alexis have finally paid off..."

Kate rolled her eyes and waited while he read his mother's note.

"That's weird," he said, "It's just one word, 'mistletoe.'"

"Do you think your mom is getting in a little on this holiday thing?" she asked.

while it didn't seem like Martha, Kate had learned to never underestimate her. "I don't think so. Sending messages really isn't her thing. It's not loud and obnoxious."

She laughed and shook her head. "And you think what she's got planned won't be?"

"You're right. I'm not sure if I want to go back to the loft now..."

Kate had him by the arm and pushed him into the car as he unlocked it. "Now's not the time to get cold feet. I'm sure whatever it is Martha has planned will be perfectly fine."

He stopped and looked up at her, "Have you ever been to one of her parties? The woman is crazy!"

"She's not any crazier than you," she said, then shut the door on him.

"How can you say that?" he asked as she got in and buckled her seat belt.

"How can you not see it? Oh, nevermind," she said, "Let's just go. I, for one, would like to see what your mother has put together. It might actually be fun."

"Or embarrassing," he muttered, and turned the key.

He shook his head and put the car in gear, taking them out of the parking garage and onto the street. "I guess we'll find out soon. Maybe she's giving us some kind of notice that she's moving out."

Kate rolled her eyes. However much Castle fussed over her, she knew he loved his mother. Sometimes Kate was sure she might just love her too.

* * *

When the reached his building Castle took her hand, stared pulling her urgently in the direction of the loft. "You're really nervous about this, aren't you?" Kate asked, "I guess we should talk more.. I really didn't see this kind of reaction coming."

He dragged his hand through his hair and breathed out. She could hear the shake in it. "It's just... it's the whole theatrical I-wanna-have-a-party-to-end-all-parties thing she does sometimes. I'm kind of afraid this might be one of those."

The elevator stopped and they stepped out, seeing the door to his loft. She walked to it quietly and put her ear to it and stayed there for a moment. "No sound, Castle. I don't think anyone is in there."

Castle shrugged, "There's only one way to find out." He pulled out his key and unlocked the door and quickly slung it open before he peeked inside.

The loft was empty, save for hundreds, no, thousands of mistletoe sprigs hanging from the ceiling, the tops of door frames, anyplace where there was room for two people to stand beneath.

Kate stepped in beside him and looked around. "Well, she's definitely been busy." Subtle Martha was not. Kate held in a laugh. It wasn't what Castle needed to hear, but god, this was funny.

"Yeah," he agreed, "This totally wasn't what I was expecting."

"And I think it's a hint..." she bumped into him gently with her hip, "what do you think?"

He pulled Kate to him with, and she went easily, her smile matching his. "I'm definitely not going to complain," he said, and lowered his head to hers to kiss her

Kate met him halfway and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing in close. Might as well make it good. And oh, it was good.

They broke apart, and he stepped back long enough to help her out of her coat. As he hung it in the closet, Kate placed her purse by the small table, and as soon as he turned back around, she was there. Might as well make use of the mistletoe.

She ran her fingers through his hair, lightly scraping the skin behind his ear, and feel deeper into the kiss. It never failed to surprise her, how easily she could lose herself with him. It was new for her, but she loved it.

Castle leaned over a little and swung his arm behind her knees, picking her up with the intentions of taking her to his room and having his way with her, she was quite sure. And she wasn't complaining. she started to work on the buttons of his shirt, determined.

They made their way slowly toward his room, Kate focused soly on him and the task at hand.

And then, suddenly, their movement came to an abrupt halt. A moment later, Esposito's voice echoed through the loft, "Dude, you guys need to get a room."

With those words, the room errupted in laughter and Castle nearly dropped her on the floor. Nice.

He steadied her quickly and whispered in her ear, "See what I mean? Totally didn't see this coming. Did you?"

She shot him a look she generally saved for suspects. "Do you really think I did?"

"Point taken," he said. Kate kind of envied the people hidden around the room. She sort wanted to hide too, at the moment.

Lanie was the first to approach them. "I kinda thought the idea of hanging all the mistletoe, and hiding would make for an interesting entrance for you two. I totally didn't see that coming." She swatted at Kate's arm, "Girl, you've been holding back on me!"

Kate smiled, and couldn't help the slight blush that came over her. "Well, some things need to stay private," she answered.

"Uh huh," Lanie answered, then gave Castle a long once-over. "You're gonna have to spill at some point," she winked, "I'll move along, let you guys talk with the other guests. I'm sure they've got a lot to say after that." The ME laughed and walked back toward Esposito.

"You think they're back together?" he asked.

"I have no clue, Castle. Their relationship is... more complicated than ours." She pulled him toward the island, "I need a drink."

"Yeah, me too," he said, "and maybe a cold shower."

She shot him a smoldering look. Times like these were the ones where she loved the way his mind worked.  
"What?"

She took one of the glasses and passed another to him, then downed half of the contents of hers. "We make nice for about an hour, maybe two, then we'll sneak out."

Slowly, she moved closer to him, her lips barely brushed the shell of his ear as she spoke. "You won't need that cold shower when I'm finished with you."

Kate let herself wander away from him into the party. She should mingle. Distance between them would help. She looked back, saw Castle chatting with Espo, Lanie making her way over. And she had an idea.

Kate looked around until she found a stay spray of mistletoe, then walked back and hung it over Lanie's head before she could respond. "Hey, Espo, look what I found!"

"Come on, guys. We know you're together, just get on with it, okay? Don't do what Castle and I did for four years."

When the two didn't move as quickly as Kate thought they would, she looked at Castle, a question in her eyes.

Then, she got it. "Or you know, now may not be a good time... Taking things slowly is a good thing as well."

Espo seemed to finally regain control of his body. He turned, took Lanie by the waist, and pulled her close to him. "Hey girl, I meant every word I said to my boy here. I just wasn't given the chance to finish what I was saying."

"And what, exactly, is that? Because, it sounded to me like you just want a romp between the sheets."

"You know you're more to me than that," he answered, then pulled her in for a long kiss. Maybe too long, because the room got quiet again, and all the eyes were on them.

Castle tapped Espo on the shoulder, "Dude, I think you two are the ones who need to get a room, and all the rooms here are taken."

The room errupted in laughter as the two parted and Lanie rubbed a smudge of her lipstick off Esposito's lip with her thumb. She led him off toward one of the couches and they sat close, seeming to be deep in conversation.

Kate stepped up to Castle's side, "That was kind of awkward."

"You have no idea," he answered, "I really thought she was going to kill one of us there for a moment."

"I know, I saw it too." She watched after the two as they walked off and seemed deep in discussion. "At least, after seeing the look on your face."

"Yeah..."

"Darlings! What do you think of my little get-together?" Martha flourished in front of them, her hands rubbing comfortingly on their shoulders.

"It's nice, Mother," Castle answered, then smiled at Kate, "It was definitely a surprise."

"Yeah," Kate agreed and leaned against him. Good surprise. Even if she did want to be alone with him as soon as possible.

"I'm glad it was a surprise. After all, it was exactly my intention," His mother nodded and gestured with her hands toward the amount of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, "And it appears my hint went over quite well, too."

"As much of the stuff you put up there, it's a wonder this hasn't turned into an-" Castle started.

"Thank you so much for doing this for us, Martha," Kate elbowed him in the gut and cut in, giving him a look, "You have no idea how nice it is, coming in to see all of our friends, and to have you take a part in this holiday thing Castle came up with this year."

"It was no problem at all, kiddo," she answered, beaming at Kate. "You two are made for each other, so you should seize every moment!" She looked at Castle for a moment, who was rubbing his sore stomach, then turned back to Kate, "and on that note, I should move along."

She rubbed Kate's shoulder again, and whispered, albeit loudly, "Seize the day!" as she nodded her head toward her son.

Kate smiled, once again smothering her laughter. She managed to keep it in until Martha was well out of earshot, then she fell against him, laughing almost hysterically. "She's too much!"

"You're telling me," he answered and wrapped her in his arms. "The woman's crazy."

"And sweet. Soemthing I think you picked up on," she added, and kissed his cheek, "Sorry if I hurt you earlier. I don't think what you were about to say was very appropriate."

"It's okay, I knew I shouldn't have finished what I said anyway. By the way, are we still sneaking out of here in..." Castle checked his watch and felt his heart fall through the pit of his stomach. "twenty-five minutes?"

Kate looked around the room, then back to him, "I don't think they're going to miss us." She pulled him down and kissed his lips this time, and whispered in his ear when they parted, "but let's give them something to talk about first."

Kate pushed him away and pulled him slowly through the kitchen.

"Wh- What are you doing?" he asked.

"Stocking up," she answered, took out a bottle of wine from the cabinet, then walked with him out of the kitchen before she backed him into one of his bookshelves. "And making a scene."

"You really want them to talk, don't you?" he asked, just before she kissed him again.

"We do this, then go this way, into your room, then we sneak out the front door," she whispered, breathless, into his ear. "Just like that first day."

"When you forgot your bra?"

She playfully slapped his chest, "That was entirely your fault." And it was. Watching him try to cover it up had been pretty funny, though.

"How so?" Castle pulled her close, his arms around her waist, pressing her body against his. "I was in the kitchen!"

"It just was," Kate answered, smiling.

He had a hard time finding a comeback after that. He just followed.

"How long are we staying in here?" he asked just after being pushed onto his bed. "Wouldn't you rather stay?"

Kate gave him the crazy look again as she climbed on top of him.. "With all of them on the other side of the wall? NO freaking way." She kissed a trail up his neck to his jaw. "We'll leave in about ten minutes. Anything you want to pack?"

"How can I pack when you're doing this stuff to me? Besides, I've got all I need at your place. I-I... um... I still have a change... of clothes... there."

"All right," she kissed him one more time, lingered on his lips for far too long, especially if they were about to walk out in front of everybody. "Let's go."

Kate took his hand and they walked toward the front door slowly. She grabbed her purse and he pulled both of their coats out of the closet just before he opened the door.

They were out, and Castle had just begun to close the door behind them when his mother's voice cut through the party noise. "Have fun tonight, darlings! I'll leave a light on for you!"

The responding chorus of wolf-whistles and cheers followed them through the closed door and down the hallway. Castle shrugged and took Kate's hand as he said, "At least they're happy for us."


	18. December 17: Ice

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies!

_ CB, thanks for indulging my tangent..._

* * *

DAY SEVENTEEN - Ice

December 17, 2012

* * *

After they left the party, They had managed to find a relatively quiet and peaceful evening at Kate's apartment. Not that they did much relaxing, after the mistletoe got them all warmed up. But the combination had made for a relatively lazy morning.

She was curled up on her sofa nursing her second cup of coffee, and wondering exactly where Castle had gotten himself to when the startled gasp of surprise from the other room caught her attention.

"Castle? Don't make me come looking for you. What have you gotten yourself into this time? If I end up having to take out the first aid kit again, we're going to need to have a conversation."

Not for the first time, she wondered how he managed to spend so much time at her crime scenes without injuring himself or mucking something up, all while so accident prone in normal everyday situations. Although, it has been fun prying the story of the Thanksgiving turkey incident out of Alexis the night that they made cookies.

"Beckett, how have I not seen these!"

She looked up in the direction of his voice as he came into the living room. He had that overexcited look on his face, the one that usually meant trouble, and yet she found herself adoring anyway. And, heaven help her, he was holding her old pair of bright neon ice skates.

"Digging around in my drawer is not enough for you, Castle? Now you're digging around in my closets too?" But there was no bite in the statement, only amusement. She wondered exactly when she had become comfortable with him digging around in things, anyway? Probably when she realized that he would stop if she asked him to.

"I wasn't digging exactly, I was looking for something I shoved in there last night."

She could believe that, they'd been in something of a hurry when they came in last night. And, she could well imagine him being easily distracted by something that was both bright and shiny. "It's not a big deal Castle, I've had them for a while."

But even as she said it, she was assaulted by memory. That time in the first year that they worked together, when Will Sorensen had used a case to try to force himself not so subtly back into her life. He had been trying to reminisce, teased her about this particular pair of skates, in much the same way he tried to tweak her about Castle. But the most surprising thing about this particular memory, she remembered now, was the way she had struggled to suppress her instinct to retort back that Castle would like them.

"These are amazing, I'd never seen anything so cool. I know a time when Alexis would've been dying for something like this. Again I ask, how have I not seen these?"

She shrugged loosely, printing a little at the fact that she had been right, all those years ago. "They're just ice skates, Castle. Besides, there isn't really much call for them at the precinct. Or over the summer and fall."

She looked over at the bright purple ice skates, with little bits of sparkle embedded in their surface. Well it called them neon, but really they were more bright. She hadn't felt the need to tell him, that she actually had a pair of blade guards that really did have neon lights. Might show them to Castle though, she knows he wouldn't tease her for them. About Nebula 9 maybe, but not her quirky ice skates.

"We should totally go out, go skating. It would be fun," he said, all shades of exuberance radiating from him.

"Only if you call making a fool of myself and getting some bruises your idea of fun." She was trying for it, but she knew as excited as he was she was, probably never going to talk him out of it.

"You must've thought it was at least some idea of fun, considering you own your own very cool ice skates. After all, if you only went once or twice when dragged it there by others, couldn't you just rent skates?"

This is one of those times where she regretted his reasoning skills, no matter how helpful they might occasionally be in front of her murder board. "Maybe there was a time I thought I would be better at it than I actually am, did you ever think of that?"

"You could always learn, did you ever think of that?"

She pushed herself up from the sofa, they could keep this going for a while, but she already knew she wasn't going to win. "You planning to teach me, Castle?"

"If it means I get to spend the afternoon with you, watching you wearing these? I just might."

She sighed, and walked her coffee cup into the kitchen. Might as well go and get it over with. After all, she doubted that Castle have much patience to deal with her lack of skill.

When he handed her the note scribbled with the word "ice" she knew she was in for it. "All right, then. Let's go." Maybe she could make a turn or two around the rink and then just sit and watch. Oh, yeah, that was gonna happen.

* * *

They bypassed the rink at Rockefeller Center, always well overcrowded this time of year. Instead, they headed for Central Park. But again, they bypassed the larger more popular rink in favor of its smaller, more intimate companion. Kate was relieved. At least there was less chance of people being around when she made a spectacle of herself.

Castle had his skates laced up and ready to go almost before she finished with the first. "Excited?" She asked. It was probably the world's most unnecessary question, but she couldn't help teasing him just a little.

"Sure. It's a nice day, it's a fun way to expend a little energy, and it's something we've never done before."

"If what you were looking for was an opportunity to expand some energy with something we've never done before, there are plenty of more enjoyable options than this."

She watched Castle freeze for just a moment, thought, perhaps somewhat irrationally that she might have him with that. But instead he grinned at her, shook his head. "Nice try Detective. Hit the ice." Oh, there was a decent chance of that.

She made it about a foot from the wall before she wobbled. Castle caught her by the elbow immediately. "Okay, ease up there. Here, straighten you ankles and stop favoring your toes. These aren't heels, Beckett."

The next thing she knew, he was gliding in front of her, backwards, her hands in his. She was grateful the rink was fairly empty. At least there was very little chance they would plow into anyone.

"When did you become the master skating instructor, Castle?" She glanced down at her feet.

"Head up, or you'll throw off your center of balance. And I had a daughter with dreams of being an ice princess. We spent practically all winter out on some rink or other for a couple years there."

Of course. She should have known. The man had all the money he'd ever needed to hire the best private instructors in the city for his kid. But Alexis Castle had learned by playing away the hours of a winter afternoon at the rink with Daddy. This man.

"I keep expecting to fall," she admitted.

Castle clicked his in disapproval, and shook his head. "When are you going to learn, Kate Beckett? I'm never going to let you fall. So just relax and let me lead for a little bit, okay? It's easier than you think it is." She wondered, briefly, whether he meant skating, or letting him lead. But then, from the look in his eye and the mastery she knows that he has of the double entendre, she knew it was both.

"I just feel silly," she said after moment. Really, she was a grown adult being led around like a child.

"So? Plenty people look silly without having any trouble staying on their own two feet," said a small voice from somewhere over to her left.

She turned to look, and Castle adjusted his hold on her so that she wouldn't fall. Skating along beside her to her last was a girl of about nine years old, long blonde braid down back. But what Kate found particularly interesting was that she was pushing a silver frame that wrapped around in front of her. Like a walker, she realized. An ice walker.

"I'm Natalie. You're pretty." She looked Kate up and down. "Wow, and your skates are cool! I wish I could find some that look like that. But they wouldn't be able to fit my braces. I have to have special ones made."

"Hi Natalie," Kate said when the little girl finally stopped chattering. "I'm Kate. And this is Rick," she said gesturing Castle. The movement cost her something in stability, and she wavered on her feet a little. "I'm not very good at this," she said as she steadied herself against him.

"You'll get better. Besides, there's nothing wrong with needing a little help with stuff. As long as you do stuff. It's when you don't do stuff that you look silly, right grandma?"

Natalie looked over shoulder, and it was then that Kate realized the woman must've been skating behind them.

"The more you do, the more you can do," The woman said in a way that made Kate think it was an expression she used often. "But Nattie," She said as she skated around the girl and into view, "what have I told you about talking off the ears of strangers?"

"That I shouldn't," the girl said with a sigh.

"It's alright ma'am," Castle said, "she's the police."

"Really?" Natalie squeaked. "That's awesome!"

The older woman laughed. "Oh I see. Well that's wonderful, but I don't worry so much about your intentions, as your patience for chatty little girls."

"I'm not a chatterbox, grandma. I'm just sociable."

Kate stifled a laugh. She certainly was something. "Oh she's fine, she's distracting me from my own terrible skating."

"Oh, I don't know dear," Natalie's grandmother said. "It looked like pretty good teamwork to me."

"Well, it's usually is," Kate admitted.

"We've had more practice with the team work than the skating," Castle added.

"Well Natalie," her grandmother said we better get going. I think there's some hot chocolate waiting for you at home."

"One more time around?" the little girl pleaded.

Her grandmother relented, And the little girl began to glide off fairly quickly, pushing her walker in front of her. When she was a few feet in front of them, however, she turned to look back, yellow braid swinging. "Bye Rick, bye Kate. Merry Christmas!" She called over shoulder before taking off around the rink.

"Now that is a lot of spunk," Castle said grinning down at her. She nodded, smiling back. They began their progress around the rink again, and after several slow turns Castle moved from in front of her to beside her and they skated arm and arm for a while. She found that she liked that better, leaning on him side-by-side.

She'd never been one to like leaning on anyone, but after that afternoon she had to concede that perhaps Natalie was right. Maybe it didn't matter if you needed help with something, or if something wasn't always easy, as long as you did it. As long as you tried.

She was learning.


	19. December 18: Sparkle

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies!

_For CB, who ALWAYS gives my first and most enthusiastic reviews, even if I'm the only one who knows. :)_

* * *

DAY NINETEEN - Sparkle

December 18, 2012

* * *

The truth was, when Kate had hastily swapped vacation days last week, she had forgotten about the gift exchange and team Christmas party they had set for today at the twelfth.

It had been Castle's idea, a bit of levity to break the tension of that last horrible case. He had placed the names of the members of their team, including the Captain and Lanie, on sticky notes he had stolen from her desk. Then, he had stuck them in a spare coffee mug, and had everyone draw a name.

It had been particularly short notice for Kate, thanks to their weekend away. Castle had helped her locate something, though, and it was perfect. She suspected that he, on the other hand had been planning his gift for a long time. In fact, she was pretty sure that he had rigged the pot to draw the appropriate name.

So, despite her day off, they had both come in toward the end of shift in order to participate. She was the last one in the break room, having taken some time at her desk to straighten things up for tomorrow. She had to hand it to her partner; Castle had really transformed the small space with just a few spare decorations and a small tabletop tree.

She noticed that he had already placed out the snacks that they had brought, and he handed her a cup of punch as she entered.

She smiled, feeling mischievous as she took the cup from him and brushed her fingers across his. She was teasing him a little, But mostly she wanted to touch him. Badly. But the captain was present, so she cut the gesture short and mingled.

Everyone was just chatting for a while. It was nice. Companionable and relaxing, like the times the team might gather for a drink after a tough case. Kate liked it this way, and even Gates seemed to enjoy herself.

Castle sat down across the table from Kate, and she startled just a little as he tapped his foot against hers. Oh, he wanted to play? She slipped out of one shoe, smiling as she worked her socked foot under his pants leg. She could play, but she'd win.

Gates stood and the room went quiet. She seemed happy enough, but she still had enough of her air of command to have that effect on her team, even here. "I'm glad we were able to get this little 'Secret Santa' party arranged, but unfortunately, I must take off soon. My in-laws have decided to come in early, and honestly, I am not prepared for them." Kate swore she heard the woman mutter something like, "never be prepared for her," and she had to work to smother the grin that wanted out.

"I totally understand what you mean," Castle said, "I think this means we should start the gift exchange!"

"How are we going to do this?" asked Ryan, "I mean, do we all go up there at once and exchange all of them, or should we go one at a time?"

Esposito laughed at his partner. "Bro, this isn't like a test or something. You worry too much."

"One at a time, and Captain Gates can go first," said Kate, "that way, she can receive her gift, and give hers and she will be able to go anytime." Honestly, boys? Logic here.

Castle agreed, "That sounds good to me."

The others seemed to like the idea as well, so Castle walked over to the tree and took the small box he had brought and gave it to Gates. "Here you go, Captain."

She smiled and looked a little surprised at the same time Kate thought. "Mr. Castle? You drew my name?" she asked. If you only knew, Kate thought.

"Yes, I did. I hope you like what you find in there."

She opened it, and the look of surprise on her face was priceless. "A key?" She pulled out small piece of metal and held it dangling from the chain attached at one end. "Did you get this gift mixed up with... someone else's?"

When she turned her eyes directly to Kate, the detective blood instinctively chilled. Gates knew. Oh, this was bad. This was really – Gates knew. And Castle was still here. That had to mean something, right? She forced herself to relax.  
"It's a key to a locked case," Castle's voice cut into her thoughts, "hold on a moment. I'll be right back."

He carefully pulled the case out and carried it back to Gates.

"What did you get that needs to be carried in something like that?" asked Espo, when Castle returned to the room with the industrial-strength lock box they had brought in.

"Good question," added Ryan, "And you're acting like it's about to explode."

Gates watched him carefully, "They both pose excellent questions, Mr. Castle. Care to give us one of your brilliant explanations?"

"Open it up," he said, smiling a little, then set it gently down on the table, with the keyhole toward the captain.

Kate watched, knowing the end result as Gates unlocked the case and opened it.

"Where?" Gates gasped out. She looked up at Castle, her jaw dropped, and she looked back into the case. "Where did you get these?"

"I know a few people," he said.

Gates reached in as if to take one of the objects out, then pulled her hand back. "I'm leaving them in there, where they're safe." She smiled and hugged him, "Thank you so much... you really didn't have to do this, you know."

But wow, Kate thought. She'd actually hugged him. And even if she was beginning to suspect the Captain wasn't as down on their unorthodox partnership as she had been in the past, that was something.

Castle just smiled. "I know that, but I felt like you needed replacements, after I shattered the other dolls into a million pieces. And, maybe a safe place to keep them from people like me."

She nodded. "I can certainly agree with that," she said as she also walked over to the tree. "And I have to say, my gift may not measure up. Merry Christmas, Mr. Castle."

Well this was an unexpected twist. Knowing what the captain new, Kate wasn't exactly sure what would happen next. She Trencherita structure herself though, that the gates who was now quite happy with her present would not give castle his now, if it were only some roundabout way of kicking him out of the precinct.

She wondered if Castle had been considering these possibilities too, especially when Lanie broke in. "Oh, quit thinking about it, Castle, just open the thing," she said. "I, for one, want to see what the big boss got for the class clown."

"I see what you did there," he said, then tore into the package.

And then he started laughing as if he'd just heard the funniest joke he'd ever been told. And then Gates was laughing as well. What on earth?

"What is it?" Kate asked, "What did she get you?"

He opened the end of the box and, one by one, pulled out the three pieces, each one adding more laughter to the room. It was a novelty set including cuffs, a 'deputy' badge and toy gun.

"Thank you, Captain," he said. "This is the best gift ever!"

Kate had to agree. Because that? That was acceptance if anything ever was. That, and it was damn funny.

"I had hoped you'd get a kick out of it," said Gates, as she tried to control her laughter.

"Oh yeah, I did. Most definitely."

"That was fun," she said, and checked her phone. "And that is my cue to leave. I hope you all have a wonderful party, while I'll try not to commit a homicide tonight..."

A few more laughs broke out, and everyone said their goodbyes as Captain Gates left.

"Since we sorta cancelled each other out, who wants to go next?" asked Castle.

"Why don't you choose some one? Since you went last?" Lanie suggested, "Seems like that would be fair enough to me."

The others seemed to agree. "All right," he said, and looked around the room, as if trying to decide "You know, Lanie, how about you, since you suggested the idea?"

Her eyes widened for a second, "Okay, I can do that." The ME went over to the tree and took a glance out the door before she got back. "Just wanted to make sure Gates was gone... not that I'm entirely sure it would matter."

She handed the gift to Kate. "Here you go, girlfriend. I know you'll find a good use for this."

Kate was a little confused, but shook it off and ripped into the paper. She had a little trouble with opening the box, but finally, she pulled out the object inside.

And the room burst into laughter again.

Kate felt tears streaming down her cheeks she was laughing so hard, holding up the navy blue gag with the word "WRITER" printed to the front of it.

"I know she'll find some kind of use for it," said Lanie, and she high-fived Kate. Then, she turned toward Castle, "There's a reason it matches your vest, just so you know."

"Yeah, I get it," he answered, still laughing a little as he watched Kate stuff the gag back into the box. "So, that makes it your turn, Beckett."

She got her present and half-tossed it to Esposito. "I found something you really need. Hope you like it." She slid a quick look in Castle's direction.

Espo picked up the box and his eyebrows shot up. "What's in here?"

"Why don't you open the box and find out?" she answered, a challenge in her voice. She was baiting the other detective, and he was taking it.

He took the paper off the box, which was totally non-descript, and covered in duct tape. Espo looked more than a little irritated. "What the hell?"

Kate arched her eyebrow, and Espo stopped complaining. He pulled out his pocket knife and cut into the tape, finally taking out a night stick... that was red and white and looked like a candy cane.

Another round of laughter.

"See, we've noticed you've been tying up with a lot of suspects over the past several months, maybe years," said Kate, "I thought it was about time you tried carrying a night stick, so maybe you won't earn as many black eyes."

Espo smiled and shook his head, "But it's painted like a peppermint! That's just wrong, man."

Then, Castle added, "The red and white is really a cover and can be taken off. We didn't want you sticking out too loudly."

He set the night stick down, laughing, "Yeah, well, I might start carrying it, you never know." Espo grabbed his gift from under the tree and took it to Ryan. "Drew your name, bro. Hope you like it."

And yes, all of the gifts had been given in good fun, several of them were very good jokes. But none got quite the laugh as the one they had it Ryan's expense over that giant jar of honey wrapped with a bright red bow.

Eventually, Ryan put an end to the ribbing, and took his gift to Lanie. "After seeing what everyone else got, I'll go ahead and tell you, what I got was practical. I mean, I know you could hide my body and no one would ever find it if... well, anyway, here."

She opened it, and looked genuinely touched. She showed everyone the gift card for a mani/pedi. "Ryan, you are too sweet! And I love this place - how did you know I go there?"

"Well..." He seemed a little unsure of what to say for a moment, "It was Jenny's idea, so I kind of asked Espo if he knew where you went..."

"You remembered?" she cut him off and asked the other detective.

"Of course, I remembered, baby," Espo answered, appearing maybe a little proud of getting her attention. "I'm a ninja like that."

That obviously didn't amuse her. At all. Poor Espo, Kate thought He always tried, but never seemed to win with her these days. "Yeah, whatever," Lanie huffed.

They all visited for a while longer, joked about the gifts and helped clean up before they got ready to leave.

Castle followed Kate back to her desk, taking her hand just as she reached for her coat. "Wait just a moment, Kate," he said, "That isn't all of the gifts."

She raised an eyebrow in question, and Castle held out a small envelope. A familiar small envelope. Not all of the notes they had passed between them this season came this way, but a few of them have.

She took it with a smile and opened it. Wait, sparkle? What was he? Her mouth went dry and her heart rate picked up. He wouldn't, would he? Not this soon. And certainly not in the middle of the precinct. Right? Not that she would say anything other than – oh God. Get it under control Kate. Now. She bit down on the inside of her lip. Hard.

He reached into the small case for his iPad, and pulled out a small box. "I know we talked a little bit about jewelry around your birthday, but with everything with Tyson it just wasn't the right time. And I'm not sure this even qualifies as jewelry really, but I thought and I felt like you had to have it."

It was a long thin box. She breathed out the breath she had been holding, simultaneously relieved, and slightly disappointed. That last piece surprised her. But she shook it off, and reached for the box.

This wasn't the kind of jewelry she was expecting. It's much, much better. It's expensive, for what it is, the real deal. Others won't understand. She doesn't care. He's her best friend. That's what this is.

She fingered the friendship bracelet, woven of two identical diamond patterns in different colors side-by-side. The small collection of rhinestones in the center looks like handcuffs. That part made her laugh, thinking of tigers, reunions, nights at her place, and other less pleasant things all at the same time.

It was them. It was just them. The same, yet different. Bound together and standing side-by-side. It was perfect. Her eyes welled up. "Castle, Rick -"

He took the box from her hand, stopping her words midsentence. He lifted out the small bracelet, and carefully clasped it around her wrist.

"You said once you didn't understand how we made sense. But the truth is, before we ever got together, before all this, before I even knew I was in love with you, Kate, you were my best friend. The first true one I think I ever had. You are my best friend. Outside of everything else, that's who we are. That's the foundation. That's why we work, why we'll always work."

Kate sniffled and leaned up to kiss him when someone behind her cleared their throat.

"I'm sorry you guys," Lanie said quietly. "I thought I left my pocketbook in the break room, but it's not back there so I wondered if maybeÖ" She trailed off.

Oh. Yes. Kate had picked it up instinctively when she saw it in the break room, knowing it was Lanie's. And then she'd forgotten all about it. She pulled away from Castle and reached for it. "Oh, yeah. I got it, here you go," she said, wiping her eyes.

"Thanks," the other woman said as she took the pocketbook and made her way toward the elevator. Just before she reached the doors, she turned back and regarded both of them for a moment. "Hey Kate? The next time I say something stupid, you have permission to slap me, understand."

For just a moment, Kate's brow furrowed confusion. And then she recalled their conversation last spring over glasses of wine. About the nature of her relationship with Castle. "Don't worry about it," she said with a smile.

When Lanie had gone, Kate turned back to Castle with a smile. "Thank you," she said again, all the while knowing the words don't quite enough.

"What was all that about?" Castle asked.

"Don't worry about it, she didn't understand, and now she does."

She gave him a slow warm smile, and watched the question melt away from his face, replaced with happiness. And she kissed him. Right there. Because what did it matter who knew, anyway?


	20. December 19: The Workshop Ball

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies!

_For CB, Because you drew the hard job on this one._

* * *

DAY TWENTY - The Workshop Ball

December 19, 2012

* * *

"Shouldn't you be leaving? I mean, don't you have a party you need to be getting ready for?" Kate was trying her best not to be irritated with him. Really, there was nothing much for him to do here today, and he was excited. Ordinarily, she knew, he wouldn't be here. But she had asked him to be here, hadn't she?

It wasn't even really that she wanted him to go. She liked that it's habit now, him staying to work with her even when there's nothing to put his mind to use. But right now, he was distracting her, and she wanted to get this done. All she wanted to do is be done for the day, go home and get ready for him.

It was odd really, because she'd never really been the girl who did that. The one who wore a dress for a man. Oh, she dressed to get a reaction out of them a few times. Even Castle. Like that first reading she'd gone too. But no, this was different. She was not messing with him now. She just wanted him to love it. Love her in it.

It was strange and new, and she just wanted to get there. Get to it, be this new version of herself she was becoming with him. The one she liked so much more than the versions of the past. But she has to get this done first.

This day would never end.

"I guess I could leave," he admitted, "and help decorate, if Dalton and the others haven't already taken care of it."

She nodded in agreement. She was distracted still, trying to focus in on the paperwork. But he's going to go, let her get this done. So she could spend the night with him.

Castle stood and straightened his jacket. "Just don't forget this," he said as he tapped the envelope he'd given her earlier, with the words, "Workshop Ball" written in a glittering green ink.

"I promise I won't forget, Castle. Now go, so I can finish this stuff in time to leave." Damn. She hadn't meant to at him like that, really. She just wanted to get out of here so badly.

"All right, Detective. Have a good day." It was the slight off tone of his voice that made her stare. Shit. He was trying not to show it, but he was hurt. And then she got it. Remembered the way that she had felt a couple of weeks ago, when he stayed home to write because he wanted to spend the night with her. Was that what she'd done? Turn him inside out, made him wonder?

But then, he held out his hand. Oh. He wanted to shake her hand. Because he couldn't kiss her. He loved her. She took his hand, shook back. "See you later, Castle." It was all she could say right now. She wanted to say so much more than that.

* * *

She knew that she was basically late when she got there. At least, she was well behind the rest of her team. She wasn't particularly happy about it, knowing he'd be anxious. He'd been anxious all day.

It was only that she so badly wanted to get this right. Yes, she had wanted to dress up, look nice. But, somewhere halfway through getting ready she realized it was more than that. This was his work. He owned the bar after all. And it wasn't a press event, it wasn't a big deal that she had to stress over. But it was her chance to stand with him for once. To back him up. Even in the small casual little way.

She wanted to get this right.

She saw him headed for the stage when she walked in. She clutched her little invitation card tighter, really just his latest note, and watched as he turned and stopped. And he stared. And she knew she'd succeeded at her first objective at least.

He was trying not to show it, but she knew she was right. He had been anxious for her to get there. And so, she smiled for him. Full and easy, the way she liked. The way that was becoming easier for her every day. Requiring less and less thought. She just needed him, now.

She started forward, and then, without really realizing it, she was in his arms.

"Hey," he said, and held her against his chest and touched his forehead to hers. "I missed you."

"Sorry I'm late," she said, blinking slowly as she smiled for him again. "I missed you, too."

Castle was about to say something else, but was interrupted by another voice calling out to him.

"Boss man, you need to move back about two steps."

Kate ground inwardly. She'd only just gotten here, what did they need? She just needed a minute, with him. But, this was her position tonight, backing him up. So she stayed quiet, let him ask the questions. "Excuse me?" he asked the young waitress whose name she could not quite recall.

"Two steps back," the woman repeated, then pointed upward.

Kate was so focused on Castle, that even without looking up she could feel the slight change of his body. Something like realization. The way he tensed. What the world? Then he was moving, and pulling her forward.

She started to protest. "What's going o-"

Before Kate could finish, his lips were on hers. She couldn't complain about that. Her arms had found their way around his neck and pulled him in closer.

When they parted, she looked up, and smiled when she saw the mistletoe. "I should have seen that coming."

"But, you didn't," he teased, "and if you'll notice, I didn't cover the entire ceiling."

Kate laughed and it was like a weight lifted from her. She could do this with him. He made it seem so easy. "Yeah, that's probably a good thing."

"You want a drink? I've got plenty of vodka..." Castle offered.

She nodded, "Yeah, that sounds great."

"Come with me," he said, and took her hand in his.

Castle ordered two martinis when they got to the bar, and then turned to Kate. And she felt everything stall. He was staring again, not that she minded. It reminded her of that night at the precinct last spring when she walked out in that black gown. It was a horrible time in their history, for both of them. And yet, she left that memory. The way he looked at her and said she was the only thing in the universe. And now he was again, only this time he knew it was for him. She liked it better this way. So much.

Kate moved closer to him and leaned toward his ear. "Like what you see?" she asked.

"I always like what I see, when it's you I'm seeing." She watched the smirk spread across his face, loving it. "But if you're talking about your dress, it's stunning. Why haven't I seen it before?"

She smiled and took her martini when the bartender brought them over. They clinked the edges of their glasses together, and she said, "Probably because I've kept it hidden, just in case I needed it for a special occasion. Like this."

She watched the thought play over his features. "There's nothing else stashed away," She said, allowing a "yet" to be tacked on there unvoiced.

"How do you keep doing that?"

Kate laughed and shook her head. "Sometimes, Castle, you are so easy to read. It's like the words scroll across your forehead."

She looked toward the dance floor, still smiling as she did so, and tapped him on his thigh. "You see Jenny and Ryan out there? They're so sweet together."

Kate watched the couple dance together, get lost in each other. Oh, she wanted that. So badly. And she could feel herself hovering there at the edge of it.

She sipped her drink, trying to pull it in, pull it all back together. Then, Castle took the glass out of her hand, and set it with his on the bar. "Follow me," he said, and guided her out to the dance floor.

Her hand was in his, and he twirled her just before pulling her close, making her laugh, a little breathless. She let her cheek rest against his for a little while before she laid her head on his shoulder and rested her hand over his heart.

She could stay like this forever. It was a sappy thought when it came to her, but she didn't care. Apparently, her internal voice was allowed to be cheesy, so long as it was true.

The song melded into the next and they continued to dance. It seemed neither one of them could find, or wanted to find, a reason to stop.

Only the change in his body language alerted her, pulled her back to herself. She liked that she could read him like this, too. His face, his body. Liked that it barely required words.

It was then that she realized. She wasn't standing at the edge, poised for some jarring dive that would take her under, irrevocably alter her course, threaten to consume her. No, she had somehow slipped unknowingly in, surrounded and buoyed and safe. With him. For him. For the person she had for so long wanted to become. They were there.

Some time later, long after her partner had settled back into the rhythm of their dance, she looked up, slow, not quite there. Others were watching them, she realized. She found herself locking eyes with Ryan where he stood beside his wife. He looked back at her, raised his eyebrows slightly.

She held onto Castle a little bit tighter. Feeling herself sliding under again. Back into the warm haze of just them. But she got it, knew what had passed between herself and the other detective. She gave a slow smile back.

Yeah, who knew?


	21. December 20: Greetings

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies!

**AN2**: Apologies for the lateness. Today should happen by end of the day, as planned.

_For CB, next year will be better_

* * *

DAY TWENTY ONE - Greetings

December 20, 2012

* * *

Yesterday had stayed with Kate all morning, even as Castle couldn't shut up about tomorrow. "No," she said as indulgently as she could for a third attempt. "I'm not comcerned about the end of the world."

"I don't see why you can't at least acknowledge the possibility. There has been some pretty far reaching research into the Mayan -"

"Because, I am more concerned with my own calendar then the Mayan calendar. And according to that, there is very little chance that the world will actually end until at least January 1, 2038."

That stopped Castle and his tracks. "Why 2038?

She held up her iPhone. "That's how far the scroll window goes on date settings before new years get dimmed out. They're there, but dimmed out. Of course, this same method also indicates that the world began on December 31, 1969, so I don't know what that says about you or anything."

He barked out a short laugh "Interesting methodology there," he commented.

She shrugged at him, but smiled a little. "About as solid as any other, when we're talking about the end of the world."

He nodded in response, but still didn't look completely convinced. She knew that most the time he was messing with her when he talked about things like zombies, curses, vampires etc. Still, she was pretty sure that there was something just a little genuinely unsettled in his expression.

"Tomorrow is not the end of the world, Castle. Really, it's not. What is going to be the end of the world, though, is if I can't find a lead in this case. I need to go dig around in the records room a little. The boys have their hands full as it is. You coming down to the dustbowl with me?"

He nodded and stood. "I am where you are today," he said.

A week ago, hell, even a day ago that might've unsettled her. But she's still in the strange shadowy world of yesterday. Still learning to live with the revelation that she wasn't necessarily just starting somewhere, that she was in this more deeply than she knew, all along.

She kept thinking, kept trying to work it out all morning. How she could possibly explain to him what she had realized last night? She should tell him, she knew that. Just say it straight out. But it wasn't what she did best. That was his territory. Honestly, it wasn't something she did well at all. But then, she's not quite certain it was something she'd ever been in a position to do before.

Alright, that was a lie. She knew she'd never been in this position before. No relationship had ever been like this before. But how to tell him? How to get it right?

And then, in one moment in the records room she knew. Because as soon as she entered the familiar space, she felt the tug in the direction of the area where her mother's file was kept. Felt that familiar need to just walk over and look one more time. Just check again, in case there was anything she had been missing that might link Bracken in a way that she could use.

But when she came back to herself, when her eyes refocused, she noticed that Castle had stepped forward just a little and turned. He'd placed himself between her and the potential danger of that file. He hadn't said a word, hadn't had to ask. He knew. And he stepped in to the danger zone between her and her own obsession. Again.

And that was it. That was when she knew exactly how to tell him, and thank him. For all of it.

* * *

By lunchtime, they had a few decent leads but nothing they wouldn't be waiting on for a while at least. And so, when Castle excused himself to the restroom, she pulle note card from her desk, scrawled the needed message on it, and set her plan in motion.

"Ready to head for lunch?" Castle asked as he returned.

"Sure," she said casually. "As long as you don't mind a little side trip."

"I'm good with anything. Why? Did something come back faster than expected?"

She shook her head. "No, it isn't case related. It's more of a personal side trip."

And then, by way of explanation she handed him the card. By now, they had gotten used to this, so he didn't even really look surprised. He studied the word for a moment and looked back up at her.

"Greetings?"

She nodded, but said nothing. He knew much better than to ask for hints by now. Besides, in the end this was his own game, after all. Of course he knew better.

And this one? She didn't want to talk about this one before she had to. She wanted to do it, knew it was exactly the right thing. Still, contemplating it - let alone the act of actually doing it - left her feeling just a little shredded inside. So she gave him absolutely no clues.

Which is probably why it absolutely shocked her when halfway to their destination point, Castle asked, his voice thick and heavy, like he knew, where exactly they were going. It made her grip to stearing wheel until her knuckles turned white. He couldn't know, could he? How could he possibly know?

But when she looked over at him, she knew. Somehow, he had figured it out. So, she cleared her throat. No point in line. "I – I thought I could... introduce you to my mother." She got the last part of the sentence out in a rush.

She nodded slowly. Yes, he had known. She could tell now. "I'd like that," he said softly.

"Good."

But then he managed to startle her again. "Kate," he said urgently, "I need you to pull over. Right here," he gestured to a nearby spot in the small side street.

She was confused, but did as he asked. "Castle, what –"

"I'll be right back," he said. He must have seen something startled in her expression because he added, "I promise, I'm only going just around the corner. It'll only take a moment, I promise."

Her mouth dropped open in surprise. Before she could protest, however, he was out of the car and closing the door. What was going on here? She still didn't know exactly how he knew where they were going. Didn't know what caused this sudden strange reaction. He seemed to like the idea of going, and yet...

It really was only a matter of moments before she saw him coming around the corner again. Whatever his sudden errand, it hadn't taken him long. It was then that she noticed he was carrying a small brown bag in his right hand.

It took just about everything she had, but she didn't ask. Kate just let him get back in the car clutching the brown bag on his lap. Castle was not a shy man. Not even a little bit. If he wanted her to know how he had known where they were going, or what was in that bag he'd have told her. He would tell her. She knew him, trusted him.

When she pulled up and parked at the small cemetery, he waited for her before he got out of the car. He was going to let her lead, let her accomplish her goal here before he had explained anything, apparently.

She made her way to the appropriate marker. She found it strange to realize that the cold and the snow actually helped. Usually, it just reminded her of the time of year in which her mother died. But today the blanket of snow obscured the lawn of the cemetery. The gray winter sky replaced the bright blue that haunted her memory of another cemetery.

Today it was very different than the last time she was here. When she came in the spring, she hadn't the strength to step any closer than she needed to keep her mother's name within her field of vision. Today she stepped up, swept her hands gently over the marker, cleared it of snow. Last time she was here she said nothing. Today she stepped back to take Castle's hand. "Hi Mom," she said softly. "This is Rick. I think you'd really like him," she murmured, voice shaking a little. Her mother would have loved him. At least as much as she did.

There was a moment's pause, and then Castle steps forward pulling something out of his little brown paper bag. It wasn't until he leaned down in front of the marker and then stepped away that Kate realized what he'd done. Flowers. He'd brought her mother flowers.

A small bouquet, really: a few white lilies and red carnations tied with a green bow. For Christmas, she realized. "Castle," she said, her voice raw with it. He'd known where they were going. He'd known exactly where to buy flowers along the route from the precinct to the cemetery.

"I figured the color would be right this week," he said. "Brighter. Before, just lilies."

"Before?" She nearly choked on it.

She only realized she was still holding his hand when he squeezed hers. "I should have asked, today," he said quietly. "But that summer, well there was no one to ask."

The summer? When she was gone. Eighteen months ago, after the shooting. "You came here over the summer?"

"I - at first I was looking for you. Thought you might come back to the city to see your Mom. It felt wrong to come without flowers, so I stopped along the way. Then, I just kept coming. I figured you couldn't and it was something I could do."

For her, he meant. When she wouldn't let him do anything more for her, he had brought flowers for her mother. It broke something in her. Caused the tears to rise up, spill over. So similar, yet so different from when last she stood here.

"Castle," she breathed out, overflowing with it. It wanted out. "Castle, I l -"

Then his finger was pressed gently to her lips. "No, Kate. Not here." Then he was swiping at her tears with the pads of his fingers.

At first she wanted to object. But then, she realized. That was why he'd stopped her. Because he already knew. He knew. And for the moment, she thought that might just be enough.


	22. December 21: Silent Night

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies!

**AN2**: Apologies for the lateness. Life has been testing both your writers, but never fear: the world has not ended, and Christmas will come on time.

_Hey CB: tag! You're it!_

* * *

DAY TWENTY ONE - Silent Night

December 21, 2012

* * *

Castle started in with his end of the world rumblings again around midnight. She settled him down by planning out that there has been no reports of calamity from Australia as it was already noon there. Then she resorted to slightly more physical methods of wearing him down and getting him to sleep.

On just about any other week, she would've considered calling in sick just to humor him. But she was only a few days back from her long weekend off. So, she resisted the temptation and when the 6 a.m. body drop came, she was almost relieved. At least she would be able to keep him busy.

The first time they paid no thought to coming in separately, they just went in together. What difference did it make anyway? Not that Gates knew, it was simply an extra effort for nothing. Besides, she had the feeling that this would be one of the days where she would get more done with him close than separated.

* * *

It was a busy enough day, on her feet for most of it. But, the early call meant they actually got home at a half decent hour. The newest case was still fresh enough that they were still in the discovery stage. Plenty busy, but not demanding yet. That's suited her plans for tonight just fine.

"Why don't you grab a shower and let me get started on dinner?" She suggested. They were at the loft tonight, but she had reached the point where she wasn't at all shy in the kitchen. In fact, she could tell that the suggestion piqued his interest. He was still somewhat startled by her "ninja cooking skills" as he called them.

"If something –" he started.

"Castle, stop. It's already tomorrow on the other side of the world, remember? Nothing's going to happen. It's not the end of the world."

"I know, but if it –"

"For the record," she said forcefully, looking him straight in the eye, "if anything happened here, ever, kindly remember who you're dealing with. I'd get to you, okay. No matter what."

He stared back at her for a long moment, and then nodded. "Okay."

When he finally made his way toward the shower, she headed for the kitchen grabbing the small bag of groceries she'd stashed there yesterday evening. She was glad she'd planned ahead for this particlar night. He wasn't loving the idea of being separated for long tonight.

And truth be known, while she knew better than to consider the end of the word senario, she was perfectly happy to stay close tonight. She started the water to boil the pasta, gathered up the sausage and greens and got a fire under them.

When she was sure that the water was still running, and there was no chance of Castle walking in on her, she ducked into the bedroom leave a note on his nightstand. Then she went back to finish up dinner. She hadn't made this particular dish in a while, but she liked it. Comfort food. Perfect for a stressed-out Castle. And if that didn't work, she had more cookie dough ice cream in the freezer.

When he joined her about five minutes later, dinner was nearly ready. "Hey, that smells amazing. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to how amazing you are in the kitchen. Why exactly have you spent years building a Styrofoam temple in your fridge?"

She shrugged. "Lack of motivation? I was alone a lot, not always worth it for one. Plus it's much more fun when you know someone is enjoying it." She added the broth and parmasean cheese, stirred absently. She'd had this in a restaurant once, ages ago and adapted it. It had been a while since she made it, and now she wondered why. It was fast, and good.

"I got your note," he said suddenly.

"Good," she said with a smile.

"Silent night?"

She shrugged. "It seemed like what the occasion required. World's not going to end tonight, but – if I thought mine was? This is what I would want to do. Just be here."

It didn't quite come out the way she had intended, and she wondered if she sounded just a little bit pathetic. But, it was the truth. If she had only a few hours to spend, a quiet night here curled with him would be perfect.

He must have understood, because he was smiling. "I can do that, what did you have in mind?"

"Movie marathon? A few silly Christmas specials before we have to pack them away for the year?"

He flipped on the tree, and when he turned back around to face her, she had the distinct impression that he lit himself up in the process. "Oh, yes. I know just where to start." He went over to where he kept his DVDs, pulled one off the stack. It looked like it'd been waiting for him.

She finished up dinner, and plated it up. Let him take charge of setting up the shower curtain and his projector. It really can be a fun way to watch movies, she's discovered.

She brought dinner over to sofa, handed him his plate. "What are we starting with?" She asked.

He handed her the DVD case She glanced down at it and laughed. "A Muppet Christmas Carol?"

"First of all, you did say something silly. Second of all, it's not just Muppets. It's musical, Michael Kane is brilliant and it's an incredibly well-done and mostly true to the original story."

"A blue, furry Charles Dickens who hangs out with a rat?" She kind of liked it too. He was right. It was well-made and a lot of fun.

"Absolutely!" He said, finishing the exchange from early in the film.

She headed for where she dropped her stuff by the door, and found the DVD she brought with her just in case he didn't have one. She felt a bit silly about it, really. But ever since their visit with Santa Claus earlier in the month, she couldn't stop thinking about it. She handed it over to Castle for his inspection.

"Miracle on 34th St. An interesting choice for you. And you're a remake girl."

"The kid is cute, and every time I thought about our trip to Macy's this year it made me think of Richard Attenborough in the movie, okay?"

Castle laughed that, and she saw her something familiar in his eyes that she couldn't quite place. "Hey, yeah he kind of does. Okay, round one is the 90s throwback collection, then."

"It's like a blast from my adolescence," she agreed, laughing as she made herself comfortable on the couch and picked up her own supper.

"Hush, you're making me feel old."

She laughed at that, leaned in to him a little as he came to sit next to her. It was on the tip of her tongue to say that she could think of several ways to counteract that effect, but she did actually want to eat dinner and watch movies, so she bit her tongue.

"Wow, this is even better than I thought it was going to be," Castle said, trying his pasta as she cued the first movie.

It amused her, this reaction of his to her cooking. "It's really not that big a deal Castle, you've made me dinner for dinner and a movie before."

"Oh yeah, but -" She could see him trying to find the right words, ended up biting her lip to keep from laughing just a little. "I just never expected that you would be this good at it? I guess that's it. I mean, I seen the contents of your refrigerator before. But like you said, it must be too much trouble for one person. I mean, it's that you're fast too. I was just in the shower."

She laughed, sent him an appraising look. "You just trying to get me in your kitchen Castle?" She asked, floating dangerously close to an old cliché and knowing it. Teasing him with it, just a little.

"More than you can possibly imagine." he said quickly. And then his eyes were wide. "I mean –"

Yeah, she knew what he meant. Knew he meant it, but didn't necessarily mean to say it. And now he was panicking, because he thought she might panic. Crap. Was she really that bad?

She leaned into him again, less playful this time and more intentional. "Breathe, Castle. You've already got me."

He turned to her, stared.

"Focus, Castle. Muppets, okay?" She reminded him, flipping on the movie.

They ate and laughed their way through Gonzo and Rizzo's antics. And she was actually glad that he chose this movie. Because really, Gonzo playing at being Charles Dickens? It was him. It was him all over. She found herself actually relieved though that the version he had didn't have the rather dramatic break up song for Scrooge and Belle. It was one of the most wonderful parts of the movie, really. Usually, she doesn't know why they took it out in later releases. But it was sad, broke the mood too soon. And that was probably why.

They were nearly through Miracle on 34th St. when she realized that they had inadvertently picked a set of movies about closed off people who discover the magic of Christmas. Prophetic maybe, or maybe just a little too common in Christmas films. But also, it fit.

And then almost unexpectedly, they came to the part of the movie she had all but forgotten about. The surprise ambush wedding at the end. And, talk of a baby. And she bit her lip, waiting see if he'd react. Because she wasn't fishing, she really wasn't. But, still. She kind of liked that moment in the movie. It was overly simplistic, maybe. But she was a sucker for it, even as she liked to decry happily ever afters as cheesy... Sometimes she couldn't resist them.

They still had a couple of hours before midnight when the movie ended. She stood up to take the disc out of the player. "Should we pick a couple more?" She asked.

"Sure, that works," he said easily.

But when she turned to ask him what movie, she found him standing just behind her. "What?" She asked

He said nothing, instead snagged her hand in his. He pulled her in close. "Castle?" She asked.

"Leave it. Come dance with me."

The thought sent her blood bubbling, because she couldn't stop thinking about the other night at The Old Haunt. How good it felt dancing with him.

"We don't have music," she pointed out.

He sighed at that, stepped away from her for a moment to the iPod connected to a set of speakers a few feet away. He skimmed through it for a moment, she suspected looking for playlist. Then, soft instrumental Christmas music began to play. And then he came back to her.

"Better?" He asked.

"Much."

She came back into his arms, settled in, started moving. No real pattern, just close with him. She could see the lights from the Christmas tree playing off his skin, dancing like stars. It was probably doing the same to her, she knew.

"The world can end if it wants," he said. "As long as I get to hold you until it does."

She buried her head in his neck, blushing just a little. It was silly, maybe. But he got to her with words like that. Because, yeah, she could live with that too. It was still just him she wanted, in the end.

They forgot about the movies.


	23. December 22: Ribbons and Bows

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies!

**AN2**: Dear Readers, I know this is terribly late. This past week, mew lost my grandmother unexpectedly. She raised me, was one of the central people in my life, and for a time, the world stopped. But she would be the first to tell me finish the story CB set out to tell. If you ate still reading, I thank you.

_CB, simple words are not enough. Thank you. For everything. _

* * *

DAY TWENTY THREE - Ribbons and Bows

December 22, 2012

* * *

She got the note on her coffee ring again that morning. Ribbons and Bows. He'd asked her if she would come over and wrap some of the remaining gifts he had to go through with her. She had a few more for the boys, something for Martha and Alexis.

She readily agreed. Wanted to see his face when he saw her supplies. She kind of loved them, and suspected he would as well.

It was Saturday, and normally she would not have gone in. But, they had that open case from yesterday, and she hated to let it sit. The idea had been to just go over the details that had come in overnight for a few hours in the morning.

Then the case heated up around lunch. They ended up running full tilt most of the day, getting it all together. It wasn't bad, kept things moving things interesting. But now was after 8 o'clock.

"Longer day than expected," she said.

"I know. You still up to coming over, getting the last of the wrapping done?"

"Honestly, yeah. I mean, it needs to be done anyway right? It's not like we can put off till January. And I'm still pretty wired." Fieldwork always revved her up and this one, well, it wasn't emotionally involved enough to wear her out. They were all emotional on some level. But it wasn't the kind that really got to her, today.

Castle nodded. "I can do it, I just wanted to make sure. Didn't want you to feel like because there was a note –"

She put her on his arm stop him. "I'm good, I promise. I do want to stop at my place and get some stuff though."

They made their way toward her car, which she was less hesitant to sign out now that she knew Gates knew, "I'm driving."

"Now, I do have plenty of supplies at the loft," he said. "In case you wanted to avoid the extra trip, I mean."

She grinned. Oh no, she wasn't going to miss out on this. It was too good, if she did say so herself. "Trust me Castle, this is one of those times you want to see my stuff."

She could hear muttering to himself halfway back to her apartment. Yeah, this was going to be fun.

* * *

She wasn't sure how, but she managed to keep his hands out of her bag of supplies until they reached the loft. They'd stop for pizza along the way, which was perfect for a night with busy hands.

"So, do I ever get to see what's your magic bag, or are we going to end up doing this in separate rooms?" He asked, sounding more than a little petulant. She was tempted to say option two, just because he was being such a big baby about it.

"If I wanted to do this alone, I could've done it at my apartment couldn't I?" She let him sweat it out for a moment, then moved closer to his tree and started unloading.

"Beckett, seriously is that black?"

She laughed, couldn't help it because he was practically horror stricken. "And green. And seriously, Castle, take closer look before you judge okay?"

He stepped up behind her, crowding in close to look over her shoulder. It was a little clingy, maybe, but she liked the way his warmth felt as it seeped through her sweater.

"Kate," he said, nearly choking on the sudden laughter, "is that – binary code?"

"Uh huh," she said, pleased with herself. She pulled out the other roll with a black background next. Normally, she wouldn't have gone immediately for the black either. But the themeing saved them, made them perfect for Christmas. In this case, the little critters the decorated the paper were in neat rows of green white and red.

"And SPACE INVADERS! Seriously, how are you this perfect?"

She turned to face him, her hands coming up to grip both sides of his collar. She felt his arms come around her a second later. "Not perfect, far from it. And you of all people, know that better than anyone."

He brought his hand up to run his fingers through her hair, then trailed them down the side of her cheek. "Perfect for me. You're perfect for me, Kate. You keep me on my toes, and you drive me crazy, and you surprise me every five minutes, and I love it."

She could see him holding it back, just for a moment. Could see across his face the words wanted to say, but didn't dare. She thought they'd been through this. He stopped her from saying it herself the other day, but he'd known, hadn't he?

"Castle -"

"Show me what else you brought," he said, his fingers brushing over her cheek again.

She knew he was evading. Knew it and hated it. What she didn't know was why. Still, she wasn't going to push the issue. Not now. So, she turned back to her bag, pulled out the light blue wrapping paper with snowflakes. There were more traditional characters here, elves, snowmen, reindeer, and others, but -

"They're all robots!" Castle exclaimed. She felt his arms come around her from behind. "Kinda cute, too."

"I thought you might approve," she said. "I wrapped yours up in this." She pulled out the wrapped package, pleased with her work. The red ribbon and bow offset the white paper and the unique markings that might have been square snowflakes but weren't.

"Are those QR codes? Do they work?"

"Mmmhmm."

She felt his hands drop from her waist and realized he was reaching into his pocket for his phone. She turned slightly, just enough to reach back and grab his wrist. "Nope. No peeking until you open it."

"But Beckett..."

"Quit whining, you big baby," she scoffed, but she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek to lessen the sting of her teasing. "I promise, this will make it more fun in the end. Plus, you'll have to avoid ripping the paper in order to save all the codes. So there's a challenge in it too."

"Actually, that is ridiculously cool. Definitely cooler than the way I wrapped yours," he said, somewhat distracted. Then he glanced over at the tree. "Oh, actually I think yours is still –" He stepped away from her, "I'll be right back."

She shook her head, smiling. It hadn't been her intention to turn this into a competition. Although, it was kind of funny to realize she had out geeked him. Though, it did bother her just a little bit that they had come dangerously close to having a moment, and he had steered them away. She was going to have to do something about that, soon. But if it was tonight, he would think the only reason she was doing it was because of what had happened earlier. God, they were overthinking this, the pair of them.

"Here we go. Until about a half-hour ago, I considered this pretty original." She turned to see him carrying what looks like a stack of hardbound books tied tongether by a piece of ribbon. She stepped over to him for a closer look.

They were in fact a stack of books, Victorian-style that said Merry Christmas, and various other appropriately themed things. But, they weren't books either. "Those are boxes?" She asked.

"Yeah. And I thought, well becauseÖ" He gestured between them. "It seemed like a fun idea, you know?"

She nodded. "Castle, those are beautiful. I mean outside of the whole gift from a writer thing. They're really beautiful."

He walked over and set the stack under the tree. "Yeah, I kind of figured maybe you could use them as a decoration next Christmas. See how I snuck that in there?"

"I do. Very clever, Castle."

He grinned, and then went over to grab a slice of pizza from the counter. "Well, I know Mother is more or less out for the night, but we should still get moving just in case."

"Right." She placed his gifts under the tree, and then set to work arranging her supplies and pulling out the gifts she had yet to wrap.

Castle seemed particularly impressed with the Smart Pen she had bought for Alexis. It recorded lectures while notes were written and synced the audio to the writing. "That's amazing, how did you find that?"

She shrugged. "Just did a little research and thought about what I would've liked to have had at her age."

"That is seriously cool. And lastly, thank heaven for you because I have no idea what a college girl likes, really." He said shaking his head.

"Oh come on Castle, you went to college. It can't be all that different just because she's a girl."

He shrugged, pulled over a gift she assumed could only be for his mother. "It was different for me I think. I was wrapped up in writing my first book and –" He looked away, suddenly seeming uncomfortable.

"And Kyra?" She asked gently.

He nodded but said nothing. She took a deep breath and went for it. "She broke your heart, didn't she?"

He looked up at her, wide-eyed. "Kate –"

She stepped over him, pushed the present he was working on to the side. "You can talk to me about it, you know. I mean, I know you were in love with her. And the times I talked to her briefly on that case, she really did seem like a sweet girl."

Castle looked away, then nodded slowly. "She was a very sweet girl. And I did think I was in love. I thought she was in love with me. But then, one day, she said she needed to get away for a while, needed some space to think. And then she never came back. And that was it. The next time I saw her, she was getting married."

It sent an icy chill down Kate's spine. She left and never came back? Looking for space? Suddenly, the full force of what she had done in that summer came rushing back to her. Shit. She didn't know but still, shit. While she had been wrapped up in herself, he had been thinking she was never coming back. He was leaving flowers at her mothers grave, and thinking she was never coming back.

But she had. She had come back. She'd gone looking for him when he wasn't there. But, there had been the file she needed. Did he think? Even over a year later, did he still not know?

"I was always coming back, you know."

He looked up at her, and then wrapped his fingers around her hand. "I know that now. I know a lot of things now I didn't know back then." She didn't know if he was talking about college, or that summer over year ago. She wasn't sure it mattered.

"I thought I was in love with her, Kate. But the truth was, I think she was the first person who wanted me for me. And at the time, I thought that was the same thing. But I know more now."

For a long moment she was overwhelmed, and didn't exactly know what to say. The more they made their way through the season, the more she learned about him, and about how much she maybe didn't really know. But she knew more now too, and the learning was good. So eventually, she just squeezed his hand in understanding, and they went back to wrapping.

They were nearly done with their last packages when Alexis unexpectedly came through the door of the loft. Kate looked around quickly to be certain that nothing they were still wrapping was for her and needed to be hidden.

"Alexis," Castle said in surprise. "Wasn't expecting you tonight."

The redhead stopped a few feet away from them, looked them over and said, "Yeah, I was studying at a friends house a few blocks away and I decided I didn't want to go over back to the dorm tonight if, that's alright."

"Of course sweetheart, it's always your room after all."

Kate wondered if Alexis was bothered by seeing her there unexpectedly. She didn't seem to be, and they had been making progress over this past month. But still, she didn't want to make the girl uncomfortable in her own home.

"Thanks Dad. Oh, hi Kate! Sorry, I've been staring at my Art History book for so long my eyes have crossed and my brain has melted. Some elective I picked, and the teacher is evil. I hear he flunks the Art majors at least twice."

"Oh yuck," Kate said in sympathy, "that sounds just awful."

"Pretty much," she said, putting her coat away. "Are you guys wrapping?" She asked as she made her way over to where they sat on the floor.

"Just finishing actually," Castle said.

"Dad!" Alexis exclaimed suddenly. Kate saw that she was peering at one of the Detective's packages. "How geeky can you be? Don't be so weird that you scare Kate off."

Kate looked down at the floor, letting her hair fall over her face to hide her amusement. But she could hear Castle's own amusement in his voice. "Not possible, Alexis. At least not because of that. Those are hers."

Kate forced herself to look up, and saw Alexis blushing brightly. The younger girl's mouth worked for a moment, as she seemed to be looking for something to say. Finally, she laughed. "You know what? The two of you totally deserve each other," she said, still laughing. Then she turned and ran up the stairs room.

After they had heard Alexis's door close behind her, Kate turned her eyes to Castle, and found him staring back at her. For a long moment, neither of them said anything. And then Castle reached over and brushed hair behind her ear. "Best relationship endorsement ever," he said finally.

Yeah, yeah it was. And for a while after that, Kate seriously considered buying the zombie paper next year.


	24. December 23: Traditions

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies!

**AN2**: First, thank you to all those who sent kind words both in public and private. Second, this chapter closely resembles a conversation in Secret Santa. Some of that is deliberate, although some details changed to fit the details of our story, A few of which have been long planned, but are still to come.

For CB, who always manages to catch the small things I miss.

* * *

DAY TWENTY FOUR - Traditions

December 23, 2012

* * *

"So," Castle's voice startled her at the same time that a small note appeared right where she had been about to sign off on the last of the morning's paperwork. "What are yours?"

"My what?" she asked, then read the slip of paper. 'Traditions' was apparently the latest theme of his holiday project. Well, crap. This is the conversation she had been hoping to avoid. But then, it was going to have to come up sooner or later. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve after all. She sighed and looked at the clock, "Hey, it's time for lunch. How about we go to Remy's and grab a burger?"

She couldn't do this here, right now. But she was going to have to do it. Because clearly, he wasn't going to let her off the hook.

"Okay, but are you going to answer my question?"

She was relieved when he seemed to take the change of subject in stride. She tried for a smile, which was made easier when she turned to see that he had her coat ready for her. Castle might be childish, he might sometimes be a pain, but he was also a gentleman. "Yes, when we get there."

"I can live with that."

Thank goodness for small favors.

* * *

They sat at their usual table, and the waitress already had taken their order. Kate was grateful that it was hardly necessary to say anything anymore to the staff here. They were such regulars, they were a known quantity. And right at this moment, that one less thing to worry about was a relief. Because somehow she had to find a way to tell Castle the truth about her Christmas traditions. And he had been so wonderful all season long, she knew it was going to be harder than she had originally thought it might. Finally, Castle broke into her reverie, as he she had known he would.

"Traditions?" he asked, "Are you going to tell me what yours are?"

Despite knowing this was coming ever since he had dropped his note this morning, Kate was still startled by the reality of the moment. She took a deep breath and tried to pull herself together. "Yeah, Castle, I'm getting to that."

She gave herself one last moment, tried to form the words into some sort of order that she thought would cause him the least amount of pain. He had done so much for her in this last month, she owed him at least that much.

"My Christmas traditions are pretty simple... why don't you tell me what yours are first?" She hadn't known that was what was going to come out of her mouth first. Shit, she hated stalling. But that was what she was doing. On the other hand, she did think that having a clear idea of his expectations might make this easier.

It took him a moment to respond to her, and Kate worried that he might call her on stalling. But he didn't. Finally he said, "Sure, I can do that."

"You know several of them by now, the Christmas Tree farm, the cookie baking, all of that stuff. But when I asked, I meant about Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so I'll tell you what we do on those days." He smiled, and Kate settled in and listened.

"There really isn't much... Christmas Eve is just a day together, and it's a little different every year. Sometimes, we work jigsaw puzzles, sometimes, it's board games. Then, on Christmas Day, we listen to The Nutcracker Suite, and maybe watch A Christmas Carol, preferably the one with George C. Scott, but we've watched the one with Patrick Stewart as well. Then, around six, we have dinner together, followed by watching movies. One year, we watched a marathon of that Joss Whedon show."

She wonders if he timed that last part right for the end, just to lighten the moment. He nearly does succeed in making her laugh. And in that damn show. He gives her so much crap over Nebula 9, but really that wasn't any better, as far she could see. Certainly didn't last any longer.

"So, I ask again, what are your traditions?" Castle said, apparently done with his list.

Kate took a long, slow sip of the strawberry milkshake she'd ordered before she spoke. One last moment of stalling too hopefully gather the courage. "My tradition is also simple," she said again, by way of beginning.

"Ever since I've been a rookie, I've taken the Christmas shift. It's not much, but to me, it makes a difference. I keep watch, while the families in New York celebrate, and maybe, just maybe, I help keep some of them safe by doing so."

There was more to it than that really, her inability to face the season. All of the memories that it brought up of that last Christmas. That part, though, she hated about herself. Because she knew her mother would hate it. But she still hadn't been able to shake it. Honestly, Castle had done more in that vein in the last month then anything else had in the last 13 years.

She was a bit surprised though when his thoughts seemed to go that way. She had thought he would be more preoccupied with whatever his expectations of her might have been.

"You don't do anything with your dad?" He asked, the idea clearly surprising him as she well knew it probably should. But she knows she has to go for the truth here.

She shook her head, "No, he goes to his cabin, and I work. Since my mother died, Christmas is just another day. When we packed up the decorations those many years ago, it was like we packed them up for good. They haven't been opened since."

She sighed, and reached forward to take his hand. He deserved to know, and maybe it would help. "That's why this thing we've been doing? It's been so very important to me, Castle, it has helped so much in bringing that excitment back to me, but I also have this. It's my duty."

Her piece having been said, all she could do was wait. She watched Castle process at all, new that he probably wanted to object. Wanted to tell her that it was time to move forward, move on. There was a small part of her that almost hoped he would. She knew, yet she couldn't quite make herself make the move on her own. Finally, Castle seemed to come to a decision.

"Then, if it's your duty, who am I to stand in the way?" he said. "Thank you, for sharing this with me. I'm glad it came up today, and like this, and not in some way where feelings would get hurt." He squeezed her hand, and it helped more than she would have thought it might. "We're still having Christmas dinner, and there will be a spot set for you, if you should change your mind."

"I know," she smiled, "and thank you for being so understanding."

"Always, for you," he answered. That helped too, it did. Because she knew this had still hurt him, had always known that it would. For a while, she even considered that she might be able to change her plans. But in the end, it was all she really knew how to do. They had come a long way together over the last month but somehow the moment just seemed too scary when it came. And if she couldn't bring herself to change this one tradition, she comforted herself with the thought that at least she wasn't running. That had to be a step in the right direction, right?

As they stood together from the table at Remy's 20 minutes later to head back to work, she saw something in Castle's eyes. Some look that she recognized. Not the one that one of his writing either, although it was similar. She felt her stomach twist a little. He had an idea, was clearly forming a plan.

Kate's first instinct was to call him on it, make him stop whatever it was. But, thus far he wasn't riding her about Christmas. So, she decided to let it slide. Let him make his plans, let him finish out his Christmas project. She could do that.

Besides, she had plans of her own, for him. Tommorrow. She smiled in spite of herself, and her nervous happiness continued all the way back to the precinct.


	25. December 24: Magic

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies!

**AN2**: Yes it's been a while. My fault, again. Regrettably, the day after the last chapter was posted, my husband landed in the ER. He's fine, but minor surgery was involved. SO, we've been having one heck of a month. Sorry the story suffered a delay, but we wanted to get the endgame right. So one more chapter coming, very soon. Thanks for sticking with this one!

For CB, for making it easy to believe in magic. And myself.

* * *

DAY TWENTY FIVE - MAGIC

December 24, 2012

* * *

She had everything laid out before she even gave thought to the idea the castle might have had plans of his own for some sort of Christmas Eve message. This was, after all his game to play really. He let her hijack it from time to time, hadn't said anything about what he might've had in store for those days when she chose to surprise him instead. But this is Christmas Eve and maybe?

No, no she wasn't going to do that. Wasn't going to give herself a convenient out from this plan that she's been putting together for weeks now. Not that it's taken a lot of planning, more like convincing herself. Convincing herself that it was real, and not crazy.

"Probably both," she's muttered out loud as she made her way to her destination. It has been a fairly early day for Monday, thanks in part to the work should put on the most recent case over the weekend. That, and the fact that she had the Christmas shift tomorrow. That suited her fine. Suited the plan fine.

As she approached the small school building, she began typing her note to Castle into my phone. Classes had dismissed for the hoilday, of course, so she knew she didn't have to be worried about being approached by anyone as she made her way towards the steps.

She didn't go to the main door, but to the stoop of the neighboring building. The one that housed the schools additional classroom building. Seating herself on the second step, she glanced over her text message.

I'm at The Studio School. Meet me.

She sent it, even though she knew it was not a note, not in the proper style of their holiday arrangement. But she smiled little, knowing that if she just waited she would have that opportunity in a moment.

Her smile widened when her phone buzzed with the answer.

Thought you weren't working again until tomorrow? What's going on?

Now she hit just the right combination of keys, and sent the proper note she'd been waiting for: Magic.

And then she waited.

* * *

When Castle came around the corner at the end of the street she didn't call out to him. Instead she waited. She deliberately hadn't sent him directions to the school. Knew he would have to look them up. And the directions would take him to the other building. Not quite to her, from the direction he'd come.

She stood up from the step, but didn't hurry, just brushed off her hands in the cool December air, and took a few steps over to lean against the wall. Even with the movement he still didn't see her. That suited her fine, too. She watched as he glanced around the obviously unoccupied building, looking for some sign of her. Then, when he reached for his phone in his back pocket, she called out.

"Castle," she said, her voice quiet in the gathering darkness.

She saw him turn, jumping really, as if he'd been startled anyway. The volume, or lack thereof, of her voice having apparently very effect on that.

"Kate, there you are, I was starting to feel worried."

"Sorry," she said softly. Although, really she wasn't. She'd set them up, and she knew it. "The school uses both buildings."

"Any way I was supposed to know that?" He asked, huffing out a laugh as he spoke.

She shrugged loosely. "Well, I guess that would depend on your knowledge of Christmas lore, wouldn't it?"

"On my knowledge of –." He stared at her openly, and she smiled at his confusion. She pushed yourself off the wall with her foot, came away from the plaque she has been standing under then turned back to nod to it, drawing his attention.

She watched, somewhat passively as he stepped over to read. She bit her lip slightly at his slight intake of breath as he realized what it was he was reading.

"Virgina O'Hanlon? As in, 'yes, Virgina, there is a Santa Claus? Why, Katherine Beckett, I am astounded at your knowledge of Christmas lore."

"Oh, come on. Everybody knows that part. Well the beginning and the end. But there's a middle too..."

He was staring at her now, eyes wide. She wondered if he knew where this is going, couldn't tell. It made a shiver of uncertainty whisper through her just to think about it. But she was here, she was doing this, one way or another.

She didn't know how, but she'd put a few paces between them as she readied herself. She turned to find him watching her intently. She took a deep breath, dove in.

"...but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love -" She faltered for a moment, lost track. Because there were tears coming to her eyes, and damn it, she hadn't meant for that to happen. But there it was. So she took a few steps back to him, composed herself, and finished. "...love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond."

And, shit. She's crying and he's staring at her, and this wasn't the plan. Damn it. She'd still been trying to scrape it back together, but the breath she drew came like a gasp, and then he was reaching for her.

She stopped him, clamping her hands around his wrists as she looked down at the space between them. And when she bought her eyes to his again, she could tell they were at least more collected than his now seemed to be.

"All of my life, I've questioned everything. Some of that, it's just who I am. But some of it is - too much. Seeing too much of the worst of the world. Knowing to much about how it feels to have everything fall apart. I stopped believing, lost what little faith I might have had, because, what good had it ever done me? What good did it serve the world I lived in? But,"

She reached out, drew her hand across the line of his jaw, "In all of the darkness, the dark of the world...there's also you." Her eyes roamed his face. "You're my magic, Castle."

"Kate, I -"

She kissed him, cut him off. She couldn't let him pull her further off track, because there was more. They could sort more words out later. She pulled back, tugging on his arm. "Come on, I want to show you something."

But he was being stubborn. He was going to hold his ground. "Kate."

She turned back from leading him, faced him, this time playful, quirking an eyebrow. "I'm trying to take you home, Castle. You objecting?"

And then he came willingly. "No Ma'am. Course not."

* * *

It's a quiet ride back to her place. They ride silently in the shared cab. She hadn't expected that, but thus far none of this has gone quite the way that she hand imagined that it might. And she was greatful for the quiet. Because, yes, she was nervous.

Even though that made no sense. The hard part was done, really. But, she hadn't given him a chance to speak yet. Wasn't sure that he fully understood how much he'd done for her, this month and every day since last spring. No, since she'd met him, really. But maybe, when he came up, he'd understand.

Or do she hoped, as the cab pulled up in front of her building.

He was sticking close, closer than could be considered normal, as they made their way up to her apartment. She wasn't complaining about that, either. Normally, clingy Castle was irritating, but not so much tonight. Tonight, it just felt like backup.

When she turned the key in her lock, she reached in ahead of her and flipped the wall switch. She knew from the sudden space between them that her partner had frozen in place in her doorway, even as she stepped further inside.

"Kate," he said, that same stunned breathless thing he'd managed back on 95th street.

She turned to him then, the corner of her mouth quirking up. "Been hearing that a lot tonight," she said softly.

"With reason," he murmured as he stepped inside finally. "You've been stunning me a lot tonight." She watched him make a slow turn in her living room, taking it in.

It wasn't as if she'd gone overboard. It wasn't like her place suddenly looked like his loft. There was a tree, yes. A few strands of icicle lights dangling from the insides of her windows, and from the rafters of the space between her living room and office space. She'd set the presents they had wrapped a few nights ago at his place along the steps beside her kitchen in place of the usual books, geeky paper and all.

"This is amazing, Kate." He was fingering one of the glass balls on her tree. Some shiny, some matte finished, they were silver, ivory, and yes, purple. There were other ornaments, pine cones and present boxes he hadn't examined yet, but she couldn't wait to see his face when he did. It wasn't traditional by any stretch but -

"This is amazing," he said. "It feels like you, Kate. Modern and vintage and contradictory." She watched him examine one of the present ornaments. Her smile grew.

"Yeah, I like it. It's true, though, what I said yesterday. I haven't done this in so long. But we've been," she gestured in the air between them, even though he was only half looking at her, his eyes wandering back to glance at the ornament he was still holding. "Doing the season together, and I realized that I hadn't had a real Christmas for nearly as many years as I had memory of them growing up. That scared me, a little."

She had is attention fully now, she saw. Though he brought the small present with him even so. He hadn't worked out what it was yet, but she knew his mind was getting there.

"Kate, you know you didn't have to do this all alone, right?"

She shook her head as he reached her, placed a quelling hand on his chest. "I know. Castle, I know you would have - I just, needed the first time to be all me. I couldn't make myself ask my Dad for things from the house, so when I started planning it a couple weeks ago, I just went with it. And I wanted to surprise you."

His smile was soft and understanding but there was a shadow of something there in his eyes. She studied it for a moment before she recognized it. Something like the look he had worn when she had told him about going to therapy.

Ah, shit. She'd done it again, hadn't she? Wanted him to see the shiny completeness, rather than the messy process of working through it. So she'd put in the work, alone. Left him out, and he'd wanted to be there. But - this was different. So, so different. He knew that, right?"

"Castle - Rick - look at me." That did it, snapped him right clear of whatever melancholy place he had gone to, as she had known that it would. She used his given name so infrequently, even as he had taken to favoring hers, that it always commanded attention.  
"None of this," she gestured around the space in which they stood, "none of it could exsist without you. You made me feel it again, don't you see? You made me want it. And I wanted to make you a present." She tapped the tiny present in his hand for emphasis as she finished.

His eyes followed her finger and she grinned again. He was going to get it this time, she'd make sure.

"These are words?" He asked, turning the tiny box in his hand. Then he stopped abruptly. She leaned up to glance over, see what he was seeing. Oh. Nikki and Rook are on this one. From that first book. Huh. Good choice, Castle. "Mine?" He asked after a moment.

"Um hm," she said quietly. "And mine. From the set of books I had in my apartment. They were ruined for reading, but I couldn't bring myself to just toss them."

She watched him examine it yet again, her heart rate picking up at the expression on his face. "You made these?" He asked, looking back at her tree.

"Yeah. Few nights when I couldn't sleep for a few hours." The disapproval in his eyes is immediate. "Stop it," she said. "Like you aren't up in the early hours of the morning writing. How is this different?" So what if it his place she's messing around in the kitchen while he is distracted with his laptop, if here she gets a little crafty, now and then?

"Different."

She gaped at him, pushing back against his chest. Just a bit though. She was liking keeping him close way too much tonight. "Like how?"

"Occupational hazard, Beckett. Stuff comes out when it comes out."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Not unlike 4 AM body drops?" That seemed to get him. As well it should. She knew that he worried, more than anyone else she'd ever been involved with. But that wasn't new to their relationship, in reality her partner had always been teasing at the edges about how she ate, when she went home. But this was ridiculous.

"Yes, okay. I can see how that would mess with your sleep schedule. Still, I like to think you at least get some sleep."

"More with you, if that helps," she offered, trying to soothe him down enough to get back on point.

"I'm not sure that always counts Kate," he said dryly.

She swatted him. "Oh that's not what I meant, and you know it." But looking at him didn't help. Because he had that we are in his eyes, and she could feel them blush rising on her skin. "Anyway," she tried again, "yes, I made those. All from yours, actually. It seemed appropriate for the tree, all things considered. And it felt like a better idea to give them a second life, rather than just let them sit there broken, or get tossed."

His eyes grew wide with his smile. "I think that's the nicest compliment my books have ever had," he said.

Normally, she would've scoffed at him. But she could tell that he was being genuine, and so she brought her hand up to her lips, fingers tapping against her teeth as she curled them there. "You like it?" Damn, he made her shy sometimes.

"Kate, I love it. I'm amazed, and honored and - god I'm crazy about you," he said, the last of his words coming in a rush.

She laughed, slanting her body into his as his arm came up around her, pulling her close. She went, let him lead her back to her tree, where she watched him put the ornament back on it's branch before tugging her over to her sofa.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"Mmm, no...sleepy," she murmured as he brought her against his side.

"Told you," he said, his chuckle jostling her slightly.

"Hush. Watch the tree with me," she said, her eyes blinking slowly in the glow of twinkling lights.

"Okay."

They stayed that way, content in the quiet of the Chistmas Eve night. He was warm and solid beside her, around her. His fingers drew through her hair in long strokes, lulling her.

Sometime later, she was drifting on the edge of consciousness when she felt her world shift. "Castle?" She tried to open her eyes, but they were heavy, and she was comfortable.

"Shh, Kate. Sleep," he said, his voice soft but in front of her now rather than beside her. Had he moved her to bed? She thought so as she felt the warmth of a blanket coming around her.

"'Kay," she breathed out. She felt the warm weight of his hand in her hair again, anchoring her to sleep. For a few moments, she could feel the slow, soothing, caress of his fingers again.

From somewhere she couldn't grab hold of, she heard his voice say, "Hey, Pumpkin," but caught as she was between dreams and reality, it held no meaning and slipped away from her. And then she faded out.


	26. December 25: Family

**Spirit of the Season**

**Disclaimer: **Don't claim to own Castle. The writing geniuses over there are much more evil.

**AN: **What happens when two writers decide to tell the same story from different points of view? The working title for this was "The Project of Awesome!" We hope you agree. For Castle's perspective follow: CuffedBunnies!

**AN2**: So, way late. What can I say? Life kicked my family's rear, and I didn't want to destroy this with a bad ending. I hope the wait was worth it, and you are still reading. If you are, thanks for hanging in!

CB, you're the best. Truly, the very best. Thanks for bringing your awesome into my life.

* * *

DAY TWENTY SIX - FAMILY

December 25, 2012

* * *

She woke alone, and that was the first thought that crossed her mind on Chistmas morning. He'd been right there with her when she fell asleep, but the sheets on the other side of her bed were cold when she reached for him. Cold enough to make her shiver and draw back, snuggling deeper under the blanket she dimly remembered him drawing around her in the night.

She considered for a moment that he may gone back to his loft earlier this morning. To spend Christmas morning with his daughter. She certainly couldn't blame him for that. This was after all a day for family. But the thought cast a cloud over her. Because despite her resistance at times, she wanted him here. Especially on days like today.

But then she heard the sound coming from her living room. Nothing loud, nothing threatening; a presence: shuffling feet, the murmuring of voices. She can't hear the words, but she knows it's Castle's voice. She knew that quiet tone better now than she's known anything since the quiet murmur of her parent's voices in the nights of childhood. There is another tone, too. Female, and she wondered if he was on speakerphone with his daughter as he dressed. He did that at times, never wanting to turn down her calls because of busy hands. But - he sounded off.

"Castle? Are you okay?" She called finally, wanting to know at least that staying with her last night hadn't caused some kind of stress between him and Alexis. Not now, not when it had started to feel so very real to her.

"I'm fine," he said, sounding way more breathless than he should. "Just... I'll be right there." What on earth was he doing out there?

She pulled herself from bed, slipped on a pair of slippers, and went to investigate. Just as she reached the door, it opened and Castle stopped in front of her.

"You're still dressed," she noted. And in yesterday's clothes, rumpled and worn, like he'd lounged in them, but hadn't changed for the morning. Or for bed. "Why?"

"Um... I forgot to... I mean, I, I wasn't sleepy, so I was..." he pulled the small iPad in his coat pocket, "I was writing on my iPad, and just finished the latest chapter." He smiled, but there was too much relief in it, he was too nervous. She knew that look. From suspects, and really, she knew it even better on him. Richard Castle was up to something.

"That sounds like the biggest crock I've ever heard. What have you been-" she pushed past him, and stopped. "What on Earth?"

Her living room had changed. Not dramatically, in most respects. The decorations and lights had multiplied a bit, she noted. But there were presents beneath the tree...and stockings too. It was - holy crap. It was like a visit from Santa Claus.

He'd - somehow, just as she'd told him the night before, he'd been her magic. Her very own Chistmas magic. It was crazy, and amazing and so very very him, that the sight of it broke her wide open.

He looked nervous, she noted as she turned back to him. Like he'd been caught making trouble and was frantically searching for an explanation. Ridiculous, ridiculous man. How could he not see it?

So she did what it was she did now, when he couldn't see her love, her awe right in front of him. She pulled him in for a kiss. Why change a winning strategy, right? It thrilled her a little when, as he had that first night, he hovered there, still unsure. She wanted to laugh, and cry, and so many other things. But it was the tears that won out, hovered precariously on her lashes.

She pulled away first and looked up at him. Gratitude making her eyes shine. "Thank you," she said, "Thank you so much for this, Castle."

She kissed him again, then pulled him into the living room. "How did you do all this?"

He smiled, "What makes you think I did it?"

"You are still in the same clothes you were in when I went to sleep, there are dark circles under your eyes that tell me you haven't slept... should I go on?" Really? That was going to be his strategy question her deductive reasoning skills?

"All right, yes, it was me, and Alexis... and Mother. I called them after you went to sleep." He pointed to the stockings she had noted earlier. "There's even a stocking for you... not sure where the other one came from. Mother took care of that while Alexis and I set out the gifts and other decorations."

Kate smiled and bumped her hip against his. "Is that a hint?"

"Hint?" he asked, just as he took a seat on her sofa. "You think that was a hint?"

She rolled her eyes as she walked over to the wall, then took the two overly-stuffed stockings down. She looked at both of them for a moment, then passed one to him. "This has some kind of Angry Birds thing in the top of it, so I'm willing to bet it's yours."

"Awesome!" he took it and started to dump it out on the coffee table, but stopped when he realized she hadn't joined in.

"You okay?" he asked, as she sat down beside him.

She took a deep breath and nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. Better than I have been in a long time, actually. Your family has been so wonderful to me, Castle."

It overwhelmed her, more than she'd ever expected. She'd never really done this before, molded herself into someone else's life, their family. Relationships had been about building a connection between the two of them, whoever the man in question might have been. But she and Castle? They'd started from a different place. They'd started out in love.

It hadn't occurred to her at the time what that would mean. How invested they have been in this relationship meant that they had, in so many ways skipped forward, slipped into as much a private partnership as a public one. And that meant the connection she found herself building now was with his family.

And his mother and daughter? They had stayed up all night long to give her a Christmas morning. Not since her childhood had anyone given her such a gift. She knew Castle, new how he had come to this idea, the love he'd put in it. But his family? For her? It took her breath away.

"Kate?" He asked softly.

His voice startled her from her revelry. She looked back at the stocking and started unloading it. "What are you waiting on?" she asked, when he didn't follow her lead, "Come on, Castle, what did you get?"

She watched him as he smiled slowly and joined in. She didn't know how long he might stay, how long they could remain in this bright Christmas bubble before the heavier realities of her life might intrude. But she would accept the gift of this day for what it was, treasure always this first Christmas, this first season they had created together.

* * *

There was a case. Of course there was case. On that day, of all days, when she would have very much liked for it to be quiet and calm, she ended up embroiled in the details of a new case. And because it was Christmas, and she wanted him to be home with his family, she didn't call Castle. But she wanted to.

Because this should have been easy, and it wasn't. There was something, hovering at the edges. Something that she knew would give her the answer. But she doesn't not see it. She wanted her partner, needed him. But she wouldn't ask. So, she drank too much coffee, the crap and the espresso interchangeably, and stared stubbornly at the board.

"Pencils down class," she heard, his voice coming from behind her suddenly.

"Castle, what are you doing here?" she asked, looking up. He was supposed to be at home, having dinner with his mother and daughter.

And then he was pressing something into her hand, and she looked down to find a small note. Of course. She unfolded it. "Family," she read quietly. Yes, which was exactly where he was supposed to be right now.

"There's food in the break room. You should come, you should eat. Alexis and Mother are setting up as we speak."

His mother and Alexis were what? As much as his family had already surprised her this day, she found herself more stunned than ever. Her eyes shifted back to the board, if only to keep the tears at bay. She had to draw a line at letting him - them - move her to tears on the job. Right?

"The puzzle's going to be here, and you got a better chance of solving it after you've eaten. I know you think your brain can function on a liquid diet, Beckett, but even you need actual sustanence occasionally."

She wasn't really objecting to eating Christmas dinner with him. Or his family, the boys...oh, their family; his redheads, her precinct family. That was amazing. "You know, I do eat Castle," she defended, anyway. Because, honestly, he knew that. He fed her often enough. Had just that morning before she'd come in, in fact.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to need a judge's ruling on whether a half a box of Ritz crackers and the remains of a jar of peanut butter actually qualifies as eating. And unfortunately for you, it's after hours and holiday. So while we're waiting on that particular decision, why not try to eat some actual food?"

Her mouth opened and then closed abruptly. "How did you know that I had – "

He raised his eyebrows at her. "I do now," said, and she could hear the pleasure in his voice.

She closed her eyes, and shook her head. She should have known. Finally, she threw down the marker she was holding. "All right, fine, you win. At least as far as I'm concerned. But you have to get it past the captain and good luck with that."

"Oh believe me I'm way ahead of you there," he offered.

She stared at him, stunned. "You've got to be kidding me, seriously?" At his grin and nod, she shot her eyes in the direction of the captain's office and back to her partner.

She took a step closer. "Seriously, Castle what the heck did you do to her?" Her eyes flicked the break room. "You didn't drug the coffee did you?" She asked in a hushed whisper.

"What? No! Seriously, you're asking me that? That's what you are going with, really?"

"Well I don't see how else you could've gotten away with it." She supplied uncertainly. Surely his little Secret Santa gift had worn off by now.

"Beckett, you wound me. After all this time, you have so little faith in my powers of persuasion? You ought to know better than anyone else after all."

"Oh shut up," she said lightly.

He grinned back. "Shall we go?" He asked, gesturing to the break room.

She went. Because, really, how could she not? She was not even surprised to find both Lanie and Gates in the break room when they arrived. She knew Little Castle had ways of charming the ME, and aparently Martha had some kind of improbable pull over Gates. Who knew?

Castle ended up getting pulled into whatever Ryan and Espo were bickering over as they filled their plates, so Kate made her way over to Alexis and Martha.

"Oh, Kate! Dear, I'm glad you're here, Alexis was worried we'd have to take your dinner to your desk." Martha was smiling, but Kate had to fight the urge to blush. Was she that much of a workaholic?

"Gram!" Alexis beat her to it, her skin brightening nearly enough to match her hair. She turned to Kate. "I just thought if you were busy..." the girl said quickly.

She shook her head. "No, Alexis. It's fine, you're fine. Really, thank you so much, both of you. For this morning, and now this," she gestured around the room. "I imagine this isn't exactly how you planned for your Chistmas dinner to go."

Martha scoffed. "Not at all, darling. It wasn't any trouble. Just a little family dinner, you know. Oh, Captain," she broke off suddenly, waving at Gates and making her way over to the other woman.

Kate watched her go with an amused and slightly startled expression. "Well..."

She heard Alexis's voice pipe up from behind her. "Gram said something about the two of them getting chummy when she dropped by once."

Kate turned to her with wide eyes. She had trouble imagining Gates getting "chummy" with anyone, much less Martha Rodgers. But okay.

"Well that is certainly unexpected," she offered the girl.

Alexis smiled and shrugged. "Gram's just like that sometimes, I guess. But, Kate?"

"Hmm?" She waited out the younger girl's slightly nervous expression. Whatever it was Alexis had to say, she must've thought it was important.

"I just – I wanted to say, it really isn't a big deal about bringing dinner down here, you know? I mean everybody here, they're like your family, right? And you're our's, so we just figured since this was where everyone was going to be... best plan right?"

Fissures of warmth and the feeling of tingling raced through her blood. There was a roaring in her ears. And yet through that, all she could hear was "Öand you're ours."

She had to focus in order to take her brain into gear and make her mouth move. She didn't want to upset Alexis, make her think she was bothered by what has been said. "I think it was an awesome plan, Alexis. Thank you. Really."

And then, because she had just overtly called her family, yet had a look about her that suggested she was worried she might've done something wrong – and because what the hell? Gates knew anyway, Kate reached out and pulled her partner's daughter against her in a quick causal hug.

Alexis moved on fairly quickly after that, heading over to talk to Lanie. Kate stood there for just a moment, trying to pull herself together before heading for the food.

"You okay?" Castle's voice broke in suddenly behind her.

She turned quickly. "Yeah I'm fine. Just – your daughter just claimed me, Castle." She said, hearing her on amazement bleeding into her voice.

He cleared his throat a little, cocked his head to one side as if he didn't quite know what to say. Well that was interesting. "Yeah, I kind of overheard that. You okay?" he asked again.

Kate blinked, stunned. Was that what – did he really think that it bothered her? Oh. Oh, that was exactly what he thought was wasn't it? And what Alexis had thought. That saying the words would freak her out, make her run. Crap. This wasn't the time or the place to deal with that. But, she had to, anyway.

"Of course I'm okay. Castle - Rick, that was amazing."

She watched him process it for a minute, finally get it. And then he grinned, reached out for a hug of his own. And she let him, because how could she not? Precinct or no. Besides, they were on a dinner break, it was Christmas, and Gates knew. For tonight, she could give at least that much ground.

"Come on," he said as he pulled away. "Let's get some food into you."

And because she could, she let him lead.

* * *

The email came in just as she was finishing her dinner. She heard the chime from her phone in her pocket and checked it reflexively, just in case it was something about the current case.

She read the subject line and froze. It was from Lisette, from the Angel Tree. Well, this was new. She opened the email, read the message above the included link.

_Dear Katie, please forgive me for pulling your email out of the file. But one of your littlest darlings was on my delivery route this week. Her mother permitted me to take a short video of the gift delivery, to promote the program. I thought you might enjoy seeing the results. - Lissette_

_PS. Please pass on our appreciation to Mr. Castle, as well. We are all more greatful than words can express, for the both of you._

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Hey, Castle?"

"Yeah?" He looked up from where he was sitting across the table.

"When you have a minute, I have something I want to show you," she said easily. She wasn't sure what Lissette had meant in her unexpected email, but it was clear that the woman had meant for both she and Castle to see it.

She waited a few moments before he stood up and followed her out of the break room. "What's up?" He asked.

She made her way over to her desk, picked up his ipad where he'd left it, and connected to her personal email. "You don't mind, do you? If I pull up my email on here? I want to show you something and I think it deserves a bigger screen than the one on my phone."

"Castle shrugged. "Sure, no problem, you know that. What is it?"

She looked up from entering passwords and accessing the email, leveled him with a questioning look. "I got an unexpected email from Lissette from the Salvation Army? She attached a video, said it was from one of the deliveries that included one of the kids we chose."

"Oh," he said quietly. And damn if he didn't suddenly look nervous. Kate's curiosity went up several notches. "Castle? What's going on?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. Too quickly.

She narrowed her eyes at him. But she let it go, pulled up the video. It was short, maybe 45 seconds. Kate could see a young woman holding a small baby girl. Oh, the baby. something in Kate's chest seemed to tighten and relax all at the same time.

And then the shot panned down, and oh - "Castle, look. She has the duck, your little stuffed duck." At least, that had seemed so small in the store. But next the tiny baby, it seemed to dwarf the infant. "It's almost as big as she is!"

"Yeah," he said quietly. She could hear it again in his voice, that wistful note of longing that neither one of them was ready to talk about.

"She's going to love on that until it goes to pieces," the young mother on the screen commented before the shot went dark.

Kate reached for his hand, squeezed gently. "That was wonderful, I'm so glad she sent it."

And just like that, Castle was evading her eyes again. "Yeah, um, me too."

"Castle, what is up with you? I know you must have said something to Lissette, because she also said quite specifically to be sure to thank you for everything."

Wow. He paled, visibly paled. What on earth was wrong with him today?

"She – she did? I didn't know she'd do that. I'm sorry I should've said something, I just didn't want to get in the way of your project."

This is ridiculous. He needed to stop trying to explain and start talking. "Castle, what are you talking about? You didn't get in the way of anything. We had fun. Right?"

He sighed. "Yeah, yeah of course we did. It's just – Kate that day that we went to drop everything off, while you were in the restroom we got to talking. Lissette was telling me that sometimes they have families whose kids get chosen by different people, how it can end up uneven. You'd done such an amazing job, so I just told her that if some of them had brothers or sisters who needed to something a little extra, to give me a call.

The Salvation Army usually takes care of it themselves, but with the storm and everything this year, I knew it end up having to go into their reserves for next year to cover shortfalls. And there were so many kids who have been chosen, so many still left."

Her eyes went wide. He was saying it like he was apologizing. Which was crazy, because seriously? He tried to cover the differences himself? All the ones left behind? And he's apologizing to her? "Castle it's incredible. But you didn't, you couldn't have done all that by yourself?"

She watched as he blinked at her, as if trying to register that she wasn't actually angry with him. Ridiculous man. Seriously? "No, no. Not all by myself, no. I just – it was only a donation Kate. Just money. And, well, a few calls. A few friends, people I know from Black Pawn, other writers. The guys from my various poker games. Just a few requests For a little anonymous assistance. Because there were just so many kids with nothing, and there's so much damn money in this city.

And I didn't want to diminish anything that you had accomplished, not even a little. I didn't know she'd say anything. But, it doesn't come close to the kind of things you did Kate, that you let me share in. The rest is just money."

Kate stared at him, her mouth dropping open. "Castle, that's amazing. It's incredible. And I know you're not like that. I know that now. Maybe three years ago I didn't. But I do now, okay?"

"Okay," he said softly. "I just, it's you, Kate. You're the amazing one. The planning, the care, the way you treated those kids like your own. Those are the things that will save the world, Kate, a little at a time. You just don't have to do it by yourself anymore."

And he's told her that before, that she wasn't alone. In several different ways. But for some reason, this is what brings it all up, hovering there at the surface. This is the thing that makes it want out so badly that she can't hold it in. Partners, always. And she just - "God, I love you."

He kissed her so fast, she didn't have time to see it coming, much less put a stop to it given their location. Then she heard a throat clearing behind her.

She spun quickly away from Castle to find Gates standing behind her. Crap. Sure, the woman knew she was seeing Castle, but this wasn't going to win them any favors. Castle, in an effort to look busy, she presumed, turned his attention to the board.

"Detective, I just came to thank you for the cookies. Miss Castle wrapped up a few for me to take to my girls, and she said you had made them."

Kate wasn't sure what to process first, that she wasn't in trouble; that Gates had kids, apparently; or what the older woman was actually saying.

"Oh, the cookies were - I helped with the recipe, but Alexis did most of the... it was teamwork. Mostly. Sir." God, she sounded 12 years old.

"Well, they are delicious in any case." Gates turned to go, but then looked back. "Oh, and detective? If you must engage in hoilday PDAs in my precinct, at least give those two," she tipped her head at Ryan and Esposito, the later of whom was quickly shoving his phone back in his pocket, "the satisfaction of moment under the mistletoe, so they can get it out of their systems and we can get back to work."

She flushed bright red. But no sooner had Gates made her way back to her office than Castle was yanking her back to the board.

"Teamwork. Beckett, that's it, look!"

And just like that, he was untangling the last knot in their case. She was beginning to think they might make it home in time to unwrap her partner, - ahem, her _present_ - after all.


End file.
